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Friday Nights; Sexcapades 2

Click here to read the first episode on sexcapades if you are just joining us…Friday Nights; Sexcapades

Enjoy!

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LOLA

I gawked at Elvis and his girlfriend who had just come to spoil our Friday hangout after she called to ask where he was; the one I didn’t know he had because I never cared to ask and he didn’t bother to tell me. I tried to wrap my head around this pending situation and the awkwardness I was facing at the moment being put in between the both of them trying to act all nice and goofy. I had definitely overstepped my boundary, what the hell was I thinking? And to think that he said I could invite my friends – well, that was before this bitch showed up!

Everything she did revealed that she was ratchet; I mean look at the way she was chewing her gum – inflating and deflating it like a balloon, and the tattoos on her neck and wrist – my goodness, why couldn’t she just have one? She even had large breasts. I looked at my semi-rounded chest as I tried to push them up for emphasis sake. Hers were so big, I doubt you could look at any direction without seeing them first. I sighed.

Elvis was trying to get us movie tickets but this crap of a girlfriend just kept distracting him from paying attention with her constant nagging. I mean, let the poor man breathe, jeez! I did not understand how Elvis was attracted to her, to be honest. I mean, I agree that she is very attractive and pretty but was that all he wanted in a lady?

One would think that a flashy, classy guy like Elvis would have a quintessential taste in women – sophisticated, intelligent, pretty, vision driven with warm personalities – but you all know what they say about sweeping statements. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t even know if this girlfriend of his was all that but I mean, she just looked different from the ideal woman. I mean, ever since I met Elvis, I tried to do my best to gain his attention – well, which I got until this mf arrived tonight!

I was so lost in thought, I didn’t realize Elvis had been trying to get my attention; “Babes…Yo Lola?”

“Yes…” I whispered meekly “Yes Elvis, what is it?” I asked coming back to my senses.

“Do you want to watch Deadpool 2?”

“Anything you guys pick out is fine by me.”

“Are you sure? You said you wanted to see a movie…what did you have in mind?”

That I would be alone with you in the hall, laughing and holding hands while trying to understand how you react to movies and how throaty your laughter can go…I thought but I didn’t say that instead I said, “Deadpool 2. You know it just came out 2 weeks ago and I haven’t had the time to see it.”

“Okay then, Deadpool 2 it is.” He said to the cashier at the other end, “3 tickets please.”

I put my palm on my forehead, this is definitely going to be a long night and at best, one of the worst I have had.

************

ZIZI

I knew I was doomed for humiliation when I saw Deji at the front door of my office on my way home. What the hell was he looking for at my office without telling me that he was coming? How can he treat me like this, appearing at any time he pleased, making my heart beat like I was a small child. I swallowed some spit as I continued walking towards where he was standing counting the seconds behind my every step. I should have just left a long time ago when Lola called.  I wondered what he had up his sleeves.

“Hello Deji…” I muttered weakly as I got to where he was, already standing full height facing me. This man was a real distraction and with the way I was feeling anxious, I might soon get high blood pressure!

“Hey you…good evening.” He smiled.

Why was he smiling? What was funny in all of these? The sight of him wasn’t even helping me at all. I was damn tired and I just wanted to get rest – at home.

“To what do I owe this unpleasant surprise?” I asked looking tartly at him.

“Unpleasant? Did you say unpleasant?”

“At least, I’m sure your ears still function properly.” I shifted my foot idly.

“Can I take you somewhere for drinks and if you are up to it, maybe food as well and we could talk?”

“Deji, not tonight please.”

“Please Zizi. I won’t take your time. Trust me.”

“You could have told me earlier you know. I am really tired and I doubt I can walk any further. I really need to rest.”

“I’ll carry you and maybe add a  massage as well.” He smiled as he reached to hold my hands.

I shook my head at him. “I can’t Deji. I need to go home. It is really late. I’m sorry.”

“Ice-cream then? It won’t take more than ten minutes and maybe we can talk on the way to your house?”

I looked up at him. This man that sometimes has my heart melting. This man that had me drooling at him with his gentility. How could I say no to Ice-cream and a free ride home? I smiled at him, “Okay, just ice-cream.”

“Yes my lady. Shall we?”

I walked in front of him to where his car was parked and got in. I looked at my wristwatch, it was 8.45pm. I wondered why I allowed myself to stay up at the office so late when I should have gone home earlier.

“Seat-belt please.” I heard him mutter softly as he started the ignition. I promptly obeyed laying back my head on the headrest and hoping I could close my eyes without any disturbance. We drove off quietly without saying a word as he slipped his right hand to cup my left hand. I didn’t even bother to pull my hand away, his hand was soft and soothing – I was warmed by his touch.

 

************

MIMI

We arrived at Coors Restaurant just as the minute was about striking to ten and walked in. The environment was serene and peaceful, warm and cozy. I busied myself with my phone while Dafe ran ahead to the other end to say hello to some of his friends. It seemed like a regular spot for them. I admired the way he smiled effortlessly, like he had no care in the world. I was almost drooling on him when I reminded myself that ogling someone could be a sin. I immediately readjusted my eyes to my Google Pixel 2 in front of me and opened my twitter page and just when I was gaining concentration, he walked up to me with a waiter behind him as he nudged me with his elbows gently.

“Hey sexy…what are you up to without me?”

I smiled without responding as I looked up at the waiter in front of us. Dafe picked up the menu and looked at me with eyes asking what what I wanted to eat. I picked out Jollof Spaghetti with shrimps and prawns while he gently ordered African Salad (Abacha) with two large fishes, a jug of juice for me and a bottle of beer for himself. The waiter left us and I asked why he had ordered me a whole jug of juice. He smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

I silently plucked out my phone from my trousers and started pressing on it. Dafe didn’t say anything, instead he reached out to my free hand and held on to it, gently caressing it. I pulled it free from him not wanting to encourage any funny ideas he might be having as he pulled himself closer to me. I smelt his cologne. Old spice, just as nice. I breathed it in and sighed. This man. He did smell nice and I wondered why I had a thing for a nice scent. He held me by the waist and muttered, “so tell me, when do I get to see you again after tonight?”

I didn’t respond. I stared at him suspiciously while he looked at me confused. “What” He queried.

“Nada.” I responded shrugging as I continued with my phone.

“You haven’t answered my question.”

The waiter walked in with the drinks, set them on the table and poured out some of the contents of the juice in a glass cup for me. I looked at him, who asked him to fill my glass? He stood upright and smiled, “the food will be arriving shortly. Please let me know if you will like anything else.”

“Thank you.” Dafe responded to him as a cue to tell him to leave. The waiter smiled and walked away.

I took a gracious sip from the glass cup and realized I was really thirsty. What was wrong with me and food? Just then, Dafe pulled me closer to himself, “I don’t know but I just want to hold you.” He looked at me straight in the eye.

I pulled away not liking where the conversation was towing or the reactions my body was giving.  I coughed. “So tell me mister Dafe, what do you do for a living?” I said trying to change the conversation.

“Ha, I thought you’d never ask.” He smiled as he poured his beer into the glass and took a sip. “Well, I do a lot of things, which would you like to know?”

“Well, maybe the basic ones. The ones that really, mostly take your time and attention and then maybe later, we can delve to the passive ones.”

“Okay then…that is a good start.”

Just then, the waiter arrived with the food accompanied by another waitress. After carefully arranging  the first set of dish on the table, he turned to her and picked the second dish, placing it in front of me. Apparently it was mine. He slid the covers open and placed them on the tray the waitress was holding. The aroma from the contents of the food filled the room. It was heavenly. Dafe looked at me enthusiastically, he could tell I was already salivating from the way I smacked my lips unconsciously. I suddenly felt embarrassed.

