Tag Archives: Relationships

Relationships: What kind of love is too much to handle?

Have you ever felt like you were not loved enough by the one person you truly admire or have you felt that they loved you too much and you can’t return the favor?

Have you felt that everything that the person does should or ought to revolve around you or have you felt that the person ought to give you some space?

Have you ever felt that the words coming out from the person’s mouth are utter false lies and sugar coated words that does not bare deep down in your soul or have you felt that you hear the words too often you are afraid you will hurt the person?

Have you ever felt that gut feeling that tells you, you are not the only one in their life and just zip up before you go haywire or have you felt that you are the only person in their life and you are afraid they will go insane if you leave?

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CREDIT: Google

To what extent then, should you love – even when your heart is bursting with all the emotions and you can’t keep calm? OR To what extent, should you not love so that you don’t give off the wrong vibe?

To what extent, should you hide your true desires just so that in the end you don’t get hurt? OR To what extent, should you accept their love and try to let them know you don’t love them as much?

To what extent, should you not expect or hope for things, just so things do not go south? OR To what extent, should you go, to let them know not to expect so much from you because you can’t love them just as much?

To what extent really, can you compromise on this love thing?

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CREDIT: Google

These may seem like a lot of questions but I was going through a poem a friend of mine wrote yesterday and I just had these many thoughts in my head. So here is my own fantasy tale:

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CREDIT: Google

Just when you think that there is nothing called love, someone comes by your door and teases you with a piecemeal offering of it – you try to neglect it but the person is persistent. So you finally taste it, it feels so good but just when you return to have some more, the person (who was standing by the door) you finally offered a chair, is knocking at your neighbor’s door – so you sigh and close your door, knowing fully well that you have just lost your chance to what might or might not be love.

As you try to move on, the person comes knocking again and this time you open fully wide, hoping that it will stay – at least for a while and it does. You feel good, very good and you begin to want more without really saying it because you don’t want it to go back to your neighbor’s door or any other neighbor for that matter. So you lock it off and smile.

The person looks at you sometime later and asks to look outside your compound for a bit, you oblige because love does not possess. It wanders around looking at the beauty outside and you wonder what is taking it so long to come back inside, so you peep through the window and see how happy it is alone outside. You want to join in, you wish you could but you don’t want to take the first step because you think it should acknowledge your presence and take you there too, so you writhe in pain – waiting, hoping, desiring.

It never comes and somewhere along the line, you close your door to stop the dust from coming in since it has been open for too long. You look out again from your window and wait a while, still watching. It still doesn’t look at you, so you shut the window in anger because you are tired of looking and you tuck yourself underneath the duvet, fighting back the unshed tears.

As you begin to sleep peacefully after days of counting the ceiling over and over, you hear a knock on your door but instead you open your window and see the person standing outside, cold and hungry. You pity it but resolve not to open the door and rather create a shed by the window where you pass out warm blankets and a hot meal. You want to let it in, you want to hold it but you are not quite sure it will stay and you have a huge lump somewhere in your throat that makes it uneasy to ask the brooding question – so you keep quiet and watch it eat instead, as it smiles at you wondering why you spoilt the door – because that is what you told it happened to the door – at just the short time it was not around.

You look at it, hoping that it will get the cue to at least repair the ‘broken door’ from outside to come in or ask how it can fix it for you but it doesn’t and you just smile. You wait for it to sleep as you look at it smiling, singing; once it closes it eyes, you count to twenty and silently say goodbye as you shut the window forever!

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CREDIT: Google

When do you know when to draw a line in a relationship? What kind of love will you consider toxic to you? When will you know that this relationship is too much for you to handle? When should you pull out? What kind of love is too much for you to handle?

OR

Is it rather worth it to have a conversation with your partner even though the signs are clear? Is it really true that there is nothing too much for one to handle?

Let me know your thoughts as you drop your comments below – you know I love to read from you.

Thank you for stopping by!

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Relationships: Heartbreaks – Pins & Needles?

The toughest part of letting go, is realizing the other person already did! Because it is funny how when someone says they love you, you can’t really feel it because you hardly think you love the person back but when they say they don’t love you anymore, you can then begin to feel every ounce of what was drained out of your entire being. Really amazing!

Do you ever understand this feeling of tingling? This feeling of numbness, quiet and then gradually pain and grief? Yes, that is the situation with pins and needles. Should I liken it to a heartbreak? I think so. Because the worst feeling is feeling unwanted by the person you want the most.

