RELATIONSHIPS: WHY DO I HAVE TO CONDONE A CHEATING PARTNER?

Disagreements are fine, disrespect is not! Distance is fine, disloyalty is not! If you cheat on someone that is willing to do anything for you, you’ve actually cheated yourself out of true loyalty.

Last night, a friend shared a flyer for a paid 2 days intensive whatsapp class and the topic read ‘How to Stay With a Cheating Man – Cheating can be Managed in Relationships and Marriages’ and I kept wondering, why will I want to pay to attend a class to learn how to stay with an unfaithful partner?

I was shocked and seriously perturbed about the normalcy of the issue as well as how people were actually paying to attend the class on Instagram. Because why does someone want to learn how to stay with a cheating partner? Why do I have to learn how to manage cheating in my relationship? Just why should I have to do that?

Is it now hard to stay faithful in a committed relationship? Is it difficult to be disciplined in my relationship? Is it a struggle to sacrifice the want for others and focus only on my partner?

If the answer is yes, then why am I in a committed relationship? Why have I put someone else in a relationship where they will have to manage me because I am unfaithful? Why do I want to eat my cake and have it?

What happened to being honest and transparent? What happened to telling my significant other that I cannot stay in a committed relationship because I am likely to cheat on them? What happened to not even confining myself to having a significant other, so that I can cheat as much as I want? What happened to integrity?

The fact that cheating has become a globally and widely accepted reality is making me cringe on the inside. The entire nation is filled with cheating partners and liars! We are easily swept away by huge amount of money flashed at us, nice body curves, and beautiful nonsense! It has now even become a household discussion that people just discuss in passing. You hear people say, ‘well, they can cheat for all I care, just don’t let me catch you’ OR ‘as long as they respect me, it’s fine’ OR ‘as long as I am number one, then it is okay’.

My goodness! My thoughts don’t totally convey how disgusted this entire thing makes me feel. How low have we all aspired towards to the point that we are willing to accept anything, willing to manage, willing to overlook, willing to stay just because? What does self-esteem mean to us these days? Are we really saying that it is okay to be trampled over by an unfaithful partner just because we’ve come a long stretch? Are we really saying that they can be unfaithful because at the end they are not perfect? What exactly are we trying to rationalize here? I DO NOT seem to be getting it! You can forgive but it doesn’t mean you have to be silly while at it; it doesn’t mean you have to condone the nonsense.

What I do know however is this; I will not and will never stay with a cheating and a lying partner! I will rather be on my own for my own peace, and sanity.

If my partner does not understand what commitment and being intentional with someone means, then it is really above me.

If my partner does not understand that to respect me and our relationship is to NOT cheat, lie, be dishonest or be unfaithful with matters that concern our relationship, then there is no reason to be in such relationship in the first place!

If my partner does not understand the value of integrity, then there is no need for me to be there.

If my partner’s moral compass is blind to these issues that can ultimately destroy trust in the relationship, then is there a real reason for me to be with that partner in the first place?

And for that I say, there is no managing anything! If I wanted to be managing, I would manage to not be in the committed relationship and stay in an entanglement with people. This way, I can openly do what I like without anyone calling me a cheat or a liar because they would know then that I am an open commodity goods, free for any user that was pleasing to my eye and satisfying my raging wants.

I believe that people that go into committed relationships should never have an excuse to cheating or being unfaithful because that would be selfish. And when it does come down to it, they should be ready to own their acts and say yes, I did that!

What do you think?

Because i am outspoken, i am rebellous?

The older generation and our parents will always say ‘I didn’t kill my parents so you will not kill me before my time!’ OR ‘I am talking to you and you are talking back!’

I think they did not properly understand the difference between respect and fear, they felt it both ran together and that we the millennials & generation Z are just been wayward, rebellious & disrespectful.

‘Shioze

There is a thin line between rebelling and speaking out your mind quite frankly (being outspoken). To be a ‘REBEL‘ is to revolt, to resist/refuse authority and rise in opposition against a theory that does not sit down well with the person. To be ‘OUTSPOKEN‘ is to speak one’s mind freely, frankly expressing your opinion especially if they are shocking or controversial.

Now people can be outspoken and rude/blunt or just plain honest without sugarcoating the truth or their thoughts about something. It doesn’t make them a rebel. It just means that the person is either rude, candid or controversial.

The average Nigerian parent in the ’90’s did not seem to understand that. They mostly felt that as a youngster or as their baby, you only had to listen to them and say yes to their every command because that was what they did at their time. They did not understand what it meant for a child to be blunt or even controversial.

It was uncommon to ask questions, seek clarity or even require an answer based off on an instruction given to you. Your simple duty was to obey and should you not be capable of being obedient, then there was definitely something wrong with your brain. And that was that!

If they had to beat you to take away the mental problem they thought you had, they would do it.

If they had to take you to church for confessions with the priest, then they would do it.

If they had to compare you with Mr. Okoro’s children and scold, berate you for being fool-hardy, they would so well do it.

Whatever it took to make you obey, they would do it till you – their child, had been tamed to be proper in speech.

What they often said was, this child is becoming very rebellious. I ask you to do something and you are asking me why? I tell you to go somewhere and you are asking me the purpose behind your going there. I tell you not to touch or do something and you are questioning my motive. Would I as a parent lead you wrongly? Will I do something that I knew would be bad for you? This child is becoming wayward and too rebellious. It must be that friend down the street or the child at school that is influencing the way my child is reacting to me. It cannot be the same child I raised with my two hands. Sigh!

They would say weird things like –

• Don’t eat with your left hand, it is an abomination. It is disrespectful! If you asked why, they would have no answer. Till today, I don’t know why I was told not to do this. It is still an abomination…pfft.

• Don’t talk when eating, you will choke to death. If you asked how, they will say the food will get stuck there when you talk. What they failed to understand is that you can actually talk whilst eating, you just shouldn’t talk with food in your mouth, Two different things, two different outcomes.
• Don’t study theatre arts, it is only for wayward people. if you asked how come, they will give you examples of failed actors but refuse to acknowledge that it’s not only acting in movies that make up theatre arts or how filmography, producing & acting is grossing a lot of money.
• Don’t carry an afro or make dreadlocks, it only makes you irresponsible. When you ask how come, they would stutter and say which rich man did you see with an afro or dreadlocks? The list is endless…

What they did not realize was that, asking questions, seeking clarity, been a bit curious, also helped us, to clearly understand where they were coming from, what they were thinking and why we had to do what we were asked to do. It gave us an opportunity to defend what we were doing or asked to be doing should it come down to it.

We unfortunately are not the regular bunch of kids that they seemed to know from the ’80’s. We are outspoken and proud to be just that and no, we are not rebels, we are only seeking clarity!

Have you ever been called a rebel because you were outspoken? I’d love to know.

Relationships: SHE FORGOT HER EAR-RINGS AT YOUR PLACE?

_{They say a man is always sorry only when he is caught but they never said anything about how you could figure out if he is truly sorry for actually doing the act or just sorry that he had been caught! ‘Shioze’}

It has to be something! There’s got to be something going on! It cannot be that simple! We still don’t get it! Are we overreacting? Is there something wrong with us?

Because how does a lady forget her earrings at a man’s place? How does it happen that a lady forgets an accessory that so well adorns her at a man’s house?

Was it a sleepover? If it was, what kind of sleepover was it and why did she not wear her earrings back home the morning after? Sleepover with him alone or sleepover with multiple friends? Did the other friends forget something at his house too?

Did she bring multiple earrings to his house? If yes, why did she bring multiple earrings to his house? It’s not like she is the girlfriend of the man, so what informed her decision to carry with her multiple earrings?

Did the earrings fall off her ear at a point in time during the visit? What made the earrings fall off? If it actually fell off, she would have known to pick it up and wear it back. If it fell off mistakenly, then probably one should have fallen off. Do the both earrings fall off at the same time? So why didn’t she wear it back? What kind of activity was she engaged in that the earrings fell off?

Was it an intimate activity that suggested maybe the earrings should be pulled off and kept aside till the activity was over? Was it a friendly activity that suggested that the earrings be pulled off and kept aside for a while? What sort of friendly activity was that? Was it a godly activity that involved cleansing and suggested that the earrings be pulled off and kept aside? What activity was it?

We are confused!

Okay, let’s assume for a split second that nothing is going on. Let’s stop with the overthinking already and assume the earrings had a bad hook and they fell off. Let’s assume she was laughing so happily her body was shaking and the loops fell off her ear, why didn’t she pick them back and wear them immediately? Or why didn’t she put them in her bag if she didn’t feel like putting them back on?

The real question then becomes, why THE HELL did she forget or ‘deliberately’ leave her earrings at his place? Why the hell did she need to send a text to inform him that she was coming over to pick up the earrings she forgot at a later date? What kind of earrings did she wear that were either so forgettable or so precious that she had to make a return visit to get them?

The only answer to this is – she is his girlfriend and she has such rights to do so! OR maybe she’s just a close friend and only God can help us when we overthink.

See, it’s not that complicated after all. Mystery solved. Viola! At the end, there’s not only black and white, there can be shades of grey too.

What do you think?

Musings: This Thing called Men

It is amazing how fast we grow and how things quickly grow stale. My experience with men has been quite a hustle and I must say, it has been so for quite a long long time. When I was young, I never really needed anyone…flirting around and making love was just for fun but those days are gone!

It is also amazing how you constantly find yourself wanting that dream in your head to just come true and be real but this life just won’t hand you what you ordered.