He continued as I put my fork to work digging into my food, “I work at an off-grid solar energy company. We deal with energy solutions and delivering sustainable solar power to all our clients and customers. We also try to, you know make optimal design solutions to businesses and start-ups most times upfront with no capital cost and as a way to get the clients in. So I work there from Mondays to Wednesdays and partly sometimes on Friday. On Thursdays, I try to supervise, monitor and manage the properties we have to ensure effective delivery of services to the tenants and occupiers of the premises. On Saturdays, I engage in software development and designing all the websites I piled up during the week for clients.” He cleaned his fork and knife with the serviette and beautifully cut up his fish placing some in his mouth.

I swallowed. “Wow, that is a lot of work that you do. These cannot all be tied to the same company, no?” I reached to dig my fork into his plate while scooping some of  the African salad into my mouth, it was real nice…I should have ordered this, I thought.

“No, they are not the same companies.” He guarded his mouth with his hands as he chewed a bit and continued, “they are different companies but I happen to work in all of  them.” He grinned.

“How do you do it? I mean, does your boss know that you don’t appear at work on Thursday and sometimes Friday or did you sign some sort of independent contract that gets you just 3 days of work?”

“Well, let’s say that  I typically have some sort of independent contract since I am the boss.”

“Oh I see, you own the off-grid?” I asked bemused

“Well, so it would seem.” He replied modestly.

“Oh wow…that is great. You’ve really done well for yourself.”

“I doubt I have.” He took another sip of his drink as he continued eating.

I realized I hadn’t eaten much of my food and that his plate was almost empty. I rolled my fork to accommodate more of the spaghetti as I pushed it into my mouth, chewing a bit before I asked, “hmm, how old are you mister?” I eyed him discreetly.

He laughed as he wiped his mouth clean with another serviette, “32.” He said looking towards me.

“Oh wow, you are  my elder brother oo.” I smiled sweetly at him.

“Lol, please don’t tag me already with that. Just take it back.” He chuckled. I smiled gleefully as he continued, “I see you are not a fast eater. I should teach you how to eat.” He leaned to take a forkful of my spaghetti and some of the prawns. “Hmm, this is tasty. I wonder why I never had this here before.” He looked curious.

“Please, join me.” I pleaded seeing that I might waste the food.

“No way. It is all yours to devour. No wonder you are so slender and sexy.”

“Lol, you should see how I eat. Then you wouldn’t be saying this.” I said as I returned to my food.

“I hear you ma. I can see you already, you don’t seem to like food.”

“Oh well, I cannot force you to believe.” I replied as I ate earnestly while he watched. After about twenty minutes, I was done with my meal. The waiter came in soon enough and cleared the table, returning later with some desserts. I wasn’t sure when Dafe ordered them but it was a nice distraction, as I scooped on the yogurt with some chocolate and nut toppings.

*************

ZIZI

We drove to Hans and Rene at Radisson Blu to get some ice-cream. I was humbled by his choice of restaurant. He looked at me with pleading eyes asking that we sit a while to discuss, I didn’t object. I wanted to sit down by the way and enjoy the serenity of this place taking my ice-cream in silent licks. As we moved to sit down, Deji took my left hand in his and kissed me on the cheek. I was startled. I jerked away from him trying to comprehend what had just happened.

He looked at me meekly as he pulled out a chair for me to sit. I obliged as I took a scoop from my ice-cream. I was still juggling the regret I was feeling for how I had jerked away from him when I felt ice cold liquid drench my hair and trickle down my face into my mouth. Everything was happening so fast, I didn’t understand it until I heard her voice.

“So it is you!” She snorted, “You this good for nothing low life…kissing my man and appearing with him in public. Have you no shame?”

I didn’t understand, what is the meaning of this rubbish? What was all these nonsense? What the hell was she talking about? I turned to face my opponent. It was a stupid attractive young girl with eyelashes the size of both my own. I looked at her as I screamed, “are you not mad? What is the meaning of this nonsense?” I looked at my soaking wet clothes

“You think you can take anyone’s man because you are fine and fair skinned? You lie…you bitch!” She screamed at me as she proceeded to take another ice-cream cup and down it on me.

Deji looked embarrassed as he tried to push the young lady from coming close to me with the ice cream cup. I couldn’t look up but I knew everyone in the room was watching. “What is wrong with you Omotayo? What is the meaning of all these?” Deji asked calmly.

Talk of humiliation at its peak. I looked at my body which was now enjoying the soaking ice-cream pouring from my hair. My reputation with this Deji has just been damaged, just when I thought I was beginning to develop feelings for him. Stupid girl, I muttered as I took the serviette to wipe my clothes. This wouldn’t cut it.

I grabbed my bag in annoyance as I headed to the restroom with the stupid girl screaming at me and Deji doing his best to hold her at bay before she causes any further nuisance. She was lucky Deji held her tight because I would have beaten somebody’s child today. Can you imagine? The Deji that is even disturbing me. The man that I don’t even want to spend time with is the same man someone wants to kill herself for? What a funny world.

I looked at my hair in the mirror as I wiped it with a wet tissue. Thankfully, I was on braids, so it was easier to clean. As I bent my head in shame wondering what the people outside would probably be thinking of me and hoping that the ground would open and swallow me so I would not have to come out, two things lingered in my mind;

Why did Deji Elizade Kiss me on my cheek so abruptly?

Who the hell was that stupid lady that had no public manners and how was Deji involved with that kind of crap?

Just then, I heard someone knocking on the door. I realized I had stayed in too long and that I had shut off others from using the restroom. I sighed as I moved to open the door for the ladies I might have locked out. Lo and behold, it was Deji…

“Deji, please just go away.” I said walking back in.

“I need to take you home Zizi.”

“I don’t want you to take me anywhere. Just go and tend to your lost sheep.” I said flatly

“I’m sorry Zizi. I had no idea this would happen.”

“Just like you will have no idea when she shows up here; I want you to leave me alone please. Have you not embarrassed me enough already?”

“Zizi please, don’t talk like this. Let me take you home. It is the least I can do.”

“Deji, the least you can do really, is to leave me the hell alone!” I walked away and stood at the running tap as I closed it.

This was the most ridiculous thing to happen ever to me. How would I share this insane story with my friends? My goodness! Just then, I felt Deji’s hand rub my shoulder and I realized I was tensed. “Deji please…just leave me or you won’t like what I’ll do next.” I turned to look at him.

“There’s something on your face.” He said looking intently at me as if searching my face. “What is it?” I asked wanting to turn back to face the mirror.

“Let me help you.”

“Deji don’t touch me.” I screamed.

“Calm down Zizi. Let me help you, I think it’s waffles from the ice-cream.” he said as he reached to put his hands on my face while I closed my eyes because I didn’t want to look at him. The next thing that happened shocked me. I felt his soft wet lips touch mine and for the first time in months, I willingly gave in without a fight as I let the tears pour down. He kissed them away as he said, “I’m sorry about tonight Zizi, I didn’t mean for this to happen. Please let me take you home.”

I looked at him, visibly more annoyed at myself for allowing this handsome nonsense man kiss me and for letting myself slip away at his touch. I let him take my bag as he led me to the car and drove me home silently.