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Recently, my friend was heartbroken and I could not but feel all the empathy I could for her. She was in a place of grief. A place of numbness. A place of pain and terrible heartache. I watched my friend struggle to sleep and breathe. I watched my friend cry over and over again. No amount of my cheerfulness could cheer her up. I saw that it was best to let her cry out her grief; for there could be a million reasons why she should have just given him up, but the heart will always want what it wants.

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I was upset. I was livid. I was furious.

How does someone make you so vulnerable that every other thing around you makes no sense without them? How do you build your life around someone so much so that when they pull free, everything in your world crumbles to dust? How do you not want to eat so that you can at least stay alive for the next great amazing thing that might happen to you all because someone has left you? How do you struggle so hard to breathe because you have cried so much even your body cannot take it anymore? How?

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This was the exact situation of my friend and I struggled hard to try to make her smile, to say the least. It seemed like all my efforts could not get to her at a certain point. She refused to eat. She could not sleep. She was always absent minded, sometimes I would worry how she went about her day at work. She would ignore all calls, all texts and all chats, waiting and hoping that ‘he’ would call or even text. He never really did. The only time he called, it lasted for barely two minutes and my friend was more distraught, I wished he had just not called.

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Sometimes I try to understand the concept of a heartbreak and how it causes severe heartaches that leads to crying for more than a week. Like how do you not feel hungry for more than a week? How do you not know what it means to smile for more than a week? How do you not know how to talk on the phone because you are constantly tired and worn out from crying your entire body out? Just how?

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I don’t want to go about the sordid details of how the man in her life broke up with her via phone over a silly misunderstanding or how he could not have come to see her to iron things out maturely after over two and a half years of their being together. I remember her considering several options like being a nun or even travelling to see him or joining the ministry for single women [Lmao]. It was hilarious but I could tell she was being serious because really, only God can heal a broken heart.

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Two days after my friend kept crying and sleeping, I realized the only thing I could do to aid her healing process, was to be there for her and hold her close till she was okay to move on with her life; because truly, her life still laid bare in front of her and moving on was just the best option. We can try to forget what hurt us but we can never forget what it taught us in the long run.

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Whilst I agree that it is sometimes okay to cry over spilt milk especially the one that may be hard to get, I also hold the opinion that the quicker you move on to clean the spilt milk, the faster your chances of getting another glass in your hand no matter where it will come from. The question to ask yourself really will then be, who was I before they broke my heart? Did I like that person I was? Does this teach me to learn from this experience and be different?

So, I have some questions I need to ask…

  1. How do you really allow yourself to be vulnerable to someone that the mere exit of their presence in your live turns you to a vegetable?
  2. Why do people develop heartaches from heartbreak that spans over a week?
  3. Why do people realize after a heartbreak that the person who just pulled free was right for them all along that it only took the heartbreak to realize that fact?
  4. And really, why do people break up with their partners [long-time standing] for some mere issues that could easily be settled with proper communication and understanding?

Have you ever experienced an heartbreak? If yes, how did it make you feel? Did it feel like the end of the world to you and was there anything you could have done to bring back that partner? Looking back at it, was there anything you wished you had done differently?

I would love to read your comments below on the above issues.

Thank you.

Image Credit: Google

Relationships; Should you talk about that Ex?

An Ex is a term of the past and really should stay there…it has no business being in the future or even the present. So why then do people feel that we should talk about that Ex to our new partner or even tell a dirty little secret that has really lost its’ fire in our lives and really makes no sense anymore, when in all honesty it MAY destroy this new fire that has built up a space in our lives? – Shioze

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Hi guys,

So I have been wondering and thinking a lot and I want to know your thoughts on these issues…

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There are times in your life when you just want to totally give in and do all the things you never really thought would be worth the try. There are those down moments in your life when you think that life should have served you a better plate. There are those times when you actually believe that for once, you maybe deserve better and even more and so you set out to it – doing the things you never thought you would do, going on that fabulous date with that one man you have always assumed would break your heart but you are now just willing to try out the spark that has refused to leave your chest and then the date turns out to be more than just a date; it turns out to be something amazing, something regular, something promising, something lasting, something that you know you DEFINITELY want, something that your gut feelings tell you is the right thing and without a doubt, you plunge yourself fully in, giving it your all.