So one time, I met someone and he felt like a scene from one of the storybooks in my head. I went close just to be sure that he was the same scene and yes, he definitely was. He tasted like caramel on our first kiss and somehow, I felt life had cheated me on my servings because it wasn’t quite enough or I didn’t taste it quite right, so I made a mental note to be very clear on my next order. We connected like a magnetic attraction and his body was perfect…I was sure I would be in love soon. It was just a five hour meeting but it felt like it was five years the moment he told me he wanted to wife me. We connected on even the littlest things, it was crazy. We had the same birth date, we had the same profession, we had the same OCD behaviour, loved to have dogs as pets, we came from the same town and even shared the same color as a favorite! And then just in that short moment…I realized he was proud and arrogant, and thought that things should follow a certain pattern. He thought that being conservative was key and that I was being too flashy. He looked at me and thought that I knew too many men and that I was always being too flirty. I tried to make him understand that they were like family and that we had a kind of understanding that made us feel like siblings and even comfortable in each other’s skin. I told him we had spent a long time together in friendship, embracing each other’s hurt, laughing and growing and learning. He thought I was being stubborn and that I didn’t want to heed to his advice. So I apologized and made a mental note to forget him. He wasn’t worth  my attention, if he was planning to change me to suit him. This thing called men and their air of pride! So came crashing the five hours of love I had just felt.

Again, I met someone and this time as well, he felt like a scene from my mind’s book. I flipped the pages and hoped that the scene would go away with the flip but it just stayed same in the next chapter and so I let it. He was warm as the sheets and hot as a burning coal. He tasted like my favorite ice-cream mix – just the right amount of alcohol and cream to keep me happy and excited – I knew he was danger from the start. Our bodies enjoyed each other and constantly kept meeting at every curve. We were like two peas in a pod, feeling empty without the other. There was no other thing that existed to me outside of him. We would spend hours and hours together and it would only seem like we spent a couple of unsatisfactory minutes, the weekends would go by in a hurry and then we would have to face reality all over again. Thinking about him would bring a flush to my cheeks and tears to my eyes. He was the only melody I wanted to hear but four months after, I got ready to pack my bags out of the situationship when he wouldn’t stop saying that he also wanted to have other girls but keep me as first. I thought ‘why do I have to share them with you’? So I told myself I wasn’t going to settle for less! This thing called men and their greed! So came crashing the four months of sweet haven.

Years later and I am still meeting men, the ones who love me and the ones that I love back. The ones who want me and the ones that I want as well. The ones who only lust after my body and what it can offer their three – five minutes need for satisfaction and the ones whom say God has definitely told that I am their wife! One thing stands common, men are selfish and want to have it all. But I look at myself and wonder, ain’t we all selfish? It doesn’t have to be for the same reason but one way or the other, we have had reasons to be selfish, I mean…think on it.

PS: I found this post lurking in my drafts since May 2018 and for the life of me, I am wondering how come I TOTALLY forgot about that first man! 

The Begging Child

Tell me please…how is it that you speak so well but move in the suburbs?

Well, I go to school and sit by the window listening to people speak.

What exactly is your story little one?

If I start to speak out the words describing exactly how I feel, how we feel, how it feels, we may spend the week here and perhaps the weekend too. However I am obliged by my mates here to give you just a sneak peek of how we survive here daily, how we live just for the day with no hopes of a tomorrow because truthfully, our tomorrow never comes — we only have today.

We come from diverse neighborhoods and estranged homes but somehow we all found a family in each other. I am here with my elder sister — who is autistic and my kid brother. Our poor parents died a very long time ago of some strange illness and our villagers sent us away saying we were possessed. My siblings and I found our way to the big city after several weeks of trekking and eating raw plants in a bid to survive.

I thought that after coming to the big city, my elder sister will become normal once we saw the ‘Man that God sent to Earth’ so that she can take care of my brother and I, but I think my sister’s faith was not strong enough and because she did not believe, she remained as she was. And so I was left with the responsibility of taking care of us.

I cannot start to tell you how many people tried to sell us when I approached them for food and shelter for myself and my siblings and how we always kept running every single day to avoid their angry-money wanting hands but I can tell you how we finally found a home, a home where we all understand each other — this home where you are now looking at all of us.

It was one heavy raining night — when the city of Lagos had gone to bed and people like my siblings and I had been chased out from under the bridges for a cleaner Lagos without nowhere to go. I was very cold but more so, I felt pity for my sister who did not understand what was happening and was crooning behind my brother for warmth, constantly tugging at his shirt. In that swift moment of desperation, I cut my long skirt in half and wrapped her with the half of it hoping she would leave our brother alone but she kept clinging to him. I looked at them with tears unshed as I prayed silently for the heavy rain to stop. There was no way we could find a shelter with the kind of rain that was blowing sand and dirts into our mouth and faces. We ran around looking for shelter in abandoned stowaways and market sheds but at every turn we made, someone else was already occupying it. My kid brother must have seen something because he started running and I grabbed my sister’s arm and ran with him wondering what must have triggered him. Suddenly he stopped, looked at me and shifted back. I knew what that meant, so I stepped forward and walked into the shabby uncompleted building and created a shelter for us all. It was not a covered shelter but it was a place where we could hide by the corners and rest our heads till the morning with the rain still falling on us.

I must have slept off for too long because I felt someone jab me by the stomach, quite intrusively. My first instinct was to fight back but as I opened my eyes, I suddenly closed them because the light shining down at me was too much. I realized it was morning already as I looked up at the young lad who had jabbed at me. I quickly stood up and smoothed my skirt saying ‘I’m sorry, we will leave now,’ as I bent back to wake my siblings.

“Let them be.” I heard him say to me. “Who are you?”

“Nobody,” was my instant reply… “we are not meaning to intrude. We will go now.”

He kept quiet as he watched me wake up my siblings, telling them that we had to leave. I didn’t realize that he had two others standing with him way up in the opposite direction until one spoke out… “they are clearing the streets because of the elections and locking up people like us. Stay for a day before you set out with your people, it is not safe out there today.”

I turned to face who had spoke and saw a young girl just like me looking at us. Suddenly, I realized there were so many peeping eyes from several corners of the building looking at us. I held my siblings closer not sure what next to do. “Please, let us go. We meant no harm.”

“We mean no harm too. We are just like you but we have made a home here, and you are welcome to join us after today. Stay and join us for the morning food. The younger boys have gone out very early to get the scraps that the Akara women and the buns seller at the junction feeds to them. It is usually enough for us all to manage till the evening when we all get back from the daily hustle, only that today’s hustle will be different because of the elections, so the girls may go out in the afternoon with some of the boys to see what food they can hustle and I and the older ones will go out later tonight to help with the night meal till we resume work tomorrow, hopefully.”

I looked at them in pity wishing that I could help them all, and then realizing that I was also in the situation, I offered to help. “Can I join the girls in the afternoon…I am sure I will learn from there.”

“Take today off and rest. You will need it for tomorrow, hopefully when we start work proper. Get used to the system here. What should we call you?”

“Oma.”

“And the people with you?”

“My sister, Blessing and my brother, Osas.”

“Welcome home, Oma.”

That was how I made a home and we grew together in friendship, making sure that we took care of each other at every turn while on the streets hustling and begging and making sure that the 35 of us all returned home safely. That was two years ago.

We used the money from our begging spree to start the business of buying and selling but only three weeks ago, the police arrested Stanley, the head of the house because he was hawking at odd hours. I tried to go with the second eldest to beg the police to release Stanley but they would not listen to us. We pray for him everyday hoping that one day, he will come back to us. We are trying to raise money now to get him out and so we are more merciless with our begging.

Just in case you see me running towards you or towards your car, please remember to put some money in my bowl, it is for Stanley’s bail.

Relationships: What kind of love is too much to handle?

Have you ever felt like you were not loved enough by the one person you truly admire or have you felt that they loved you too much and you can’t return the favor?

Have you felt that everything that the person does should or ought to revolve around you or have you felt that the person ought to give you some space?

Have you ever felt that the words coming out from the person’s mouth are utter false lies and sugar coated words that does not bare deep down in your soul or have you felt that you hear the words too often you are afraid you will hurt the person?

Have you ever felt that gut feeling that tells you, you are not the only one in their life and just zip up before you go haywire or have you felt that you are the only person in their life and you are afraid they will go insane if you leave?

CREDIT: Google

To what extent then, should you love – even when your heart is bursting with all the emotions and you can’t keep calm? OR To what extent, should you not love so that you don’t give off the wrong vibe?

To what extent, should you hide your true desires just so that in the end you don’t get hurt? OR To what extent, should you accept their love and try to let them know you don’t love them as much?

To what extent, should you not expect or hope for things, just so things do not go south? OR To what extent, should you go, to let them know not to expect so much from you because you can’t love them just as much?

To what extent really, can you compromise on this love thing?

CREDIT: Google

These may seem like a lot of questions but I was going through a poem a friend of mine wrote yesterday and I just had these many thoughts in my head. So here is my own fantasy tale:

CREDIT: Google

Just when you think that there is nothing called love, someone comes by your door and teases you with a piecemeal offering of it – you try to neglect it but the person is persistent. So you finally taste it, it feels so good but just when you return to have some more, the person (who was standing by the door) you finally offered a chair, is knocking at your neighbor’s door – so you sigh and close your door, knowing fully well that you have just lost your chance to what might or might not be love.

As you try to move on, the person comes knocking again and this time you open fully wide, hoping that it will stay – at least for a while and it does. You feel good, very good and you begin to want more without really saying it because you don’t want it to go back to your neighbor’s door or any other neighbor for that matter. So you lock it off and smile.

The person looks at you sometime later and asks to look outside your compound for a bit, you oblige because love does not possess. It wanders around looking at the beauty outside and you wonder what is taking it so long to come back inside, so you peep through the window and see how happy it is alone outside. You want to join in, you wish you could but you don’t want to take the first step because you think it should acknowledge your presence and take you there too, so you writhe in pain – waiting, hoping, desiring.

It never comes and somewhere along the line, you close your door to stop the dust from coming in since it has been open for too long. You look out again from your window and wait a while, still watching. It still doesn’t look at you, so you shut the window in anger because you are tired of looking and you tuck yourself underneath the duvet, fighting back the unshed tears.

As you begin to sleep peacefully after days of counting the ceiling over and over, you hear a knock on your door but instead you open your window and see the person standing outside, cold and hungry. You pity it but resolve not to open the door and rather create a shed by the window where you pass out warm blankets and a hot meal. You want to let it in, you want to hold it but you are not quite sure it will stay and you have a huge lump somewhere in your throat that makes it uneasy to ask the brooding question – so you keep quiet and watch it eat instead, as it smiles at you wondering why you spoilt the door – because that is what you told it happened to the door – at just the short time it was not around.