*******

MIMI

We left the Coors at about 11.40pm as it started to drizzle. I hoped that the rain won’t come down heavy just so I could get home to avoid any potholes it might build. As I sat beside Dafe, I wondered why I couldn’t  just book an Uber – I didn’t want him driving me to my house. I looked at him, “hey, why don’t I just order an Uber so you don’t have to stress yourself.”

“Who said I was stressing myself?” He grinned sheepishly. “Don’t worry, I’ll take you home.”

“I don’t think that is a good idea Dafe. Let me just order an Uber, please. The road is really far from here and it’s looking like it will rain soon.”

“Do you just hate me so much or is there something I am not doing right?”

I laughed, “I don’t understand. I’m looking out for you. What does hate or like have to do with this?”

He sighed and leaned forward. To be honest, I cannot explain how but he kissed me and I pushed him away ever so lightly. For the life of me, it was good. Real good. Just that short moment and I was almost caught up. I tucked my hair behind my ears as I looked away. He reached to hold my hand, I pulled them free from his grasp. This was not meant to happen. The car suddenly felt hot. I couldn’t breathe. He sighed. “I’ll take you home tonight. The next time we see, I’ll take you home – my home.”

He started driving and I stared hard at him in disbelief. Did he just say that? So bluntly! What audacity! My heart felt like it was literally going to fall. I swallowed as he drove on, playing a soft tune. I couldn’t utter a statement. I feared this man was going to rape me – in a good way. As if he knew what I was thinking, he placed his hands on mine and softly began to caress it. It was soothing but also disturbing and so I pulled them away. He turned to look at me when we approached the traffic lights and smiled, reaching to caress my cheek…”sexy girl, smile for me.”

I pouted and ignored his comment. We got to my home area in record time and I requested him to drop me off along my home. He refused bluntly and said he was going to take me home, see me walk in through the gate before he drives off. I was tired of arguing so I let him take me home. When we got to my gate and I made to come down, he reached for me again and kissed me. I didn’t know whether or not to resist, as I battled in my head. I placed one finger on his lips as I gently pulled away from this man that was causing me to feel strange. He looked at me with shrewd eyes as he asked, “When will I see you again?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged.

“Can I come pick you up in the morning?”

“What morning?”

“Tomorrow morning.”

“Dafe, I have other appointments tomorrow and besides it is 12.38am. Go home already.”

“Do you want me to come drag you out?”

“I have appointments I can’t cancel Dafe.”

“Should I drive you there tomorrow? These appointments, I mean.”

“No, you are not allowed to do that. Thank you for the offer.”

“What does a man have to do to get to you?” he asked distraught.

“To get in my pants, you mean.”

“Either ways…what do I have to do?”

“Get away you dirty mind!” I responded as I flung open the car door and shut it behind me.

He came out from his end and shouted, “I’ll call you tomorrow morning. Goodnight sexy.”

I walked away hoping no one around my estate heard him call me sexy.

__________________________________________

Watch this space for more Episodes of Friday Nights.

Till I come your way again next time, this is ShiozeThinksOut.

Cheers!

 

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Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey V

Click here to read the fourth episode on reckless journey if you are just joining us…Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey IV

Enjoy!

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MIMI

As we drove silently towards Deji’s home, I watched the way he looked every now and then at Zizi. I silently observed them both and wondered if he was a fitting pair for my friend. I observed both their faces; Zizi kept pulling her hand away from Deji’s constant grasp.

My dear, quietly drive us to where the bed is and continue this love and affection later on, I thought.

As usual, Lola was fantasizing about Elvis and I wondered how long it will take before the crush for him wanes off. I shook my head as I watched her closely. She was obviously lost in thoughts.

*******

Soon enough, we arrived at Deji’s home. Apparently, he lived alone in one of his Father’s mansion since his father was not keen about returning back to Nigeria. I was bedazzled by the vastness and magnificence of the building. There were two other cars parked at the place reserved for parking and my, oh my, boy were they classy? Even the security guard looked classy, I began to consider the job. As we approached the living area just beside the foyer, Lola and I caught our breathe as if on cue. The space is a definition of lush, even my rugged sandals relaxed when they stepped on the rug. I look around and all of a sudden, I want to run and bury myself on the plush couch with feather pillows.

Deji takes us to the room where we can stay for the night and I quietly observe everything around me again. The bed is large, well laid out and fluffy with coffee brown sheets and plush apricot accent pillows.  The Alphano Beige walls have a calming effect, the walnut mahogany furniture used for the dresser and the closet gives the room a glowing warm, cuddly feeling. The lace curtains are a darker brown with Apricot colored tassels, it is exquisite.

I drop my bag carefully on the dresser and move to the restroom as I  need to pee. Everything is another shade of copper brown and ceramic, the shower head is Silver and the tub is polished brown. White towels are hanging on a railing in the corner, soaps and bottles of lotions, fragrances, shampoos and other things I know nothing about are in a transparent cupboard sitting just beside the copper mirror hanging above the hand faucet; my face looks sleepy.

I wash my face quickly. All these looks like I am inside a movie. I hear Zizi’s voice behind me.

“All these things in a guest room. Hian!”

I look up at her as I shake my head, “Please, allow us to enjoy the serenity of this place.”

“Better go to bed oo. We are leaving here before Noon.”

I hear Lola shout from the room, “You are alone oo Zizi. I am staying here till Sunday. You will tell me who is chasing you.”

She shakes her head as she moves to pee. “I have said my own oo. Don’t be deceived by all these beautiful things surrounding you. I have laundry to do.”

“I don’t understand you oo. We only just got here Zizi.” I said looking point blank at her, “Why the rush?”

“Can you not see the time? 6.15am. We spent the entire night partying and drinking. You still want us to waste our day sleeping here? Please, I have things to do if you girls don’t.”

“We did not exactly party and drink all night madam. Besides, you invited us here. How are we at fault in all these?” I asked opening my two hands beside me. By this time, Lola had also come in, struggling to pee and take a bath.

“I have said my own. You people just kept dancing like mad women. Instead of requesting that Deji take us home. See Mimi, I just want to get enough rest, wake up before 12pm and go home. I cannot keep piling my laundry and I have other meetings to attend.”

“Ah, so we are now mad women abi?”

“Yes oo. I don’t even know where you girls get the energy to keep on all night. My goodness!”

“Okay oo, if you say you want to leave early…no wahala. I will decide what I want to do when I wake up.”

“Please wake me up by 10.30am.” She requested

“Lol, did you ask me what time I will be waking up? I’m sure you are making a mistake by asking me to do that for you – that is, if I even wake up by 2pm.” I snort.

“You guys have fun planning your exit. I am here till Sunday bitches.” Lola chirped in laughing as she pulled her panties to take a shower. “Get out you two, stop looking at my bum.”

“Which one please?” Zizi asked “Because somebody looked your way tonight, we will not hear word.” She laughed as she smacked Lola’s right bum cheek.

“Ehn, is it your somebody? Please allow me enjoy this moment!” Lola retorted as she closed the glass doors of the shower tub. “Harassing someone’s child.”

I laughed at them both as I made to pull off my clothes.

“Ehn ehn, better wait your turn Mimi. I am taking a shower right after Lola.”

“Hian, you are not even ready to take a shower madam. Why are you acting like Nigerian politics?”

“Leave me like that, ready or not, I am taking a shower next. You can see, I have no energy and I need more sleep than the two of you. Please just allow me.”

“Who has your time? Take your shower and let me be.”

“You see why I love you?”

“You have seen someone you can manipulate now, that is why. I don’t blame you…” I said as I walked into the room looking for where to charge my phone. Apparently, one of my friend had plugged it on the power socket for me. I was relieved. I laid down on the bed trying to reminisce on the occurrences of last night and early this morning. My stomach grumbled and I realized I was hungry. Shoot. I will just have to wait it out.