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Then comes the deal breaker! The head tie that has housed a lot of worms begins to loosen and you see yourself in some sort of trap. In some sort of mess. That Ex you thought you had buried somewhere, out of nowhere begins to suddenly manifest itself out. That spouse of the married person you once dated begins to appear every time you go out with your boo. That one night stand you had on a crazy night out with the girls begins to rear out its’ ugly head. That dirty little secret you never shared with anyone begins to smile at you from behind and you begin to ask yourself, ‘to whom have I done any wrong?’

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You find yourself between telling your new boo about your ugly past or burying it so deep in sand that it doesn’t see the light of day. You begin to deliberate on why you should inform this new boo. Why should you let this boo know about something that doesn’t even matter anymore and will just spoil the good thing you have at the moment? Why should you even disrespect them by being honest with a bittersweet tale that has long been forgotten? Why should you even bother about letting them know? Why now? Then, you start to act weird and strange. You start to dodge your calls because that Ex won’t leave you alone and has suddenly started calling you again. Because that one-night stand has come to town and just wants to see you again. Because every gifts or strange number looks all of a sudden suspicious. You start to lose sleep. You start to lie and cover up simple nothings. You start to fuss and your new boo is worried about this your new strange behavior.

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How would you really go about telling them the truth? Is this something that you even need to tell them about? I mean, they don’t know what you did and will never know unless and until you tell them. Is it a wise decision to even tell them about it seeing that it may change the way they look at you or perceive you?

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Please dear friends, what would you rather do?

Would you rather bury that ugly past that you think is a closed chapter in your life or would you rather tell and face the consequences?

If you would tell, how will you go about telling? Is it worth it at the moment to be honest about these things that, oh well, really don’t matter?

What if the past comes to hunt you and you stand the chance of losing that boo forever, will you succumb to honesty and tell?

Really, what would you rather do?

I will love to read your thoughts on this.

10 Signs That You Might Be a Cat [Cee-C]

Hey guys, so with the on-going trend of controversy and drama going on in BBNaija 3 – tagged Double Wahala 2018, it is no doubt that ever since the show this year began, Cee-C, [our cat for purpose of this post] and Tobi has been on everyone’s lips.

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If you don’t watch the show, at least you would have heard or read people’s nagging about the duo on social media via either Twitter [being the most current and active], Instagram, Facebook and even whats-app.

It is even assumed that Madam Cee-C has locked Tobi up in a bottle somewhere in her luggage and the Yoruba Demon Association of Dapper Men [YODADAM] have painfully denied that Tobi is a member of their prestigious group.

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Now with further ado guys, here are Ten [10] signs that you are actually a cat [Cee-C].

1. You are secretly judging people all the time and guilt tripping them into feeling that they did something wrong to you. No matter how much they try to apologize, you remain irritated.

Tobi Begging Cee-C

2. You always like people begging you no matter the circumstance as you are always right. However, you hardly forgive as they come begging right back the next day for the same offence. You are always the Jury and the judge!

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3. If you had it your way after any argument, your job would be to nap without a care. Your Partner must join you because they will have no choice. You are the cat and they are the mouse. It’s your perfect game-plan.

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4. You prefer to be left alone regardless of how the other person feels. You prefer to ignore the other person’s emotions and your job is to constantly curve making them feel they are dumb. Of course, they are…why else are they with you? Love? Pfft!

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5. You are constantly angry and aloof for no apparent reason. Your partner just needs to stay loyal at every point in time. They are not allowed friends other than you and they are to nod at your every word.

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6. You suck at making decisions. To love or not to love? You hate to show your partner how much you desire them but you hate any other person doing that in your stead. You always want your partner to touch you but you don’t understand why you should touch them back or reciprocate the feeling. You kind of hate PDA even in private. Sigh.

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7. You are always hungry and wanting people to feed you. Even if they cannot feed you, you want them to always be there while you prepare your meal. You don’t care if your partner has other things to do. Once the cat is hungry, the mouse just has to stay put.

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8. You are constantly on the look out for what your partner is up to. You hate when people look at your partner with deserving eyes. Your jealousy is 250% over 100% and you do not even care to hide it from anybody.

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9. You are possessive and never give your partner breathing space, even if it means suffering yourself. Your partner dares not stray far off. The cat keeps watch on the mouse after all, innit?

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10. You will hurt anyone who care to stand in your way and that of your already suffering partner. He can only be yours and nobody else! Yes, that is right and anything that tries to put asunder will be striked!

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There, you have it. Ten signs that show you might or are even a Cat [Cee-c]. Oh and by the way, Temitoria wrote something like this on her blog post here. Just click to read.