You look at it, hoping that it will get the cue to at least repair the ‘broken door’ from outside to come in or ask how it can fix it for you but it doesn’t and you just smile. You wait for it to sleep as you look at it smiling, singing; once it closes it eyes, you count to twenty and silently say goodbye as you shut the window forever!

CREDIT: Google

When do you know when to draw a line in a relationship? What kind of love will you consider toxic to you? When will you know that this relationship is too much for you to handle? When should you pull out? What kind of love is too much for you to handle?

OR

Is it rather worth it to have a conversation with your partner even though the signs are clear? Is it really true that there is nothing too much for one to handle?

Let me know your thoughts as you drop your comments below – you know I love to read from you.

Thank you for stopping by!

Free Education for Homeless Children

Ever heard about 1000 helping hands?

The child education and empowerment charity – Destiny Trust, has stated that most of the children in urban centers who have no home, will not have access to education despite government’s free education policy; unless deliberate efforts are made to address the peculiar problems they face.

The programme Manager, Oluwaseun Abimbola, stated this in a Press Release announcing the kick-off of the charity’s annual crowdfunding campaign “1000HelpingHands” to support school enrollment and reintegration of out-of-school children in homeless settlements around Lagos.

According to him, “children become hard to reach with the opportunity of free education when they don’t have a home. We must pursue initiatives to address child homelessness and ensure that children displaced from school environments are reintegrated into school. From our work, we find that a vast majority of out-of-school children of school age in communities we work with, were once in school. Some of them dropped out of school because there was no stable home environment through the years of basic education. Some lost home in squatter settlements during urban gentrification and were displaced from where they go to school. With repeated experience, they lose motivation to go back to school in new environments because they are not sure of how long they will be there.This demography will continue to raise illiteracy statistics if nothing is done to address the issues. Consequently, efforts to fight child illiteracy in Nigeria must be taken seriously in securing a stable environment for children to grow and get basic education”.

Through #1000HelpingHands campaign, the organization is calling attention to the unique problem the homeless children face and asking members of the public to support the #1000HelpingHands fundraising campaign, so as to put more out-of-school children in school and assist those who may have dropped out of school to go back to school this September 2018.

With donations from the public, the organization provides basic school needs to children, ensure they are enrolled in schools around them and support under-resourced schools that admit the largest number of children. The organization’s intervention has been in slums and poor communities around Lagos. The organization also runs a residential learning and rehabilitation center which provides home accommodation to children who are either orphaned or who have no responsible guardian or parent.

Some people out there have joined in the 1000 hands and have started donating to this cause so as to help the kids out of school get back to school.

As a well-meaning member of the public, you are invited to support this cause as well as make up the 1000 hands by donating, sharing this information and encouraging people within your social network to donate, in order to give the opportunity to more children to be educated with the collective contribution.

Donations can be made by direct transfer or cash payment to the Trust’s account:

                   Account Name: The Destiny Trust Projects

                   Bank: Guaranty Trust Bank (GTB) PLC

                   Account Number: 0209963873

OR through a safe online payment platform available through the link https://paystack.com/pay/1000Hands

Join the cause for free education for out-of-school kids and be a kid’s helping hand! Your donations will go a long way and no amount is too small.

Thank you.

Relationships: Heartbreaks – Pins & Needles?

The toughest part of letting go, is realizing the other person already did! Because it is funny how when someone says they love you, you can’t really feel it because you hardly think you love the person back but when they say they don’t love you anymore, you can then begin to feel every ounce of what was drained out of your entire being. Really amazing!

Do you ever understand this feeling of tingling? This feeling of numbness, quiet and then gradually pain and grief? Yes, that is the situation with pins and needles. Should I liken it to a heartbreak? I think so. Because the worst feeling is feeling unwanted by the person you want the most.

Recently, my friend was heartbroken and I could not but feel all the empathy I could for her. She was in a place of grief. A place of numbness. A place of pain and terrible heartache. I watched my friend struggle to sleep and breathe. I watched my friend cry over and over again. No amount of my cheerfulness could cheer her up. I saw that it was best to let her cry out her grief; for there could be a million reasons why she should have just given him up, but the heart will always want what it wants.

I was upset. I was livid. I was furious.

How does someone make you so vulnerable that every other thing around you makes no sense without them? How do you build your life around someone so much so that when they pull free, everything in your world crumbles to dust? How do you not want to eat so that you can at least stay alive for the next great amazing thing that might happen to you all because someone has left you? How do you struggle so hard to breathe because you have cried so much even your body cannot take it anymore? How?

This was the exact situation of my friend and I struggled hard to try to make her smile, to say the least. It seemed like all my efforts could not get to her at a certain point. She refused to eat. She could not sleep. She was always absent minded, sometimes I would worry how she went about her day at work. She would ignore all calls, all texts and all chats, waiting and hoping that ‘he’ would call or even text. He never really did. The only time he called, it lasted for barely two minutes and my friend was more distraught, I wished he had just not called.

Sometimes I try to understand the concept of a heartbreak and how it causes severe heartaches that leads to crying for more than a week. Like how do you not feel hungry for more than a week? How do you not know what it means to smile for more than a week? How do you not know how to talk on the phone because you are constantly tired and worn out from crying your entire body out? Just how?

I don’t want to go about the sordid details of how the man in her life broke up with her via phone over a silly misunderstanding or how he could not have come to see her to iron things out maturely after over two and a half years of their being together. I remember her considering several options like being a nun or even travelling to see him or joining the ministry for single women [Lmao]. It was hilarious but I could tell she was being serious because really, only God can heal a broken heart.

Two days after my friend kept crying and sleeping, I realized the only thing I could do to aid her healing process, was to be there for her and hold her close till she was okay to move on with her life; because truly, her life still laid bare in front of her and moving on was just the best option. We can try to forget what hurt us but we can never forget what it taught us in the long run.

Whilst I agree that it is sometimes okay to cry over spilt milk especially the one that may be hard to get, I also hold the opinion that the quicker you move on to clean the spilt milk, the faster your chances of getting another glass in your hand no matter where it will come from. The question to ask yourself really will then be, who was I before they broke my heart? Did I like that person I was? Does this teach me to learn from this experience and be different?

So, I have some questions I need to ask…

1. How do you really allow yourself to be vulnerable to someone that the mere exit of their presence in your live turns you to a vegetable?
2. Why do people develop heartaches from heartbreak that spans over a week?
3. Why do people realize after a heartbreak that the person who just pulled free was right for them all along that it only took the heartbreak to realize that fact?
4. And really, why do people break up with their partners [long-time standing] for some mere issues that could easily be settled with proper communication and understanding?

Have you ever experienced an heartbreak? If yes, how did it make you feel? Did it feel like the end of the world to you and was there anything you could have done to bring back that partner? Looking back at it, was there anything you wished you had done differently?

I would love to read your comments below on the above issues.

Thank you.

Image Credit: Google

Relationships; Should you talk about that Ex?

An Ex is a term of the past and really should stay there…it has no business being in the future or even the present. So why then do people feel that we should talk about that Ex to our new partner or even tell a dirty little secret that has really lost its’ fire in our lives and really makes no sense anymore, when in all honesty it MAY destroy this new fire that has built up a space in our lives? – Shioze

Hi guys,

So I have been wondering and thinking a lot and I want to know your thoughts on these issues…

There are times in your life when you just want to totally give in and do all the things you never really thought would be worth the try. There are those down moments in your life when you think that life should have served you a better plate. There are those times when you actually believe that for once, you maybe deserve better and even more and so you set out to it – doing the things you never thought you would do, going on that fabulous date with that one man you have always assumed would break your heart but you are now just willing to try out the spark that has refused to leave your chest and then the date turns out to be more than just a date; it turns out to be something amazing, something regular, something promising, something lasting, something that you know you DEFINITELY want, something that your gut feelings tell you is the right thing and without a doubt, you plunge yourself fully in, giving it your all.

Then comes the deal breaker! The head tie that has housed a lot of worms begins to loosen and you see yourself in some sort of trap. In some sort of mess. That Ex you thought you had buried somewhere, out of nowhere begins to suddenly manifest itself out. That spouse of the married person you once dated begins to appear every time you go out with your boo. That one night stand you had on a crazy night out with the girls begins to rear out its’ ugly head. That dirty little secret you never shared with anyone begins to smile at you from behind and you begin to ask yourself, ‘to whom have I done any wrong?’

You find yourself between telling your new boo about your ugly past or burying it so deep in sand that it doesn’t see the light of day. You begin to deliberate on why you should inform this new boo. Why should you let this boo know about something that doesn’t even matter anymore and will just spoil the good thing you have at the moment? Why should you even disrespect them by being honest with a bittersweet tale that has long been forgotten? Why should you even bother about letting them know? Why now? Then, you start to act weird and strange. You start to dodge your calls because that Ex won’t leave you alone and has suddenly started calling you again. Because that one-night stand has come to town and just wants to see you again. Because every gifts or strange number looks all of a sudden suspicious. You start to lose sleep. You start to lie and cover up simple nothings. You start to fuss and your new boo is worried about this your new strange behavior.

How would you really go about telling them the truth? Is this something that you even need to tell them about? I mean, they don’t know what you did and will never know unless and until you tell them. Is it a wise decision to even tell them about it seeing that it may change the way they look at you or perceive you?

Please dear friends, what would you rather do?

Would you rather bury that ugly past that you think is a closed chapter in your life or would you rather tell and face the consequences?

If you would tell, how will you go about telling? Is it worth it at the moment to be honest about these things that, oh well, really don’t matter?

What if the past comes to hunt you and you stand the chance of losing that boo forever, will you succumb to honesty and tell?

Really, what would you rather do?

I will love to read your thoughts on this.

Friday Nights; Sexcapades 6

Click here to read the fifth episode on sexcapades if you are just joining us…Friday Nights; Sexcapades 5

‘Sexcapades’ is the second part of Friday Nights and a continuation of the first part; Reckless Journey; so just in case you might be wondering where the extra characters are coming from, please start reading from…Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey 1

Enjoy!