******

At some point, I slept off. A warm hand reached to tap me, “Hey gurl, go and take a shower.”

I looked up and saw Lola staring bright eyed at me, “is she through?” I asked

“Yep. She is toweling herself dry.”

I sighed as I made to stand up. I was darn hungry. I looked at Lola. “What?” She asked

“I am hungry fa.”

“My dear, I thought I was the only one. We just have to wait it out.”

“Did I hear someone say she is hungry just now or am I the one thinking it?” Zizi asked as she walked out of the bathroom.

“Lol, yes you heard us say we are hungry. Come and beat us.”

“Beat ke? No oo, in fact, I am hungry as well. You won’t believe it.”

“If there is anything we can believe, it is the fact that you are hungry. After all, you were forming ‘I’m not hungry‘ when everyone was eating at the beach.” Lola laughed as I walked away to take a shower.

“My dear…if only I knew, I would have eaten something.” Zizi affirmed.

********

Just as I was stepping out of the bathroom, I heard a gentle knock on the door. I rubbed my eyes gently wondering what Deji wanted to say now that Zizi had probably gone to sleep. I looked towards the bed and saw my friends lying peacefully after they had reserved a corner for me by the left hand side facing the windows.

“Hold on a bit please.” I walked towards the dresser and wondered what to put on for sleep. I was tempted to uncover the duvet to see what my friends were wearing but I was more conscious of the fact that I was keeping someone waiting at the door. Shoot! I said to myself. I tightened the towel around my chest and walked towards the door, “Hold on…” I said as I opened the door puzzled that he didn’t knock a second time.

I was startled at first as I stared on. I stared at her for what seemed to be three minutes before I heard her say, “hello ma, are you okay?”

I swallowed spit  and pretended to smile as several thoughts ran in my head, who is she?

“Mister Deji asked me to bring you ladies some fresh shirts to wear.” She said holding forward her hands filled with three soft tee-shirts.

“Oh, thank you.” I could barely even whisper. A maid.

“Would you like to have anything before you go to sleep ma? Mister Deji said you all would be very hungry after the long night. I prepared some warm milk. I can bring it up, if you are too tired to come out.”

I smiled at her. She was gracious. “Yes please.” I responded without shame. “Bring anything you have my dear, my friends and I are sincerely hungry.”

She chuckled at me for the first time and I felt relaxed. “Okay ma.” She said as she walked away while I closed the door behind me. I did not like the idea of her calling me Ma, it made me feel old.

Apparently, she was the one who tidied up this room and laid out the towels for us because I was wondering how Deji knew to bring out three fresh towels. I walk up to my friends and yanked off the duvet, behold two set of naked humans! They did not even bother to put on something, my goodness! I thought. I tapped them individually as they turned to look at me, clearly upset.

“Deji sent us some clothes to wear naked people.”

Lola laughed, “Who told you we wanted to wear cloths?” Zizi asked covering herself with the duvet again.

“Stand up jhoor and wear the shirts your handsome prince sent us. By the way, food is coming.”

Lola jerked up suddenly, “where is it?” as they start to wear the shirts.

“Ode” I laughed, “I said it is coming and by the way, he has a warm maid.”

Zizi’s eye lit up. “A maid? How would you know that?”

“Don’t worry, she is coming soon with the food. She brought the shirts.” I smiled sitting on the bed as I half-crossed my leg. Just then, she knocked again, very quietly. “Hold on, I’m coming.”

I hurried to open the door as I let her in. She was carrying a huge tray filled with pancakes, maple syrup, jug of warm milk, sausages and eggs.

“Thank you…” I looked at her, “what is your name?”

“Aisha Ma.”

“Thank you Aisha. Please don’t call me Ma, my name is Mimi.”

“Yes Ma. Do you want anything else.”

I looked at my friends who were now standing by the table picking out what they wanted to eat on a plate. I shook my head, “No Aisha. Thank you very much.”

She smiled as she walked out. I grabbed a plate as I helped myself to some of the food. I was very hungry. Zizi looked at me, “You were there telling the poor girl not to call you Ma. Do you want her to get sacked? You will not allow someone do their job in peace, be there forming good girl.”

Lola laughed, “Zizi abeg oo, leave Mimi alone. You know it is not easy getting used to these things. It takes time.”

“Ha, very true. Lola your head dey there.”

I shook my head at them. I did not have their time. I was hungry and I could only talk after the hunger had been pacified. The poor Aisha girl did not even remove the ‘Ma’ from her mouth when addressing me. I wondered if I was acting like a ‘Ma’.

I finish the food on my plate and gulp down the milk I poured out for myself. I rub my aching stomach as I reach out to take the last sausage on the bowl. Zizi hits my hand as she takes it. I tilt my head and pout my mouth in a, why-did-you-do-that-to-me manner. I look to Lola for help but Lola is already hugging the pillow searching for sleep. Zizi takes two bite and put the other in my mouth. I am grateful. I yawn and know that my body is ready to sleep. I reach to put off the lights as I take up the space left for me. I go into oblivion.

_________________________________

Watch this space for more Episodes of Friday Nights.

Till I come your way again next time, this is ShiozeThinksOut.

Cheers!

Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey III

Click here to read the Second episode on reckless journey if you are just joining us…Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey II.

Enjoy!

_________________

MIMI

I am full to the brim and not sure if I can survive a walk. I look at my friends laughing at something on Lola’s phone. I am unmoved. I look around and get a feel of everybody’s presence at the cafe. It’s a mix-mash of several groups.

The guys with the tattoos, deep pockets and heavy laughs – they looked more like G boys to me. The girls with the really expensive weaves, sexy bodies, luscious lips and ready arms – I am not sure how to classify them. The older men with the fuller hair, grim smiles and cautious eyes – sugar daddy types.

I look around me and wondered how to classify us. We were also a certain mix of some sort and truthfully, my girls and I looked average. I felt like sinking deeper into my seat. I looked at Lola and then Zizi, they didn’t look that bad. They looked quite classy but I wasn’t sure how I looked. I’m sure I was looking like the only secondary school kid in the room. I sighed.

Suddenly I heard someone say, “why aren’t you dancing?”

I looked up and saw Jay looking at me smiling, “Oh, I didn’t realize it was dancing time.” I responded.

He grins at me and say, “are you going to stand up and dance at all? You look tired out.”

I look around and see Lola dancing with Fara, Micheal and Elvis. Zizi just kept moving her head while seated on her seat sharing some jokes with Mina and Dafe. I looked up at Jay again, “erm, just give me some time. My stomach hurts.”

He laughed, “You sure ate a lot, please don’t get sick.”

“I’ll try not to.” I chuckled as he danced away.

 

Suddenly the cafe had turned to a kind of night club and everybody was dancing to DJ Exclusive’s music. The guy sure knew how to keep it banging as people kept screaming with oohs and ahhs at his every track change. I was amused.

I didn’t realize that the guys kept ordering more drinks or that I had been drinking probably too much until I made to stand and dance when the song ‘Diet‘ by Tiwa Savage and DJ Enimoney started to play.

“Whoop!” I exclaimed almost falling

“Be careful.” Mina shouted through the music

“Thank you, I probably have had too much to drink.”

“You better watch it, especially when you are out with these men. They drink like fishes and they don’t even feel  it.”

“I can imagine.” I laughed dancing all the same to the tune.