Do you agree? Please leave your comment in the box below. Thank you for stopping by.

Enjoy your Friday.

My cousin has grown without me…

Yes, you read right.

So about a week ago, it dawned on me that everything was moving and nothing was waiting on me. I mean, did I really expect ‘them’ to wait on me? Lol. I know how many of us don’t keep frequent touch with our family relations except the ones that we think really matter; like our parents, our direct siblings, our parents favorite siblings and maybe three (3) to five (5) cousins plus some nieces and nephews but I try to, even though I have tons of them because my heart is bursting from too much love for them.

My story? Well…where do I begin? I have always been a lover of anything family – from my parents, to my siblings, to my uncles and aunts, to my cousins and my nieces and nephews. I mean, I grew up around family, I breathed family, I lived family, I wore family, need I say, I did everything family.

What happened? Truth be told, I am not exactly sure if I want to share that part which is very much a long story and will mean me baring my heart out but I want to say that I did my fair share of the job – which was keeping in touch as much as I could. However, life reared one of its’ ugly head and stepped in the way.

It so happened that while I was growing up, the family brand I grew to know and love, started fading away. I lost my family relations to their different school activities, their own childhood friends and colleagues, their own spouse and family, or to their various jobs. So in as much as I tried to keep in touch with no positive feedback, I started getting exhausted.

Little did I realize that time was moving at its own pace, leaving me behind with my family worries. Recently, one of my cousins graduated from the university and when I saw the post on Instagram, I was very happy but yet sad. I was happy because it was a step to bigger things for that cousin of mine but I was sad because I realized that I did not even know this cousin of mine who had grown up without knowing me too.

This cousin of mine that I did not know had grown to be something amazing and beautiful, a source of inspiration to others, a source of joy and a role model to many younger ones. I was foremost ashamed and really hurt that we do not know ourselves as much as we should have. I don’t know why I was but I just was.

I called up my brother who ought to be closer to this cousin of mine than my very self but he was wowed and excited by the fact that our cousin had graduated [how the years had run by] and promised to call up this cousin of ours in a bid to send his warm congratulations.

I know some of you may say…’hey gurl, it’s not that serious‘ but I think it is.

Family is something worth celebrating and every special moment that they have should be something happy for every other member of the family. So be it a wedding, a baby delivery, a birthday celebration, a naming ceremony, a matriculation, a school graduation, a first class celebration, a job promotion, a special appointment, an anniversary, a home warming event, a funeral or even a memorial…family should always be present.

Now I know everyone has a different definition of who they term family and I do not disagree with your opinions, I for one would and still think that one’s direct cousins should be a part of this list. We should grow in as friends, strengthening the family bond we already share – I think this is one thing the Hausa man knows how well to do.

However, I will not end this post without properly congratulating my cousin, even though we grew apart, on the university passing out.

Congratulations darling…I know that this is another step to a greater path you have chosen and  I cannot be more grateful to God for letting you go through your University years with His grace surrounding you and His mercies. I believe that you have grown to be a strong-minded, intelligent, good and well-rounded person and I cannot but stop here to wish you extremely well in your further life endeavours. I love you, always and forever. Cheers to a new phase in your life and I pray for many more good things to come your way.

 

KITCHEN SQUABBLE ‘2’

love fyt

Laye looked away as he shook his head, he brought out the sieve and placed it in a bowl inside the kitchen sink. He grabbed the kitchen napkins, placed it on the pot handle and proceeded to rewash the beans. I just stood watching him because I couldn’t be part of his beans parboiling.

“That beans is not going to be soft, its’ just going to end up half-cooked.” I nagged as he continued washing

“Just stand and learn babe…this is how to cook beans.” He grinned those nasty jaws at me

“Yeah, mr. chef! Have fun.” I replied boiling and wanting to hit him for referring to me like I was a child. Who said I couldn’t cook beans? So his method was the best acceptable means? “Mstchewww!” I hissed

He placed the beans back in the pot and added more water. While we waited for it to get softer, I asked him if he was going the add the green vegetables on the counter and he stared at me like I was a ghost.

“What? Why?” He looked shocked

“Well, they are good and they have vitamins.” I shrugged

“No, thank you. Keep them for stuff like soup babe, not beans. Haba!”

I opened the tin tomato I had previously brought out and mixed it with the onions and tomatoes I had cut previously. I didn’t notice Laye looking at me mouth agape

“What is it again?” I asked spreading out my hands beside me

“What are you doing?” He screamed at me “Why in heavens’ sake are you mixing tin-tomatoes with the onions and tomatoes that we want to use? What is wrong with you? Does this look like we are making jollof rice?”