______________________________

MIMI

Mortified by the sudden intrusion into our privacy, I scrambled and hurriedly put on my clothes as I watched Dafe walk towards the door.

“What is it?” He asked calmly as he opened the door lightly, standing between the open space.

“Someone is here for you from Dr. Imafidon. She says it is urgent.”

“I will be down shortly. Please attend to her and tell her to give me another 10 minutes.”

“Yes, Sir.”

I got to my feet as I tried to straighten my hair and my appearance. He closed the door and walked up to me, kissing me by the nose as he tried to grab me by the buttocks.  Shocked at what could have happened a moment ago, I smacked away his hands. “Stop it jhoor. Leave me.”

“Shut up jare, Mimi.” He said grimly adjusting the neck of my polo and putting his hands into my blouse to adjust the hem of my bra. Then he took my belt and fixed it round the loops of my denim shorts, strapping it tight round my waist. He forced my chin upwards, causing me to look at him. “Hey sexy.” He said softly, “are you okay?”

I jerked my chin away from his touch. “I don’t know. Do I look okay?” My throat burned, I was still aroused and mad and very very embarrassed. I didn’t think I would ever in my life, lose my mind like that to a complete stranger and I hated that I had done so with him; a man whose approach to sexual intimacy was so cynical, it depressed me just thinking about it.

“I know you know that I want you so badly it hurts but I have just been told I have an urgent request waiting for me downstairs. Can you stay a while so I can get done with the person downstairs? You can do whatever you want and have Stanley show you around or make you anything to eat. I will be in my private study, so don’t be bothered about walking around. Please?”

I knew I needed to get away from him; go home and take a long nap, while I think of what I was just about to do with him. Staying behind would just complicate the matter and I didn’t want to do that. “No Dafe, I’ll rather go home. Thank you for the offer.”

His fingers curled around mine, “just so you know, we are not done. I will come back to get you, no matter how many times you push me away.” He leaned to kiss me, “I will have the driver take you home,” as he walked away smiling.

I was terrified!

**************************

ZIZI

There is something I have noticed about life. Just when you think that you have everything all figured and planned out, the unexpected begins to happen!

It was 6pm and I was jittery with excitement as I finished with my make-up and proceeded to wear my new hot burgundy jumpsuit from Deji. Deji had texted an hour earlier to remind me of our date. I had rolled my eyes and stood up to take a quick shower after I read it, wondering why he had to remind me of something that sat on my mind all day. I gave myself one final look after I had worn my very sexy jumpsuit and heels. I decided to pair it up with a gold clutch purse since it matched with my pair of earrings. I looked at my wristwatch, it was 6.26pm. I shivered.

Was I ready for this?

Just then, my phone rang – it was Deji. I picked up on the third ring…

“Hey you, I’m outside.” He started, “Do you want me to come in?”

“No” I hurriedly replied, “I will meet you outside. Give me two minutes.”

“Okay then.”

He ended the call while I frantically thought of what I had forgotten to do. HA! I pulled open the dresser and sprayed a little bit of the perfume I had. I stepped out of the room and told my mum I was going out for a while, hoping that she wasn’t going to ask so many questions. She looked at me as she smiled, “Take care of yourself oo and make sure you come back in time.”

“Bye mum.” I replied smiling at her as I hurried out of the house.

____________________________

I walked towards the car with Deji standing right in front, quietly waiting. He looked good. Very good and I was impressed. He came towards me, his strides graceful and strong. He caught up my hands and lifted it to his mouth after which we shared hugs as he smiled broadly at me while he walked me towards the car, opened the passenger’s door for me and I hopped into his Range Rover Sports.

His gaze was intense. Intensely hot, intensely focused.

“Sorry, I’m late.” I started.

“Oh no, really it’s okay. At least you are here and you didn’t take more than three minutes.” He looked at me searching as amusement warmed his eyes, “you look beautiful. The dress suits you just perfectly.”

I smiled brightly delighted at his compliment. “Thank you Deji. It was really thoughtful of you to do.”

A slight frown knitted a space between his brows. “It was the least I could do.” He started the ignition of the car as he looked back at me, “Shall we?”

I nodded my head in affirmation as he drove away. I wondered where he was taking us to and I didn’t want to ask. We made light conversations on the way ranging from my hobbies to his hobbies, my passions and what I enjoy doing, his travel experiences. It was not surprising that Deji had traveled to so many countries; France, Monaco, Chicago, Russia, Malta (I didn’t know anyone traveled there).

“I’m glad I met you.” He suddenly said to me in the middle of our conversation. I wasn’t sure how to respond so I just smiled wondering if now was the time to bring up Omotayo or wait till when we get to where we were headed.

“Now that I think of it…” he glanced at me, “I don’t know your age. How old are you?”

“Is there a reason why my age is of importance?” I asked wondering why he suddenly wanted to know.

“I just want to know. I am 33 if that is any consolation.”

“Oh, wow…you don’t look 33. I would have guessed you were 29.”

“So you think I look young?” He shrugged,  “well, that is something coming from you.”

I chuckled, as I noticed him look at me again and back to the road. “So are you going to tell me your age?” He asked again

“25.”

He looked at me befuddled, “are you serious?”

“Is there a reason why I should lie to you?” I asked.

“Wow! I sincerely thought you were 28 or something. You are pretty young and mature for your age.”

“Oh, I see.” I fiddled with my hands as I looked out the window, enjoying the view of the balustrade on the Lekki-Ikoyi link bridge.

“Hey Zii…” he murmured, the vibration of his voice making me ache all over. “I really want us to work and be together.” He took my hand and ran his fingertips over the palm I opened to take in his hand, the simple touch sparking a fierce desire. The way he studied me, while we waited in traffic, made my chest hurt. He looked grateful, his eyes warm and tender.

I was mute, hoping that we get to our destination on time, irrespective of the traffic.

Four minutes later, we arrived at Lagoon restaurant in Victoria Island, where Deji slowed down and finally stopped his car by the parking spot. We walked in and went into ‘Churrasco‘. It was a very lovely and beautiful place. I wondered why I had never heard of it.

As we got to the reception, the lady smiled and asked if we had made any reservations to which Deji affirmed. She looked through her list on her system and after confirming the table for two, showed us where had been reserved for us. The ambience was beautiful and the environment was serene and peaceful. It was really a good place to laugh, eat and talk with soft music playing in the background.

Deji took my hand as we walked to our seat which was just facing the outer view. He pulled out my seat as I sat down while he went over to sit down. Two waiters came to us; one holding an ice bucket of some expensive wine and the other holding a menu. The one with the ice bucket handed it to the other waiter as he opened the bottle of wine and filled our wine glasses before setting down the ice bucket. Deji motioned for the other waiter to hand me the menu and come back later.

The two waiters left, leaving me alone with Deji. It seemed like he had reserved the entire space as there was no one else coming in to the restaurant. I took a gulp of my wine as I remembered that we ought to speak about Omotayo before anything. I didn’t want to spoil the moment but she kept coming up in my head.  I coughed.

“Are you all right?” He asked softly.

I looked at him meekly, “no Deji.”

“Talk to me about it. I am here to listen.” He stretched his hands to hold mine as he stared.

“Well, it’s Omotayo and the thought of her constantly plagues my mind. What is it with both of you?”

He sighed as he placed his palms together and held it under his jaw. He looked at me with concern as he started, “Omotayo is my ex. She was my very first girlfriend and subsequently when I relocated to New Jersey after my secondary education here in Nigeria, we thought it best to break off our relationship. Of course, I had other girlfriends back in New Jersey and subsequently at Berlin, where I started working after college. Omotayo kept in touch and we maintained our friendship. She knew I was dating other people and she was as well, so I didn’t think she had a problem with me dating other people.”

He stopped to look at me searching my face for any expression before he continued, “When I decided to move back to Nigeria three (3) years ago to start my own business, I told Omotayo about it. She was one of the closest friend I had that lived in Nigeria, so it made sense to tell her I was coming home and that she was going to take me to all the new spots that had opened after I left the country. For the first one year of my return back to Nigeria, Omotayo was my right hand man – showing me around and making sure that I wasn’t cheated by anybody. She was more like my personal assistant and for that, I will be forever grateful to her. Seven months after my return to Nigeria, she broke up with her boyfriend Daniel. When I asked her why, because Daniel seemed like a really good guy to me, she said he wasn’t the man of her dreams. I thought she was being crazy or overly ambitious, so I told her to be sure of what she wanted so that she doesn’t lose a good man over nothing. That day, I remember her clearly smiling at me, saying what she wanted wasn’t far from her any longer and that it will take a matter of months before she gets it. At that time, I didn’t understand she was talking about me.”

He stopped to take a sip of his wine. I looked at him, waiting. “Two months after that, I met Theodora – one thing led to the other and we started dating. Omotayo was mad at me. She was always warning off Theodora from me, distracting her and causing trouble. At first, I thought she was doing it to protect me because she knew Nigerian girls better until Elvis told me, it was me she wanted and that she didn’t want any other lady to take what she had suffered to build for years. I was distraught because it took me five months to realize that and that was after Theodora broke up with me, saying that I was a cheat and she couldn’t continue the toxic relationship. I tried to talk to my mum about it but my mum won’t hear of it. Unfortunately, our families are closely tied and my mum really likes Omotayo – so she kept advocating on how Omotayo was and is the best woman that could eventually be my wife. One year and two months after my stay in Nigeria, I took the courage – even after I had told Omotayo that I was no longer interested in her in the way she wanted me to be – and started dating Fisayo. Fisayo was a real catch and she was really great! We were happy together for two months and then she found out about Omotayo. Omotayo knew that Fisayo was a jealous lover, so she capitalized on it and sent her some friendly pictures we took when I first came into Nigeria through a private phone, labeling me as a cheat and calling her my side chick. Some of the pictures contained almost naked pictures of Omotayo with me at the beach and on a yacht with some of our other friends during our first re-union. How she cropped the photos to look compromising is beyond me. Fisayo got very livid and without waiting to ask me, she stormed my home one evening and destroyed my things. I am not a man of too many words and I don’t like toxic people, so I broke it off with Fisayo. I was so upset at what she did and why she would do it. She kept calling me a cheat and a fuckboy but I didn’t understand anything she was saying or what she was talking about; all I could see was how toxic she was. I didn’t even know it was Omotayo’s pictures with me she had seen that got her raving mad. I just ended it. Some weeks later, when I was calmer and ready to listen to Fisayo, she told me how upset she was when she received the pictures and why she did what she did without thinking. She said she finally got to know from Jay that the girl in the picture was Omotayo and my supposedly childhood friend whom had turned to a really close friend. She apologized but there was no way I was going to take Fisayo back, even though I forgave her. When I confronted Omotayo, she openly told me that no one was allowed to date me except herself and that we were destined to be together. I told her off, and ignored her until I met you. I didn’t believe she would continue that way because it constrained our friendship for a period of four months and she promised to stay off my relationships. We weren’t even on talking terms after that and I was clearly shocked that night when she came in to Radisson Blu. Honestly, I didn’t think it would happen.” He sighed.