“Come on Zizi, dance with me.” I pulled up my friend who was nodding her head and smiling at me.

“Mimi, I am tired and in no mood to dance. I wish we were out with our other friends. You know I would have danced my heart out.”

“Well, you invited us here, so slog it out and shake that bum with me!”

She laughed hard as I managed to pull her up towards me and we started to dance. “That’s more like it gurl. Enjoy the night, you only live once!”

“Ode, shut up before I sit down right back.”

“You have always just been a big bully.” I grinned at her.

She tapped me in the middle of our dance, “What is it?” I asked

“Look at your friend.”

“Who?” I asked looking around

“Ode. Lola, look at Lola. See how she found herself a man, that girl is sharp unlike you dancing beside me as if I will be the one to marry you.”

We both laughed. “Really Zizi? Abeg allow Lola to have her fun. If she caught a fish, all the better for us.”

I reached down to pour myself more wine.

**********

DEJI

As I think silently of where next we should probably go to, I look at Zizi and Mimi dancing. I see the way Zizi smiles at whatever Mimi is saying to her and wish that I were Mimi at that point. The day I first saw her, I knew I had a battle ahead of me which would be a key situation but I just didn’t know that it would take me this long to keep figuring how to win the battle.

I have to say that I am quite pleased that she has brought Mimi and Lola. I wonder how the night would have panned out were they not here with her. I sigh as I sip on my drink.

One step at a time Deji. One step at a time.

I scroll through my phone and call my guy at Sailors. After a series of not picking up the call, I dip my phone back into my pocket. I look at Zizi again. She looks so pretty, her hair neatly tucked behind her ears.

I stand up to dance with Dafe as he shuffles towards me.

“Guy, what’s up?” He started

“I’m good man. What’s up with you?”

“Nothing. You think we should head out to another place?”

“Yeah. I think we should. I was just thinking about it.”

“So I’m thinking the beach would be fun tonight. It’s the last Friday of the month!”

“Oh yeah, that’s true…how did I forget? Wait, let’s check out the beach here.”

“Naa, I already went out there with Lola and Elvis. Ain’t much groove going on. It’s just the same thing as inside here.”

“So what beach are we going to go to?”

“We can try Elegushi, the other ones are too far off. Don’t want to scare the girls off.”

“Okay. Let’s see.” I look at my watch. It’s 2.53am. “Say we leave in the next 15 – 20 minutes? Is that okay?”

“Sure! Let me just clear up all our orders.” Dafe smiled as he began to walk away.

“Thanks man. You rock!”

“Anytime fam.”

Dafe has been my friend for 12 years now, he knows almost everything about me and has always been an extra helping hand. I couldn’t have gone anywhere without telling Dafe or bringing him along. We had refined into something much more than friends. This included Jay as well.

I walk towards Michael and Jay…

“Yo guys, we will be leaving soon.”

“Oh where to?” Michael asked

“The beach.” I grinned at Jay as he grinned back.

“Way to go, it’s about that time.” Jay said.

I reached out to Zizi and Mimi who were fully engrossed with Fara, Mina and Ralph laughing, dancing and talking.

“Hey, we will be leaving soon.”

“Oh beautiful.” Zizi muttered “Thank you.”

“Erm, we are heading to the beach at Elegushi.” I whispered to her

“Oh…” I saw the downcast look in her eyes “I thought you meant we were going home. Okay.”

I reached out to hold her hand as I looked on at her, “Are you tired?”

“I guess but it’s okay. Everyone sure looks happy about the beach thing.”

“No it’s not – if you are not okay with it, we can head home.”

“Naa, don’t worry. I will suck it up!” She put her two thumbs up and smiled but I wasn’t convinced. “Really Deji. It’s okay. At least, I made some friends.” She smiled.

“Ziola really…I can take you home.”

“…and miss out on the night beach fun? No way…I’m definitely going. I just fear that I might give you a lot of stress tomorrow.”

“I am up for it.” I responded almost immediately, “I want your stress.”

“Lol. Go jare.” She said laughing as she hit me playfully

I liked that she hit me that way. I touched her cheek lightly but she brushed it off as she moved closer to where Mimi was standing taking selfies with Mina and Ralph.

“Yo Dej, are we ready?” I heard Dafe’s voice behind me.

“I guess.” I clapped “Okay guys, time to bounce out.”

“Yayy…” I heard them all scream in unison as Fara led the way holding hands with Lola.

____________________________

Watch this space for more Episodes of Friday Nights.

Till I come your way again next time, this is ShiozeThinksOut.

Cheers!

Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey II

Click here to read the first episode on reckless journey if you are just joining us… Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey 1. Enjoy!

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We get to Hard Rock Cafe as the darkness envelops us, Deji’s other friends were already at the entrance waiting for us. He circles towards the entrances while we all get down from the car as Deji hands over his keys to the valet to park the car.

“After you.” Jay mutters at us signalling with his right hand.

We all moved in and sat right at the middle of the room facing the DJ. Fortunately, DJ Exclusive was playing. This is going to be fun, I thought to myself.

Deji’s and his friends suddenly burst into bouts of laughter and I look up to see that some other friends had just joined in too armed with attractive looking ladies. They all spoke impeccable English and had the sort of class that came with above middle income earners. I smoothed my skirt as I looked away trying hard not to concern myself with how pretty the two new ladies were looking.

“Hello,” I heard someone whisper towards our direction.

“Hello” Lola started

“Hello” Zizi and I smiled back at the guy that bent himself towards our direction.

“Which one of you is Zizi?”

Lola and I pointed our fingers at Zizi smiling her way.

“Hi” he said again. “Deji won’t stop talking about you. I’m finally glad to be meeting you in person.”

“Thank you.” Zizi smiled “This is a surprising news.”

He looked on at us and smiled back. “I am Michael by the way, nice to meet you all. That is my girlfriend Fara, over there.” He said pointing at the small slender attractive lady seated by Elvis. She waved back and smiled.

He finally sat down beside Lola as Dafe ordered for an ice bucket of 3 bottles of Moet et Chandon rose. The menu sat right by us and we all placed our orders. I, for one, was really famished.

******

DEJI

I watch Zizi and her friends and wonder if they will loosen up around my friends. I wasn’t sure whether or not to invite my other friends over but I thought they needed the extra crowd to relax a bit more. They looked like they were cautious or something, I wasn’t sure. I see Michael easing up his way with the girls but then again, I’m hopeful they will come around.

Fara and Mina were not helpful in this game as they resorted to talking to each other. I wonder why they weren’t exchanging pleasantries with the girls. I looked at Mimi – she was smiling at the DJ nodding her head to the beat. Hmm, she was the feisty one among them. I saw how she nudged Zizi and Lola prompting them to move to the beat. I liked that she had soul. I looked at Zizi and wondered if I was boring her out. I nudged her slightly…

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Yes,” she replied “why wouldn’t I be?”

“You look tired and bothered. Do you want us to leave?”

“No, I’m just hungry. Don’t mind me, once I eat…I will come alive.” She chuckled

“Are you sure about that? We can go home if you want.”

“Lol, after you drag out all your friends and mine? Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

“Just look at Mimi, she’s having fun but I’m bothered that you are not and Lola is just trying to flow with her.”

“Just leave Mimi…she’s a very happy person. I’m sure she’s more hungry than I am. Wait till the food lands on the table.”

“Lol,” I said laughing “and she’s so tiny?”

“Keep joking with yourself.”

I looked at Zizi and smiled, “Will you dance with me after your food?”

“Oga, please shift.” She said literally pushing me away, “ask somebody else.”