I was confused. I mean, is adding tin-tomatoes to my beans bad again? People do it and I do it, and the beans always taste nice, so why was he shouting at me?

“Is that why you are shouting? I add tin-tomatoes to my beans by frying it in the palm oil after I have bleached it and mix them all together. You should try it, its’ really nice.” I said

“I can’t believe you!” He marched on to the shelf and picked a large bulb of onion and began to slice it. I watched him wash three baby tomatoes and slice them too. He totally ignored me when I passed the bowl containing the tin-tomato mixture.

“Keep it in the refridgerator. You can use it later to cook whatever you want.” He said as he stood by the sink washing the knife he had just used.

Well then, I should have just stayed in the living room. Why ask that we cook together if it was going to be like this? I mean, he was literally cooking everything by himself without even adding my opinion, why did he then invite me to the kitchen? I thought.

“I’m in the living room” I muttered as I began to move away

“Why are you leaving me alone to do the cooking?” He asked looking at me as he sprinkled in the onions and tomatoes

“You don’t need me here for anything, besides I want to watch ‘jara’ before it ends” I whispered tired and scared at the same time that we may enter into an argument. I really don’t know how to fight and besides I have no strength to even do that, so I quietly began to walk away.

“You always make up excuses to run away from something you don’t want to do. I asked that we make beans together and instead of helping, you’re running away…”

Ha! This man has some nerves sha. Can you imagine what he is saying? He doesn’t need my help obviously because he is Mr.-know-it-all and here he is admonishing me

“How I’m I running away? I’m just going to the living room.”

“Then who is going to fry the plantain? Me?”

“Well, I don’t know how you intend to fry your plantain so I don’t want to spoil anything. I advise you make it yourself since my hands are not good enough.”

“Are you saying that you can’t fry plantain? Please, help me open this knorr cubes.”

“No…” I started as I picked up the cubes and began to open “I’m just saying I may end up frying it too brown that it may decide to look burnt in your eyes and you wouldn’t want that now, would you?” I replied smirking my lips as he squeezed the cubes into the boiling pot.

“Why are you so…I don’t know”

“Laye, just deal with the meal yourself. Infact, I’ve lost my appetite” I walked out of the kitchen feeling irritated.

After a while, he walked out of the kitchen and grabbed me from where I’d been sitting on the sofa.

“Laye, drop me down. Laye…” I squealed

“Look at your tiny self…who’s angry at who?” He asked laughing that deep masculine laugh I had fallen in love with “So you think you’ll just say you’ve lost your appetite and I’ll let it be? No way babe, food is ready and its’ for both of us!”

“Laye, this is not funny, just drop me down.” I said frowning.

He began to tickle me all over as he laughed into my hair. “Oh my baby, what I am to do with you?”

“Drop me jhoor.”

“Only if you agree to eat what we made.”

“We made? Nah, that was just you, I share no part of it.” I said defiantly

“You wish…” He carried me still and dropped me byy the dining. “Here we are Mademoiselle Ehis, Sit please?”

“Laye, I’m not hungry” I said folding my arms, I just want to watch tv and sleep

“Ehis baby, stop this jare. Is it because of that kitchen squabble? Come on…we’re bigger than that.” He kissed my forehead and pushed me to seat as I rigidly obliged pouting with my legs on the dining seat and my knees pressed to my jaw. “That’s my baby” he smiled as he sat opposite me and said a word of prayer.

We ate with me still trying to feign annoyance as he watched me smiling. Funny enough, the food tasted so nice but the pepper in it made me quiver, I was tempted to ask for sugar.

“Sugar?” He said looking at me

“Yes please, help me with it.” I said lip-tight

“Whatever for Ehis?”

“To sprinkle on my beans.” I said half-smiling knowing he was going to reprimand me again.

“I can’t believe I fell in love with you” he said as he stood up to get me the sugar “You are really insane.” He finished with a smile

“Yeah, I know” I smiled as I sprinkled the sugar on my beans knowing fully well that he was watching me.

“That doesn’t change the fact that I love you.” He grinned as he leaned over to peck me on the mouth. I took a spoonful and stretched out my hand to feed him with my beans.

“Never!” He screamed “I’m not eating that poison, have fun babe.”

I laughed out loud “One man’s poison is another man’s food.” I responded as we continued eating.