I looked at him as I wondered what I had put my self into. This Omotayo babe was clearly not going to let Deji be with anyone else ad I wasn’t sure I had the strength to fight with another woman for a man.

He looked distraught, “I don’t know how she does it but she keeps stalking my every relationships and it is terribly upsetting.” He reached out to hold my hands as I pulled them away, not sure I wanted him to hold me. “Ziola, you are really someone I want to start something with and I have barred myself to you because I don’t want to hide anything from you. Please, don’t let Omotayo be a determining factor in something that promises to be beautiful.”

“Deji, this is not just a walk over. This is something I have to take my time to think about. Omotayo is clearly obsessed with you and my dating you will be an intrusion in something she has already imagined to be beautiful. I don’t have the strength to fight over a man.”

“Zii, I’m not asking you to fight over me. I am telling you the obstacles that are surrounding me and I want to have you beside me, standing strong. I will fight for you, no matter what it takes me.”

“I don’t know Deji. Girls like Omotayo are not people to play with. I can’t afford to have someone bath me with acid.”

He looked horrified. “That will not happen to you! Omotayo will never do that!”

“That is what you say but you never know the extent a woman can go to if she really loves a man and someone else is standing in her way.” I sipped my entire wine out of my glass distressed as to how I started to fall in love with a man with such a history. I hated women drama.

Deji looked at me, “are you hungry?”

“Very. After all this story you just narrated to me, food seems to be the only thing that can make me forget my sorrow Deji.”

He huffed as he signaled at the waiter to bring the food we had earlier ordered. My head kept spinning at the entire story I heard.

Was it not better to leave this man when I still had everything in my body and soul intact?

What kind of love will make me date a man who had a complicated history that could later affect me?

I was so lost in thought, I didn’t realize the food had arrived till I felt Deji caress my left palm gently. I looked towards his direction and saw the variety of dishes before me. Suddenly, all the thoughts about Omotayo vanished as I realized I was hungry. I had left my stomach empty in anticipation of this date. The three course meal was lovely and it felt like a private feast. As I chewed on the lamb dipped in curry sauce, Deji reached over and ran a fingertip over the corner of my mouth and then licked off the dab of sauce he had collected. I smiled consciously as I licked my lips.

“Do you by any chance even, like me?” I heard him ask quietly

I was weakened by his question. I didn’t want to answer it as I didn’t even have an answer to it. I looked at him with raised eyebrows as I wrinkled my nose, “I don’t know Deji.”

“Even if it is just 5%?”

“Deji please.”

“I want to know Zizi. Do you?”

I sighed as I nodded coyly. Of course I liked him, wasn’t it obvious? Why was there a need to ask?

“I don’t understand what you mean when you nod like that Ziola. I want to hear you say it. Do you like me 5% or do you like me a whole lot or do you not?”

I set down my fork and looked at him squarely, “Deji, even if I liked you…there is still Omotayo. I’m not ready for that.”

“You still haven’t answered my question babe.”

“Okay fine, I like you Deji…a whole lot.”

He smiled sheepishly for the first time and I thought he looked very cute. I smiled back. “So what do I do to make you mine?”

I swallowed. I took another forkful of my meal and looked at him. “I don’t know Deji. I clearly do not want to be involved in a mess. Fix your mess while you have the time and come back. Just know that I won’t wait for you.”

He groaned softly as he looked at me. The waiters cleared the table and Deji paid the bills. We sat a while and talked about other things before he decided to take me home as the time was fast approaching 9.00pm. When we got to the car, Deji leaned closer to me and nuzzled his nose against mine. I was shocked. He was so fast, I didn’t see it coming.

I set my hands across his chest as I tried to gently push him away. He carried me up with such strength and placed me by the car bonnet as he kissed me for the very first time. His lips was warm and tender and sincerely, I had been craving his kiss from the first day we met. I wobbled on my stilettos as Deji set me down, I was weakened from the full body contact and the instant shock.

“I like you Zizi. I really do and I will do anything to keep you. I won’t let Omotayo be the obstacle to this.” He leaned to me again and kissed my forehead as I swallowed some more spit – tears unexpectedly filled my eyes.

“Hey Zii, look at me…” he held my face and continued, “I never want to hurt you and I want this to happen sincerely and if you want it too.” He looked at me with all concern.

I nodded my head at him as I smiled.

He opened the passenger door and waited for me to get in before closing it. I sat down wondering if that kiss had meant yes. I wasn’t sure. He placed his hands over mine when he got in and said, “I had a lovely time with you tonight. I hope that we can do this more often.”

“Me too.” I smiled as he started the car and took me home.

__________________________________________

Watch this space for more Episodes of Friday Nights.

Till I come your way again next time, this is ShiozeThinksOut.

Cheers!

Friday Nights; Sexcapades 5

Click here to read the fourth episode on sexcapades if you are just joining us…Friday Nights; Sexcapades 4

‘Sexcapades’ is the second part of Friday Nights and a continuation of the first part; Reckless Journey; so just in case you might be wondering where the extra characters are coming from, please start reading from…Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey 1

Enjoy!

______________________________________________

LOLA

I left Zizi’s house by mid-afternoon heading home after she escorted me to the junction where I took a bike to the BRT station. I was walking towards the queue of people waiting at the BRT stand going to TBS/CMS when a svelte, beautifully groomed lady caught her leg by the turnstile and almost fell on me, spilling the contents of her Zara bag. I watched people dodge the chaos with mere whispers of ‘sorry oo’ as they kept going into the BRT never failing to alter their line. I winced in sympathy as I crouched to help the lady collect her now scattered things ranging from hairbrush, notepad, rouge lipstick, pens, a wallet and a few other nothings.

“Thank you” she said, shooting me a quick smile.

“No worries” I smiled back, “it happens to the best of us.”

I had just bent over to reach for her hairbrush when I ran into a pair of luxurious leather brown manly slides. I waited a beat for the man to move out of my way and when he didn’t, I arched my neck back to allow my line of sight to rise. The hairy legs shooting forth from the carton colored shorts hit more than a few of my hot buttons; but it was the tall, powerfully lean body inside that made it just sensational. Still, as hot as all that magnificent maleness was, it wasn’t until I reached the man’s face that my head began to count. Wow. Just…wow!

He was making a phone call oblivious of my presence beneath him and I still found him sexy as hell. I picked the hairbrush and stood to full length, as I looked directly in front of me to him. Hit with all that masculinity at eye-level, I could only stare. Stunned. Then something shifted in the air as he dropped the call and looked directly back at me. As he looked at me in surprise, he altered…as if a shield fell off his eyes. The scorching force sucked out the air from my lungs and the intense magnetism he exuded, grew in strength. I was dazed. Reacting purely on instinct, he shifted backwards, leaving me almost falling back down.

I was too preoccupied with staring, riveted by the man in front of me that I forgot what I was holding.

“Are you okay?” he asked looking at me again in wonder.

His voice was smooth and cultured, with a rasp that made my stomach flutter. It brought sex to my mind. Extraordinary sex. Hard back breaking, claw scratching sex. I thought for a moment that he might make me orgasm by just talking long enough.

“Why are you holding a hairbrush?” he continued. I peered down at my hands wondering why I was holding the hairbrush, forgetting all about the beautiful lady that almost fell me down. My lips felt so dry, so I licked them before turning to hand over the brush, only to find the beautiful lady also struck by him, standing like Lot’s wife.

“Are you using the BRT?” he asked again.

I felt so irritated with myself for feeling so awkward while he was completely self-possessed and in control. My brain stuttered back into full gear as I realized I hadn’t purchased my BRT ticket. He bent down to retrieve the key I hadn’t realized I dropped, freeing me from what looked to me like a provocative gaze. I was just dazzled, damn it! He glanced up at me, and the pose – him half kneeling but almost in standing position – skewed my equilibrium.

He looked to me as he stood up, “is this yours?” he asked stretching forth the key towards me.

My face heated. How convenient to appear awkward and clumsy in front of the most self-assured and graceful man I think I have ever met. “Yes it is mine, thank you.”

Looking away as I proceeded to move to the ticket sellers, I notice the others looking at us like we were a movie out of the cinema, and the beautiful lady standing still – forgetting that she was also heading somewhere. I risked a glance at the man again, finding him walking towards me. I was scared. I handed some N200 note to the ticket lady and collected my change, as I moved to join the growing queue. I noticed that he was also buying a ticket and I gently wondered where he was going to.

As the line moved, I caught my reflection by the BRT door; I was looking flushed and my eyes seemed a bit too bright. I can’t remember but I know I had seen that look before in my eyes. I tried to remember when I had ever had that look and why I seemed exactly too flush. And then it dawned on me – I had seen that exact same look before in the bathroom mirror at the club in Port-Harcourt when I was still in school, just before I had a one night stand with a sexy man I had being eyeing all night. It was my ready-to-fuck look and it had absolutely no business being on my face at this time of the day, in the open and in the very before of a total stranger. I was ashamed!

My goodness Lola! Get a hold of yourself!