“Example?”

“I don’t know. There are so many other people here you can ask.” She reached to sip her glass of wine.

I paused a while as I studied her, “What do I have to do to make you be the one to dance with me?”

“Nothing oo, nothing.”

“That’s not an answer Zizi.” I reached to tuck her hair beside her ear as she shifted uncomfortably.

“I don’t know Deji. There’s really no answer to your question.”

“I don’t get it. Why do you keep pushing me away Zizi? Is there something wrong with me?”

“My goodness, no! I never said that.”

“You are acting like it.”

She sighed “Deji, can we not do this here please. At least, I agreed to spend the Friday with you and see,” she pointed at her friends “to show how committed I am to it, I brought my friends along. Can we just do this a step at a time?”

“Okay…” I breathed shifting a bit away from her. “I just…hmm, try to enjoy yourself okay.”

I looked around, the others were clearly talking to each other now. I noticed Mina and Mimi were laughing and Lola was busy with Elvis. It was a good start. I beckoned to Fara, “Hey Fara.”

She looked up at me, “Yep?”

“Meet Zizi. Zizi, Fara.”

“Yes, Michael introduced us earlier” Fara smiled as she stretched and shook hands with Zizi.

“Hi Fara…” Zizi started “that’s a lovely weave you have on.”

“Really?” Fara grinned widely touching the weaves again to lay emphasis. I moved aside to let her sit besides Zizi as she stood up from where she sat. “And Mina just won’t let me breathe. She keeps telling me to take it off.”

“Why?” Zizia asked “I think it looks pretty on you.”

“I don’t know. Mina doesn’t like long hair, so she thinks my hair should have been done in a ponytail. She only likes it when I pack it all up.”

“Yeah, I think it will be more prettier that way but that doesn’t change the fact that it still looks pretty this way.”

“Thank you Zizi.” Mina said hugging her for the first time. “Finally, a contrary opinion to Mina.”

“Lol, who else doesn’t like it?”

“Michael! He thinks I should pack it all up but he has gotten used to me having it on this way. How am I supposed to flaunt my hair if its all packed up?”

“I wonder.”

They both laughed and talked for a while about work and other related stuffs. I looked on and shook my head to the sound of the music playing.

*****

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MIMI

The food finally arrived and we all focused attention on our orders. I was clearly relieved because I thought the orders took too long to get to us. I looked at the Spicy Jollof rice and shrimps I ordered, they were really small. I felt I needed another plate.

When I raised this concern with Lola, she suggested we eat and then ask for another round if we felt up to it. I definitely knew I was going to feel up to it, so I beckoned on Dafe and asked if I could make another order after my first round because I didn’t want to finish my food only to realize I will not be entitled to another round. I needed to prepare my stomach.

When he said, “sure why not? Feel free to order more if you are not satisfied,” I jumped inside.

It was a relief to know that I could order as much as I wanted. With that knowledge, I set to eat. Of course, I did order more because I was still hungry.

Zizi nudged me, “Mimi, why are you embarrassing yourself? It’s 1.45am and you are still hungry.”

“Zizi, allow me. It’s not everyday you get good opportunities like this, besides what has the time got to do with my order? I’m awake and I’m hungry, shouldn’t I pacify my aching stomach?”

“Lol, pacifier” Lola chirped in after rolling her eyes at me, “I will surely dig in when that second order lands just so you know.”

“Oh, I see how it is. I order and you both dig in just to make me look like what?”

They both laughed.

____________________________________

Watch this space for more Episodes of Friday Nights.

Till I come your way again next time, this is ShiozeThinksOut.

Cheers!

Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey 1

It was Friday and like every other Friday nights, I didn’t know what I would be doing after work. I mean, I was not in any fancy relationships neither was I in the process of dating anyone. In fact, I was just a tiny loser and my Friday night was just going to be uneventful as always. Even though my friends and I tried to hang out on weekends, it just wasn’t every other weekend because, well – no money.

As I sulked through my office chores and prepared to clear my table, my phone rang.

“Who the hell was calling me?” I thought as I looked at my phone screen and saw my friend’s picture beaming back at me. I was not in the right mood to talk so I ignored the call. Again, my phone rang. A second, then a third time and then a fourth.

“Hello,” I muttered in frustration

“Hello Mimi,” she whispered

“Yes Zizi, what is it?”

“Ahn ahn, this one you are talking like this…are you okay?”

“Mtschew, yes jhoor. What is it?” I asked blankly

“When are you closing from work today?”

“6.30pm. Why?”

“Come to my office when you are done, I will be waiting for you.”

“Hian, just like that! Is there a party at your office, this one you are inviting me? What is happening at your office?” I smirked

“Lol, come when you are done jhoor. My friend wants to take us out.”

“Us?”

“Yes now, you, me and Lola. I told him that I was supposed to hang out with you guys and he said I should bring you guys along so that we can all hang out with his friends.”

“Liar liar, pants on fire! Were we supposed to hang out today and I didn’t know?” I asked rolling my eyes.

“Lol, abeg I didn’t want to be alone with the guy and he has been insisting all week, so Mimi I am dragging you along. Don’t make me come to your office because I will so harass you!”

I laughed for the second time today “Lol, how did I meet you again? See I am tired, I just want to go home and sleep. Does he have money?”

“Ha, yes oo…plenty money. Ode, stop now, shebi you will come to my office when you are done?”

“Oh Zizi, come and pick me please. I swear by the life of me…I am tired.”

“I will tell your boss to sack you because I don’t understand how he employed someone as lazy as you!”

“In your face! The work I do here is amazing, beat that.” I stuck out my tongue to the phone grinning. “Okay, I will let you know when I am done.”

“Good girl and bring chocolates on your way.”

“Get out of my phone, nonsense!”

She hung up laughing and I wondered just how I got friends like her.

******

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Sure thing, the day rolled by and it was time to leave. I looked at my watch, it was 6.40pm. Shoot! I hurriedly said goodbye to the rest of my colleagues, hurried towards the elevator and just then my phone rang – Zizi.

“Hello,” I breathed “Zizi, I’m just about to leave the office, you will see me shortly.”

“Ode, shut up jare. I’m in front of your office with Lola. You are very lucky because I was just about to get a pass through to the 5th floor to come in and harass the daylight out of you.”

“Oh well, my God is still alive.” I laughed “I’ll be with you girls shortly.”

“Beautiful!”

I reached the ground floor just in good time and saw my two friends grinning at me. After we exchanged hugs and pleasantries, I looked at the both and asked, “so where to now?”

“Call an Uber or a Taxify, we are going to Lekki.” Zizi said

“Naa naa, not Uber – call the Taxify.” Lola chirped in

“Why? What is the difference?” Zizi asked

“Because Taxify is cheaper!” Lola and I responded.

“Whatever, sha call us a cab to take us out of here.”

“Wait,” I said looking at Zizi “why am I the one calling us a cab?”

“Lol, because you made us come here to get you; so you will return the favor by paying for our ride.” Lola responded.

“How is that playing fair?”

“Question for the gods.” Lola said while kissing me by the cheeks.

“Friends like this are not good for my account balance, I need new friends!”

Lola and Zizi burst out laughing as I tried to get a Taxify. “As if you can get rid of us babe, we are stuck for life.” Zizi said smiling as she hugged me.

Soon enough, the Taxify driver arrived and we headed out into the Friday night-life of the Lagos troops.

******

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We arrived at Twin waters in good time as the Taxify guy maneuvered through the building traffic all the way from Ikoyi.