KITCHEN SQUABBLE ‘1’

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I’ve never been the kind of girl to cook meals for her guy. I mean, I don’t even usually have a guy so why should I have the habit of cooking for him whom I have not seen in the first place? However, I met Laye and then all that changed. I started cooking for him and vice versa. He is a greak cook I must say, so that challenged me even more. I’ve never been a person to create gourmet meals. Yeah, I can successfully follow a recipe, but I wouldn’t call myself a great cook.

Very early in our relationship, Laye and I ate a lot of pizza, Chicken and mashed potatoes [He makes mashed potatoes exceptionally well & his grilled chicken, my God!] I also could bake cup-cakes and biscuits, so there was that. Somehow, I perfected homemade Owo soup which I had learnt from my aunt and Laye’s sister because they loove to eat it with starch and it quickly became Laye’s favorite meal made from my hands…until the beans porridge fight.

I mean whats’ the big deal in cooking beans? Why does anyone have to make such a big fuss about how beans is cooked? Whether its’ wet with too much water, mashy with a good amount of water or its’ dry from so little water, how does it even matter? Whether it was cooked with palm oil, Vegetable oil, or no oil at all, are we still not eating beans?

Laye gives me so much of a headache when he talks about how he loves his porridge beans. Let me remind you that one of his favorite meal is beans and plantain with pepper stew and I just hate pepper!

One saturday afternoon, he decided he wanted to eat beans and asked that we cook the meal together. Now I know you all may be wondering why we are staying together but really, we aren’t. It just happened to be one of those days I visit him on my weekends off at the hospital and spend some ‘lone times together.

Back to the story, I thought cooking together would be fun since this was my first time of doing it with a guy I was intimate with. So we picked out the shafts from the beans together and he washed off the dirts while I prepared the pot as I put on the gas. I then asked what he intended to do next since it was his idea in the first place that we cook.

“You tell me…what should we do?” He looked at me pin pointedly

“That’s what I just asked you.” I retorted

“I know but I want to do it your way, so?”

“Okay…erm, why don’t we wait for the beans to get soft a little and add some greens and veg’ after we’ve cut them?”

“Greens? What greens?” He moved his neck to get a close view at me

“I mean sweet corn, onions & Tomatoes.”

“Okayy…why sweet corn?”

“I don’t know, because I like them and they taste real nice in beans too.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” He scoffed as he moved to the lower cabinet and brought out the palm oil and set it on the counter, still looking at me. “We are not making fried beans babe, its’ porridge beans and plantain.”

“I know that, did I ever say it was fried beans we were going to make?”

“Well, you’re talking about sweet corn, I don’t know what to think.” He said shaking his head.

“Haven’t you ever heard of beans and corn?”

“Yeah, I have but not sweet corn!” He rolled his eyes at me as he chuckled

Ha! He’s even rolling eyes at me just because I mentioned sweet corn, I bet he’ll turn upside down if I mentioned sugar. I laughed at the thought. He looked at me squarely.

“Whats’ funny, why are you laughing?”

“Nothing!”

“Really, are you laughing at me because…”

“Hey mister, please don’t even start. I should even be the one getting pissed. You asked for my opinion and then rolled your eyes at me without taking due consideration of what I said.” I said as I put my hands akimbo

“Okay fine, I hear you but we are not putting sweet corn in the beans I’m going to eat. Maybe you can add it to your share when its’ out of the fire. Lets’ think of who will wash the beans again before we add any other spice, shall we?”

“Wash the beans again? why?” I asked bemused.

“Why? Don’t you parboil your beans?”

I looked fixedly at him wondering why in heaven’s name we had to parboil beans that we had already washed and I had added salt to before adding any other spice. “Huh?”

“It’s advisable to rewash your beans to remove the chemicals’ in it.”

“Are you not washing off the protein in it?” I asked perturbed. Why do people always do this? I can’t bear to have this argument again with Laye over whether beans should be washed again or not. I’ve had my fair share of arguments with my mum, my sister and my aunt, not Laye again.

“No, its’ almost the same thing you do when you want to make moi-moi.”

“No, its’ never the same thing!” I responded almost too quickly “Moi-moi is different from this, it wasn’t on fire.” I know some people who just grind the beans without peeling off the entire back of the beans, they usually just wash to remove sand and stuff but some wash the beans till it becomes white but I don’t ever think its’ the same condition with this beans on fire.

PS: Please someone come and take Laye ohh. This is way not funny.