Three minutes was all it took. Three minutes facing a total dangerous and sexy stranger and here I was, feeling all caught up and edgy. Horns blared and two screams boomed behind me as I realized I ought to move forward. Shouting ensued when I tried to look back, and hand gestures that didn’t carry real anger behind them waved at me to go into the BRT and allow them do same so they could go home to take a rest. I sighed as I moved unwillingly into the BRT looking frantically around for Mr. Strange and sexy just as we melded into the flow of road traffic, and then I realized he was not in my bus but was still in line for the other – a frown teased my forehead.

Ah, Lola, I thought feeling a bit settled again yet worried, you have just missed a good thing but then again, thank goodness it was in the afternoon. Only the heavens can tell what you would have done if you met him in the club!

***********

MIMI

The room smelled fabulous when I opened my eyes and Dafe was crooning soulfully at me seated at the edge of the bed. I closed my eyes and opened them again to be sure I wasn’t just dreaming and smelling things but it was the exact same thing. I looked to my right; there was an open bottle of wine on the table by the bed and two goblets, one which was half-filled with white wine. There was a large tray of what seemed like food and I was sure that was were the aroma that filled the room came from. I instantly became very hungry.

“Hey you…” I whispered at him rubbing my left palm over my eyes stretching and stifling a yawn.

“Hey sexy…welcome back.” He smiled as he poured white wine into the empty goblet and handed it to me, his movements practiced and elegant. “I thought you won’t wake up.”

I pulled out of the covers and sat up as I collected the goblet of wine he was handing to me. Our hands slightly touched and I felt ecstatic. He began to open the tray of food saying how hungry I must be after sleeping these long hours.

I stared at him. He wasn’t just beautiful…he was spectacular. He was the kind of man that made a woman want to rip his shirt open and watch the buttons scatter along with her inhibitions. I looked at him in his civilized, urbane and lush sweatpants alongside his white Ralph polo and thought of raw, primal, sheet clawing sex. I watched him grab a plate to serve me the English breakfast of pancakes, omelette, baked beans, bacon, sausages and  fresh lettuce obviously prepared by the guy I had met earlier on when we came in.

“My dad had taught me how to read people pretty well…” he smiled at me as he dumped another pile of pancakes on my plate and added extra maple syrup, “I’m sure you will be very hungry and won’t talk to me until you’ve had your fill.”

I wrinkled my nose at him as he set the plate on a bed-stand and pushed it right in front of me, “there you go.” He finished. What does he know about anybody? I thought as I rolled my eyes.

“You have something on your mind…what is it? I can see what you are doing with your eyes.” He asked looking at me squarely.

“Nothing.” I respond as I took a small gulp of my wine. I was very hungry. As I started to pinch round my plate, putting into my mouth bits of omelette and bacon, I observed Dafe staring at me. I wondered if he was going to stare at me till I finished my meal. I looked up at him, “I eat pretty slow Dafe, so would you mind telling me what it is that you have found interesting on my face or are you just going to keep staring at me for God knows how long?”

He grinned meekly, “was I staring now?”

I smirked at him as I rolled a pancake and took a large bite. He reached out to take my left hand and lifted it up to his lips for a kiss. I felt butterflies fluttering in my belly. He looked up at me, as I continued to act ignorant chewing on my lettuce. “Will we discuss why you were so upset with me this morning or should I wait till you finish your meal?”

He kissed my hand again and this time, I looked up and stared into his dark eyes. For some reason, I noticed he had very dark pupils instead of the regular brown. I was lost for a moment in the beauty of them, I forgot he had asked me a question. In that brief moment, I realized I liked Dafe. I swallowed and took a spoonful of the baked beans, sipping my wine along after which I meekly replied, “I don’t know if I am ready to say anything to you.”

He sat fully on the bed and crossed his legs facing me smiling.

“Why are you smiling at me?” I asked perturbed, “you are making my eating uncomfortable.”

“Am I?” He asked as he placed his right hand underneath his jaw and glanced at his wrist watch, “I am wondering when you will have to go for your meeting appointments now that the time is reading 1.20pm.” He opened his hands by the side, “are we going to have to push discussing why you were so upset this morning for later tonight, after your meeting appointments?”

I blushed red, even though nobody could see the color flush. I was embarrassed! I totally forgot that I had said that to him. I put my hand across my forehead and exclaimed, “Shoot! My goodness, I slept off, forgot about my meetings and now you’ve deceived me with food…”

“Is that so, I am now to blame? So how do you want to resolve the issue and is there anything I can do?”

I put a sausage in my mouth as I looked at him, “I guess I’ll have to call my business partners to find out if we can reschedule the meeting for a later time in the evening. It would have been better to have this meeting in the morning. I don’t understand why nobody has called me.” I picked up my phone and proceeded to call one of my friends as Dafe took a bacon from my plate and ate it. I shook my head at him as I ‘shuued’ him off.

________________________

“Hey,” I started when he picked up at the other end.

“Hello Mimi, how are you?”

“I’m fine oo. How far? Nobody has called me to say anything…is the meeting no longer holding?”

“Ah ahn, did you not see the whatsapp messages?”

“What messages?”

“Lol, this young lady! Simon put it on the group chat that the meeting has been scheduled to Sunday afternoon by 3pm since the sponsors said they will be available only on a Sunday.”

“Oh wow, I haven’t been online all day.  I will check my phone. Where is the venue?”

“One of the sponsors agreed that we could come to her house at Oniru. The address is on the page but you could come with Valerie since you both stay at the same place, she is going to be coming with Ikenna, so it will make it easier for you both.”

“Thank you Emeka. I’ll look through the chats right away.”

_____________________________

I ended the call just as I looked up to see Dafe sauntering towards me and a rush of liquid filled my panties accompanied with the butterflies singing hooray in my belly. What does this man want now? I thought to myself. He winked at me as he leaned to give me a peck on the cheek. “So what did he say?”

I shrugged, “nothing that concerns you.”

He took the bedside tray and placed it at the other end of the drawer by the bed as he looked back at me, “If it will take you away, then it concerns me” as he pressed his thin lips against mine. I kissed him back fervently before he let go. “How about you spend some more time here with me before you decide to go, since you are making it seem that I can’t steal you for as long as I want?” He reached out to pull me up from the bed.

“How about I spend some few minutes on this bed?” I asked, feeling naughty.

He grinned, “so what do you have in mind then?”

I let go of all my pride as I pulled him close by the collar of his polo shirt and kissed him with all the passion I felt dancing up and down my belly insides. He held my face and kissed me back with a passion that matched mine, vigorous, hard yet soft and sexy. I was experiencing bliss and sincerely I didn’t want it to stop.

He pulled away and looked at me with dark shrewd eyes, “are you romantically involved with anyone?”

I looked at him strangely, “why are you asking me that?”

“I want to know.”

I shook my head but he kept on looking at me. “No.” I finally said.

“Are you sleeping with anyone?”

The question was asked so casually, it took me a second to process what he had just asked. I inhaled sharply, “why is that any business of yours?”

He looked at me and I saw the exact same thing I saw in his eyes the first time I met him – steely control and vibrant power. “Because I want to fuck you Miranda and I need to know what is standing in my way, if anything!”

The sudden ache between my thighs had me tightening my legs together maintaining some sort of composure. I shifted back a little to give me a breathing chance, we were too close. He reached out to me but I held him at bay with my uplifted hands.

“What If I’m not interested?”

A ghost of a smile touched his lips and made him impossibly more handsome. Hey God… I’d never been so aroused. Never been so scorchingly attracted to another human being. Never being so offended by a person I lusted after – but then again, I never really lusted after anyone until now.

“What are your objections to my proposal? Tell me what I need to do to get you beneath me.” He continued

“A miracle because I find your approach very offensive,” and a major turn-on, but I was never going to admit that! I pushed back as I continued to widen the space between us.

He looked at me with narrowed eyes as he contemplated, “I agree that I could be too blunt but I am not one to tell lies and you strike me as the kind of person that wouldn’t want lies or mere flattery.”

“I think we are done here.” I stretched to grab the last sausage on my plate as I chewed on it.

“Hardly, sexy. We have established some talking points; we seem to have an intense sexual attraction to each other and rightly so, none of us wants to date the other. So you have to tell me exactly what you want and what I need to do to get you on the sheets. Seduction? Mimi, do you want me to seduce you?”

I was fascinated and tempted by the conversation. It was hard not to be while faced with a sexy and gorgeous man who wanted to get hot and sweaty with me but I found it a bit disturbing that he didn’t want to date and concluded that I didn’t want same either. Was this supposed to be a one time offer? What if he was great in bed and I wanted more? What if I was too attracted and I wanted to always be around him? “Well, sex planned like a business is a turn off for me.” I casually replied.

“I understand that but it is necessary that we create parameters now. We don’t want anyone having exaggerated expectations and then facing disappointments at the end.”

I wanted him bad but he was too much trouble for me. Honestly, I could screw up my life myself, I didn’t need any help. I pushed to the edge of the bed as I made to stand up. He stood up too and moved towards me, his eyes darkening. “Mimi, there are no mixed signals in my private affairs. I am always clear on what I want and I see you want same too, so we are on the same page. All I just need from you is your consent.”

“So this sex thing that you want from me, is it a one time offer?”

He smiled as he held my hands, “I cannot think of a good reason why I should say that it is a one time offer. Clearly I am strongly attracted to you and I am definitely sure that this fucking will not occur just once. It will have to be a repeated affair Mimi.”

“And you say you don’t want exaggerated expectations? I don’t understand you. You are asking for too much Dafe.”

“Mimi, I am not the dating type and I am not one to chain people to myself. I want this to be an open relationship. All you need do is to consent to me sleeping with you, as long as you agree to stay on the pills and I will use a condom – I cannot allow myself to catch any form of disease!”

I was upset by that statement. Do I look like a prostitute to him? What sort of nonsense discussion was this? Some men were really bastards. I strode to the door as I had no words to say to him, this had clearly gotten way above what I could handle and I was in mood to become someone’s fucking partner. I felt him move closely behind me as fast as he could and grab me by the waist. I couldn’t think of my own self-preservation when he was this close to me. I sighed. What sort of feeling is this? The fact that he had such profound effect on me while still being so damn irritating had my mind spinning. How can I be so turned on by a man whose words should have completely turned me off? Just how God?