“Zizi, where is he?” Lola asked

“He said they will be at Rufus and Bee.”

“Erm, Zizi but we are at Twin Waters, shouldn’t we be at Rufus and Bee?”

“Fowl!” I laughed “Rufus and Bee is inside the Twin waters building.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Sia’s club.” Zizi chuckled as we walked into the building and took the escalator to the first floor.

True enough, Zizi’s friend and his friends were at the bowling game point having a good time when we joined in.

“Hey Zizi,” the semi-tall guy hugged her, “hi…you made it. I thought you wouldn’t come.” He said laughing into Zizi’s ear.

She pulled away, smiling back. “I said I was coming with my friends and you said that was okay, so here we are.”

She pushed us forward and started, “Meet my friends, Lola and Mimi. Mimi, Lola, meet Deji; the guy I told you about.”

“Hmm, I see someone has been talking about me. Hi Lola.” He reached to shake her, “nice meeting you.”

He looked on at me “Hi Mimi,” stretching forth his palms “nice to meet you as well.”

“Pleasure is all mine Deji. By the way, your palms are so soft!”

“Thank you Mimi. These are my friends – Dafe, Jay and Elvis.” He said pointing to each one.

We all exchanged pleasantries and sat down at the cozy spot the guys picked out. Lola and I were not sure if this was a good idea or if the mix was a good mix. Trying not to show our concern before Zizi who was playing catch up with the other guys and getting to know the game, we resorted to pressing our phones.

Just then, we heard Deji say “What will you girls like to have? Should I signal the waiter to get the menu?”

Zizi looked at us while we signaled back in the affirmative with our eyes. “Yes please…let’s see what they have.” She said to him.

The Waitress took our orders and left. After a while, Deji looked at me and said “I see you are like the head of the group. Why don’t you tell your girls they can have something to eat? I doubt you just want to drink after a long Friday at the office.”

I looked at him and smiled “Oh thank you for your concern, drinks will be fine for now.”

“Okay if you say so.” He stood up and clapped at the guys “So who is winning this game? Is it my turn yet?” They laughed at him and told him he was up after Dafe.

******

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Our orders came in soon enough and I was glad for the distraction. To be honest, I needed to sleep and sitting down looking pretty didn’t cut it for me. Jay came to us and smiled, “Hey, you girls want to bowl with us or what?”

Lola and Zizi smiled him away but I was going to sleep anytime and I needed the distraction, so I stood up after saying yes and decided to play the next round which was Dafe’s turn. He looked at me and asked, “have you bowled before?”

“Naa, I replied but I can try.”

“That’s the spirit girl. So let’s get you your pair of shoes.”

I looked at him and he pointed at his feet. I suddenly noticed that everyone bowling had on the same kind of shoes, so I asked pointing at his feet, “Why are we made to wear these?”

“For comfort and balance on the bowling floor. It tends to be slippery sometimes, so they give you a special kind of sneaks for the game.”

“Oh, right.”

We got my size of shoes after paying for it and I headed to the bowling floor with my friends cheering right after me. After learning the basics of how to choose the right ball and how to swing my arm, I set myself in motion and swung the ball at the 10 pin target. Behold, I was able to hit out 8 pins at once, I was excited! At the second round, I hit off just 1 pin leaving 1 pin out and I just thought to myself, what a loser!

The guys looked at me and Dafe asked again, “are you sure you are a first timer in this game because you hit the pins right at it.”

“What can I say? I am just a talented lady even though I didn’t hit off on all the pins.”

I smiled back to my seat as Zizi decided she was going to play the next round. The night finally took a fine turn and we found ourselves relaxing and having fun. We played several more games from the car race to the basketball dunk to the tennis table to the dancing lights etc., and forgot that time was rolling right by us.

Just then, Lola said to us “Guys, are we not going home today? It’s already 11pm oo.”

“11 what?” I asked as I looked at my wrist watch and looked back at Zizi. “Zizi what’s up? We have to go oo. These guys don’t look like they are going anytime soon.”

“Yikes, I totally forgot. Let me talk to Deji.”

******

Lola and I began to wonder what to tell our parents and how these guys would somehow convince us to stay the night playing and partying. True to our words, Zizi returned with Deji and Elvis.

“Hey girls, you want to go home?”

“Yes,” I replied “we didn’t plan to stay out Deji, I’m afraid.”

“Come on, the night has not even started and you girls are yet to have a proper dinner. Can’t you call home and tell them you may not be coming till tomorrow?”

I sighed as I looked on at Zizi and Lola who clearly were waiting on me to say something. “I don’t know Deji. I mean we didn’t pack extra clothing and stuff. How are we supposed to stay out?”

“Is that the only problem?” Elvis chirped in “I can arrange something for you girls to wear tomorrow. Toiletries, we can buy them on the way.”

Lola started grinning and I looked at Zizi who seemed to not be considering the idea. “Well” I started “I can call my mum and tell her I’m with Zizi and I won’t be coming home but I don’t know if Zizi will like to stay out, so look on at her.”

Zizi looked at me like she was going to kill me and Lola, as she tried to smile it away at Deji and Elvis who were waiting for her answer. “Okay fine, so where will we stay?” She shrugged.

Deji laughed, “At my place of course, I have a large apartment and two extra rooms I never use, so feel free.”

“So it’s settled then?” Elvis asked.

“I guess.” Lola responded.

“Right, so where were we?”

“Something about food…” I said.

“Oh yes, let me get the rest of the guys and we will head out to where we can have dinner.” Elvis answered walking away with Deji.

******

“You people are not serious oo” Zizi started.

“Who invited who?” Lola asked.

“You are really mad I swear.” Zizi continued. “What is wrong with you people now? We barely know these guys!”

“That makes all of us Zizi.” I replied opening my palms to the air. “Let’s just try to have fun and look out so that nobody poisons our drink and food or try to rape us.”

“As in eh.” Lola laughed.

“All right girls, let’s get out of here!” Deji’s voice echoed and so we all left the building with us riding in Deji’s Mercedes Benz SUV while the others drove their own separate cars.

_________________

Watch this space for more Episodes of Friday Nights.

Till I come your way again next time, this is ShiozeThinksOut.

Cheers!

 

Ten Things I would do If I Become President…

So I was just on my own, when a colleague of mine asked me this question “I am kind of conducting a poll and I will like to know…what would be the one thing you would do if you became the President of Nigeria?

I looked my colleague, half thinking that at least, this could be some trick question but alas it wasn’t. So after thinking, I thought to write up a post in response to the question.

Here are 10 things I would love to do for my country if ever I became the President. I know that they may be hard to achieve but they are genuinely what I pray any president would at least, think of to do.

So here goes:

  1. First, I would re-model the Educational Curriculum in the Secondary schools: I believe that kids in Nigeria are made to study irrelevant stuffs, way too much than they should.  In Primary schools, kids will be taught the 1999 constitution and history of Nigeria. I would put in place a system where kids go to secondary schools where they can pick up their interests right from day one [whether it be flying, reading, making inventions, solving arithmetic, discussing political issues, understanding the human body, creating new designs, dancing/acting, talking, building things, writing, learning new languages etc.] The common entrance exam will be a test of the kids natural and true interests – activities the child would naturally enjoy and then excel in. When the kid is graded based on his/her interest, he/she will be given schools of choice that accommodate such interest and the parents will determine which of the schools to pick based on their pocket. Of course, I would naturally need the assistance of a bright educationist to achieve the right curriculum.
  2. I will build a water dam in the six (6) geo-political zones to help generate access to electricity 24/7.
  3. Then, I would put in place Social Security Numbers for every member of the Country: I believe that we need to get this SSN to enable us identify each and every Nigerian citizen who will get a Tax Identification Number [TIN], enable the government verify where they work and live, and then give them access to state WIFI and Light, give entitlements where need be [to certain age groups of course] and in turn, provide the adequate protection and security.
  4. Also, I would stop people from driving personal/private cars on week days, let them commute on a designated bus instead and drive their private cars on the weekends and public holidays. I would use this as a forum to encourage drivers and conductors that they need not be touts but can also be professionals in their fields. So in this bid, I will create several kinds of buses for school kids and professionals in the Banking & Insurance industry, Legal Practice, Aviation Sector, Real Estate development, Trade Sector, Business Men/Women, Police Men/Women, Judiciary, Political Field, Entertainment Field, Market Women/Men etc. The drivers and/or conductors will be professionals in Driving practice and will be treated with utmost respect. An Agency will be created to regulate their activities, tickets will be sold to each bus with timing and bus-stop locations. This will reduce the anyhow parking of cars on the streets, encourage walking [which is a good exercise], causing traffic commotions and so much cars on the road on official working days.
  5. I would build viable ports and buy lots of ships and ferries to encourage water transportation which will be cheap and accessible to all who require it. This will also help with the Nigerian Maritime practice, the sailors we have in Nigeria who have no work here and have to travel back abroad.
  6. I will encourage the use of ‘made in Nigeria’ products and ban the importation of ridiculous items such as toothpick, pencils, pens, rice, nuts, cutleries, plates etc. I will in turn create farms with adequate machinery and  a good factory for the boys/men/women/girls in Aba creating duplicate American/UK items and tagging it ‘Gucci’, ‘Dolce & Gabanna’, ‘Fendi’ etc. because Nigerians will not ordinarily buy their products.
  7. I will put all street beggars and stray kids in the Nigerian Military Service/Nigerian Army – they are better off there rather than begging on the streets and creating nuisance. The country will make better use of their agility and because they really have no one, they will be better committed to doing what they ought to do – to serve and protect the nation.
  8. I will create a Police Academy where all police men/women will be taught the use of logic and clear thoughts, proper defense mechanisms, act of proper investigative ability, code deciphering and use of forensics in any crime scene.
  9. I will make the National Youth Service optional for youths in the country but compulsory if you wish to engage in any public service for the Country [i.e government work]. If they decide to so engage in the NYSC scheme, they will be required to join the police Academy for 3 months of their service – scrap the camping activities in various states. They will also be made to travel round the states in the Country for 6 months to learn about the diverse cultures and heritage – this will assist them to settle in any state where they are deployed for the public service they wish to engage in. The remaining 3 months will be spent in apprenticeship of wherever they desire [of course, they will receive entitlements and benefits].
  10. Lastly, I will re-introduce the Kobo and make items affordable. How? I will put the Naira and Kobo on the Forex reserve and with the help of brilliant Economist, make the economy stable. All locally made items will be sold at an affordable rate [the manufacturers will get adequate benefits to encourage more locally produced goods] while imported goods will be sold at a far higher rate because of the payments made at the customs and excise duty [the rates at the customs will be made to discourage unnecessary imports into the country].

There. I have a lot of things to say but I feel these are urgent and necessary [my opinion].

What do you think about my list? Do you have better things you think I should have said?

Please feel free to share your comment on what you think is really lacking in Nigeria.

Cheers!

“…RANDOM THOUGHTS…”

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So I sat down today and started thinking of several things. How would life have been if certain things were put in place or certain things were to happen? How would we have been able to live life without totally been ashamed or embarrased of some certain things? Would we have been courageous enough to go around when certain things happen to us? Okay, enough of my ramblings; let’s start imagining.

fairytale

Let’s imagine that you were in a public gathering; say a conference meeting with reknowned officials or a church service or a Group interview or a BRT stand or even inside a bus or anywhere PUBLIC! and suddenly you feel your tummy rumbling, releasing gastro-intestinal gas and then your buttocks feel the immediate urge to release air [fart as we call it], and then because you cannot hold it any longer; you indeed release poisonous air for the public to perceive.

I know what some of you might be saying; “what do you mean? Pollution is a free gift of nature, why hold it in?”

do not

I know right…but just imagine that before you release that fart, your butt needs to fully expand and so you need to stand or arch your waist so your butt faces up [that’s if you were seated] and then do the pollution which will automatically make your entire face “GREEN”. That would then send immediate signals to everyone around you so they know you did it. In that circumstance, would you just smile it off or cover your entire face with a paper-bag to avoid been caught “green-headed”? Buahaha…

farty      green head

Let’s imagine again that you went to visit your lover for the weekend, or the entire day or just to spend some quality time and somewhere along the line, you both kissed or made love or did both; and then you had to go home. How would you feel boarding a private cab or a public bus when you lips are all out, showing infact that you had been kissed…

[Nb: the more/deeper the kiss, the longer the lips and if you decided to french kiss, then your tongue will just keep wagging. This will usually last the entire day] or would you request your lover to drive you home to avoid been seen and stay home till the symptoms are all gone [but then people will see both of you together on the road and know exactly what you two have been doing…HA]? Would you go home to your parents after you had made love [Nb: The signs will be all over you, your cheeks will be entirely pink and flushed, even if you are black and your hands and body will be entirely blue]?

saggy

Let’s assume now that as a girl, you were seeing your period and going out would mean that everyone out there would see your red legs because trust me girl; in my imagination world, your legs will be entirely red for the 5 days’ you were to see your period. Would you go to school, work, market, or even church or would you rather stay at home till the 5 days’ period is all over to avoid been caught “red-legged”?

red leg

Let’s assume again that something happened to you and you just had to lie, maybe to cover up for someone or impress someone or get something done for you or to avoid implicating yourself or for whatever reason you lie for and after doing that, you entire body begins to vibrate and everybody knows for sure that you are lying [Nb: the more you lie in a day, the more your body vibrates. This will usually last till the entire day is over]. Would you still lie?

Now imagine that you were the kind that loved all kinds of food; infact let’s call you a foodie, and you happen to attend a three-course meal/five-course meal dinner party/event; it could be a wedding anniversary/reception, a birthday dinner, a house-warming ceremony, a hotel launch or whatever and you were allowed to eat as you liked!

Would you be brave enough to eat so much knowing fully well that the more you eat, the more rounder/slimmer you get for that day and probably your clothes won’t fit at that point [Nb: Different food species with different implications. If you were to eat boiled or fried foods i.e. rice, chips, moi-moi, semo, meat, fish, chicken etc., you would be round but if you were to eat baked/natural foods i.e. cake, salads, fruit salad, ice-cream, cookies, barbequed fish, grilled meat, KFC kindda chicken etc., you would be slim]!

fat    round

Okay this is going to be the very last, I promise. Let’s imagine together that you were the kind of man that was very aggressive; who would beat up his girl-friend, lover or wife for whatever reason and after beating her up, your entire hands become white [even your arms and shoulders], your eyes become all black, your eye-brows all gone and your breathe permeates a certain kind of stinking odour for the entire day, would you still beat your lady or if you would, would you be audacious enough to go out to face the public?

black man   eye

[Nb: Even if you saw your lover at night go for dinner at night, lie at night, beat her up at night, the consequences will usually last for 24 hours, so it would spill over to the next day till the 24 hours is done.

POSER: What are your imaginations like or if you were to imagine stuff as this, what would you imagine? Share them with me if you have any funny imaginations…cheers!