“Turn around, Mimi.”

My eyes closed at the surge of arousal I felt at his authoritative tone. God, he smelled really good.  His frame behind me radiated heat and hunger, spurring my own wild desire. I wanted him sha. So bad but I knew he was no good, yet my body lustily craved his. “Just leave me, Dafe. This won’t work. I can’t give you what you are asking.”

“I wish I  can Mimi. I want to leave you because you look like too much trouble.” His lips brushed behind my neck as his right hand pressed itself flat against my belly. His right hand working fiercely to urge me around to face him. He was as aroused as I was, his area hard and thick against my lower back. “Turn around, Mimi, please.”

Disappointed at myself and knowing that I may regret this, I turned to face him hoping that I could quickly sit or rest my aching legs. We were so up-close, I almost had no room to breathe. The hand he had at my waist was now resting on the curve of my hips, tightening reflexively and driving me insane. He stared at me, his gazing so intense.

“Kiss me, Mimi”, he whispered hoarsely, “give me that much please.”

Panting softly, I moaned as I licked my dry lips looking at his. He groaned, bent his head locking his nose with mine as he sealed his mouth over mine. His firm lips were very soft and the pressure he exerted was gentle. I sighed as I allowed his tongue to dig dip as we tasted each other in long leisurely licks. His kiss was skilled, confident and just the right kind of aggressive to turn me further on. He growled as he deepened the kiss, tightly curved his both hands at the curve of my buttocks and lifted me up, circling my legs round his firm waist. I felt the raging beat of his heart against my chest, proof that he wasn’t just a form of my imagination.

He pulled free looking at me wildly, “I want you Mimi, trouble or not. I don’t think I can stop myself. Please.”

I was pressed, full body against him, achingly aware of his every inch, hot and hard. My breasts were tender and yet heavy. My nipples were hard and ready. My area throbbed for his attention, pounding along with my raging heartbeat. My body was literally on fire! I kissed him back as if I could eat him. I was vaguely aware of any movement and then the lush bed was beneath my back and he was on top of me. He was levered over me with one knee and his other foot was on the floor as he began to thug on my denim shorts freeing the belt. His arm gripped the back of my each knee as he pulled free the shorts and slid upwards one of my thigh in a firmly possessive glide. I closed my eyes in excitement as I giggled at the soft kisses he planted on my thighs. “Shhh,” he murmured “you are distracting me.”

He moved upwards to look at me as he kissed me again and moved to my neck, planting dangerous wet kisses. I giggled like a child as I covered my eyes with my palms. In a daze, I watch as Dafe lifted me chest up and pulled off my white polo, revealing my firm breasts cupped in my bra. I looked at him, not the least bit ashamed, as I leaned forward to kiss his cheeks. He smiled as he bent to kiss the small cleavage coming out from the brassier as he swiftly unlocked the hooks, setting free my aching breasts. I was only clad in my panties and it seemed like the only obstruction blocking my way to this happiness Dafe was proposing.

I pulled him forward as I laid back down pulling at his sweatpants. “Easy tigress. Easy!” He held my hands and circled them round his waist as he graciously sucked on my left nipples. I just couldn’t stop my giggles.

He looked up at me, “why do you keep giggling? Is that a strategy because it turns me on?”

I held myself as I looked at him, “I don’t know but what you are doing tickles the hell out of me.” I watched as he lowered his body, my legs sliding apart to accommodate the width of his hips. My muscles strained with the aching urge to lift towards him and to hasten the contact between us. He took my mouth again, lowering his head as he bruised my lips with a fine edge of violence. Abruptly, he yanked himself away…hurting my lips again as he groaned. I lay there, gasping and wet. So willing and ready and then I realized why he had reacted so fiercely.

Someone was at the door. “Shit!” He uttered as he stumbled on his feet looking at me in wild desire.

 

__________________________________________

Watch this space for more Episodes of Friday Nights.

Till I come your way again next time, this is ShiozeThinksOut.

Cheers!

Friday Nights; Sexcapades 4

Click here to read the second episode on sexcapades if you are just joining us…Friday Nights; Sexcapades 3

‘Sexcapades’ is the second part of Friday Nights and a continuation of the first part; Reckless Journey; so just in case you might be wondering where the extra characters are coming from, please start reading from…Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey 1

Enjoy!

____________________________________________

MIMI

The more you run from temptation, the closer it seems!

When my phone rang waking me up at 8.30am the following morning, I was delighted to peer at the screen and see Dafe’s number. I smiled in my sleep.

“Hello,” I started huskily

“Hello sleepy head, wake up. Good morning.”

I groaned as I rolled over to lie on my back. “To what do I owe this early call?” I asked softly

“I don’t know what you are saying but you sound so sexy, I wish I was right beside you. My goodness! Have you ever heard yourself speak in the mornings?” He grinned

“I can hear myself speak right now.” I replied wondering.

“Not like that, I mean over the phone. You should try recording your voice in the mornings when you wake up, it is damn sexy I tell you. Too raunchy for me. Now I know exactly when to call you. I think I will record this conversation with you and play it every time.”

“You are just not serious.” I smiled as I closed my eyes wanting some more sleep.

“I thought you said you had appointments you just can’t cancel last night, why are you still on the bed?”

“Oh Dafe, I need sleep!” I cried, “allow me be please.”

“Wait, do you mean to tell me that sleep was the appointment you had?” He asked perturbed.

“Lol, well yes…sleeping till 11am is part of my today’s appointment and after that I get to do the real work of meeting with real clients. Now can you please excuse us, my bed and I have an urgent meeting that should not be disturbed. Thank you!”

He laughed and for a while, I thought he was mocking me. “Dafe, please just cut the call and go away.”

“I’m coming over to your house. Pack your things, you are sleeping in my house till 11am and then I’l drop you off at the meetings you have later.”

“Huh?” I said startled as I opened my eyes fully, “no you are not coming over to mine.”

“Get ready sexy…I just got in the car.”

I looked at my phone wondering if he was insane, “Hello Dafe, see ehn…my mummy…” the line suddenly went dead. “Hello.” I said jerking up from the bed.

Heyy God, what kind of wahala is this one this early morning? I asked no one in particular. My heart began to beat fast like a drum played at a market festival. I began to hope that he was just joking and wasn’t really not going to come to my house. Tired still, I lay back on the bed as I switched off my phone.

******

I woke up to hear my sibling calling out my name from the door, “what is it Uwa? You people should allow me sleep in peace please now.” I cried as I pushed my face underneath the pillows.

He walked towards the edge of my bed and continued, “someone is looking for you oo.”

Suddenly I realized what was wrong…heyy God, this man wants to embarrass me. I slowly turned to face my sibling hoping that he won’t see my heart jumping helter-skelter, “Me? By this time? Who is it?”

“I don’t know oo. I think he is your boyfriend or something.”

I looked at my sibling in dismay wondering whether everything was okay with him. “When did I tell you that I have a boyfriend?” I asked squeezing my lips.

“Well, God has brought him right under our noses. He said he was your boyfriend and asked me to wake you up.”

I put my hands across my face as I shook my head. What did I ever do to deserve this, Lord? Is there a sin I have committed that I did not seek penance for? What is the meaning of what Dafe was doing to me. My sibling looked at me again, “he said to tell you to hurry so you can have enough time for your meetings.”

“Is mummy still at home?”

“No, she went for morning mass. You are lucky. She would have already told your boyfriend all about your history and how you need to get married.” He laughed sitting down to look at me.

“Uwa, he is not my boyfriend. Please, stop saying that.” I tried to say looking at my brother calmly.

“Well, just hurry. I don’t think you have much time by the way he sounded. What do you need me to do for you?”

Just then, my other sibling came in “Mimi, are you not ready? Dafe is waiting oo.”

I looked at Nosa in dismay. What is the meaning of all these? Why was Dafe suddenly talking with my siblings as if I did not just meet him last week? I hissed as I stood up and headed to brush my teeth. Some minutes later, I was dressed in Jean denim shorts, a white shirt and a jean loafers. I slung my black leather school bag containing my iPad, power-bank and a notepad behind me as I exited my room and ran down the stairs.

I met him having a friendly discussion with Nosa while playing video games. I wondered how Nosa was able to bond with this man. My goodness, he looked handsome! I tried to hide my smile as he turned to look at me, “Hey you…it took you forever to come downstairs. Shall we?”

I sighed as I looked at my siblings who were grinning from ear to ear. I did not understand why they were amused. I nodded my head at him as he bade my siblings farewell. He spun me around and led me towards his car parked right outside my gate.

“You have a lovely home.” He started.

I did not understand how I felt but I was clearly upset and not the least bit amused. “Thank you.”

“You look really nice.” He said again as soon as we got into the car.

“Thank you.” I replied meekly trying not to blush or even smile

He looked at me as he started the ignition, “Are you okay?”

“No.” I replied without a thought.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“Yes.” I answered looking at him squarely

“What did I do wrong sexy?” He paused on starting the car as he looked at me

“Just drive. My siblings are clearly going to be at the balcony looking at us till we move out of here.” I replied as I pouted my lips and adjusted the seat belt.

He paused, sighed and started the car as he drove out of my estate. I was already dozing off when Dafe tapped me, “we’re here sexy, wake up.”

“Oh!” I stretched lazily rubbing my palms over my eyes. That was fast, I thought, what if I had been driven all the way to Ogun state for one ritual. I looked around me from the inside of the car till Dafe came round and opened the car door for me looking puzzled, “don’t you want to come down?”

“Where are we?” I asked as I got down from the car not exactly sure where we were as the walls of the compound were enormously high you could barely see what was happening outside.

“We are at my home. Welcome to my humble abode.” He smiled as he took my small school bag from me and held my hands.

This is far from a humble abode, I thought to myself. The compound was massive and the building in it was spectacular. I wasn’t sure if we were still in Lekki or Ikoyi. I just had never seen a house this captivating except on pictures in Instagram and on TV.

“Where exactly is this place located? Are we in Lekki?” I probed.

He smiled, “No sexy, this is Ikoyi.”

Ah ha! I said to myself, big man children eating all our money. See house. I began to wonder if he lived in it alone or with the family. He must be living with his family, I thought. The house was too gigantic for him alone to occupy.

We walked into the house and were immediately greeted by a man neatly dressed. Dafe said some words to him still holding me and led me towards the stairs to a room. Words fail me. This was exactly the opposite of what my room looked like. This was magnificent and enthralling.  I was beyond dazed. I stood at the entrance for a while wondering if I needed to softly crawl towards the bed or just fly straight to the bed. The plush rug looked too soft and white to be stepped upon. I thought the room was really one of the most beautiful things I had seen. He looked at me confused, “don’t you want to go in? It is 9.52am already…you should continue your sleep before 11am.”

I looked at him in dismay, which kind of sleep. The sleep that already disappeared from my eyes the moment I heard he arrived my house or what?

I softly walked towards the bed and sat on it. My goodness…it was soft! Too soft! Very soft! I sighed in pleasure. Then I heard him say from the door after he dropped my school bag by the couch close to the bed, “I’ll let you be and then when you finally wake up, you will tell me exactly what I did wrong this morning.” He closed the door softly behind him and walked away leaving me alone in the room. I sat on the bed for a while enjoying the view, pulled off my loafers and sunk into the bed for another round of sleep.

 

**********

ZIZI

Saturday mornings are really the best. I stretched like a cat on the bed and rolled over looking at my phone. 8.50am. I think I will sleep for another 10 minutes, I snuggled under the sheets.

Suddenly my phone rang. Ohh! I cried, who has decided to disturb my sleep this morning? I roll to the other side of the bed ignoring the call as it rang again. Shit! I muttered as I reached for my phone by the drawer.

“Hello” I mutter angrily not wanting to open my eyes.

“Hello Zizi” I hear the familiar voice of my cockroach friend Lola, I hiss as I open my eyes

“Ehn, what is it Lola? Don’t you know people are still sleeping? Or is it not Saturday at your place?”

She smiled and continued, “Come on, will you wake up? I don’t know when you started being lazy. Mimi has infected you with her bad habits.”

“Abeg oo, allow me to sleep because that is the only way I can drown my work sorrows before Monday. Just let me please.”

“Better wake up, I’m coming to your house. I have gist for you!”

“Eh, gist? Tell me now, why do you have to torture me by keeping me waiting?”

“As you say you want more time to sleep. I’m giving you more time.”

“Ah, no oo, I am awake now.” I replied enthusiastically sitting up.

“Lol, Zizi just use the strength to prepare breakfast for both of us. I am going to leave my house now.”

“Please don’t bother coming.” I hiss, “I’m going back to sleep.”

“Na you sabi, I already dressed up. By the way, you called me last night…I missed your call.”

And then I remembered the very embarrassing episode of yesterday and I sighed. “Something that I wanted to tell you yesterday. You already missed out. Ask Mimi to tell you since you are too big to pick calls from me.”

“Ahn ahn now, I didn’t hear my phone ring until I got home and check my phone, by then it was too late.”

“See biko, leave me alone. That gist has long gone, if you want to hear it, ask Mimi.”

“Just prepare yourself. I am coming to your house. You will tell me whether it was Mimi that called me last night or you.” She ended the call.

I looked at my phone as I placed it back on the drawer. Lola is just a mad human being. I am not going to recount the sordid tales of yesterday night to her, let her ask Mimi.

*****

Men are like wildfires, very hard to predict.

*knock-knock* Oh, I muttered in my sleep. What is the meaning of all these? What does anybody want from me at this time of the morning? I will do my chores when I wake up proper…I turn to face the wall as I continued my sleep.

*Knock-knock* I hear again someone at my door. I hiss angrily. “I am coming.” I say as I make to stand up hoping that Lola had not come too soon.

*Knock-Knock* I hear again.

“Be patient now!” I hiss as I wear a top “I said I’m coming.” I open the door to see my mummy looking at me with a bunch of beautiful flowers held up towards my face.

“Mummy, what is all these one now? What is it?”

“My dear, these just came for you and some other things on the dining table.”

“Oh wow!” I managed to say as I walk back into my room to grab my glasses with my mummy walking in right behind me, smelling and smiling at the flowers.

“They are so beautiful!” She exclaimed.

“Mummy just drop the flowers and go. Abi you said they were delivered to me?”

“My baby, I just want to admire them. It is really thoughtful of whoever bought you these.”

“Thank you mum. Please can you go now?”

She looked at me smiling, “I hope you will appreciate them? They are really nice.”

“Don’t worry mum, if I don’t want them, I know where your room is. I will come to drop them there since I know how much you love flowers. Bye mum.”

“Oh there are some other things by the dining. Let me get them for you.” I watched her hurry out as I wonder what time Deji had to buy me flowers from last night to this morning. He was really thoughtful and I didn’t need a soothsayer to tell me it was Deji that sent the items. I looked through the flowers for any card or paper attached to it, there was none. Disappointed, I put my nose into the bunch to smell them. They smelled really nice. I smiled. Just then, my mum walked into the room with three fancy paper bags. Wow, I thought, this guy never ceased to amaze me. My mum stood sheepishly looking at me until I kindly asked her to let me be alone. As soon as she left, I closed the door behind her and started admiring the items. On the biggest paper bag, I saw a purple note hanging just by the side. I lifted it up to see the contents;

“Ziola,

My sincere apologies for last night; I know I will not be able to compensate you for all the embarrassment caused you last night and I sure know that nothing can be enough to say exactly how sorry I am but please take these items as a token of my apology for what happened. I should have been more careful with you and I promise if you give me another chance, this would NEVER repeat itself!

Can you please be my date tonight? I’ll pick you up by 6.30pm, I promise we won’t run late and I will bring you home safely.

Deji”

I smiled as I read the note over and over again. This was incredibly thoughtful of him and I didn’t want to say no to offer. All my body screamed ‘YES!’ I looked through the contents of each bag just as I heard Lola’s voice by my door.

I stood up to open the door letting her in, as I ignored her presence and continued to admire my new prized items. Deji had gotten me two lovely office dresses and a burgundy over-shoulder jumpsuit; a 360 ’18’ inches Argentine laced wig; a very sexy Fendi Handbag with a silver plated logo engraved inside the bag and a very lovely pair of Miu Miu shoes. I was speechless. Lola kept looking through the dresses and asking me why he had bought me all the items. I decided to call him to say thank you to him and also accept his offer. I thought better about it and sent a text instead. I didn’t want to seem too excited about it. So I texted;

“Hi Deji,

I have just received your gift items to me. Thank you very much. I thought that was really thoughtful of you but really, you didn’t have to. I will go out with you tonight but only on the promise that I will get home before 8.45pm and you will tell me all about Omotayo – no games!”

I looked at Lola as she told me all the episode of her last night outing and how she met Daisy. I thought Daisy was weird. Just then, my phone beeped. It was a message from Deji.

“Great. Please can you wear the jumpsuit tonight? I’d love to see how it looks on you and yes, I promise to tell you all about Omotayo if that will make you say yes to me. I can’t wait for 6.30pm.”

Suddenly, I began to smile at Lola like a child. She could clearly tell what was wrong with me as she began to tell me what to say and what to do after I reluctantly told her my last night episodes with Omotayo. Two things ran in my head as I listened to her:

Do I say yes to Deji after tonight and be his girl?

Why did I suddenly develop feelings for him even when I know I am clearly not ready to settle?

__________________________________________

Watch this space for more Episodes of Friday Nights.

Till I come your way again next time, this is ShiozeThinksOut.

Cheers!

 

 

 

 

Friday Nights; Sexcapades 3

Click here to read the second episode on sexcapades if you are just joining us…Friday Nights; Sexcapades 2.

‘Sexcapades’ is the second part of Friday Nights and a continuation of the first part; Reckless Journey; so just in case you might be wondering where the extra characters are coming from, please start reading from…Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey 1

Enjoy!

________________________________________________________

DEJI ELIZADE

The events of tonight at Hans and Rene completely baffled me. I was beyond outrageous and livid at Omotayo for her childish behaviour. I wondered exactly what Zizi would think of me and what I needed to do to pacify her. I had wanted to have some quiet time with her and talk about us – if there was any us, now that Omotayo had pulled that stunt. I wondered what my mum saw in her or why she liked her so much. I was more than infuriated at the silly girl.

As I led Ziola to the car, I noticed that she didn’t let me hold her hands and that the kiss a moment ago was just my sheer luck.  I was unquestionably attracted to her and nothing could get her off my head. It was more like a voodoo spell had been cast on me. I appreciated the fact that she agreed to hang out with me even on short notice and I wasn’t going to let any Omotayo come in my way.  I tried to open the car door to let her in but she prevented me with her hands as she open the door herself and climbed in. I sighed as I walked round to get in the car.

It was a quiet drive to her house even though I kept trying to apologize for Omotayo’s behaviour. She did not say a single word to me or how she felt about my haywire friend – Tayo. Her blouse was stained and wet and she smelled of ice-cream even when I tried to increase the velocity of the AC. I was pissed as I drove but not without stealing glances at her, as I noticed two veins that appeared on her forehead – I realized she was angry. Of course, she had every right to be, who wouldn’t?

Is she angry with me? I wondered because she did not look at me or even speak to me. Is she angry at Omotayo and myself? Did I do anything wrong? I am also the victim here! Omotayo ruined my night with you babes…I thought to myself.

I noticed her eyes were moist and I silently prayed in my heart for her not to cry. I had never seen her so upset about anything but then again, I have never had the chance to see her reaction to anything. I wanted her to say a word to me, anything but she kept mute all through the drive and it frustrated me further. I wasn’t sure whether or not to say anything. I didn’t know what I should say or not say. I didn’t want to infuriate her further. I didn’t know what to say that was going to pacify her for all the disrespect she  had experienced tonight. She deserved a proper apology and I didn’t know what the apology was.

When we got to Bode Thomas as she earlier described before Omotayo happened, I stopped the car and looked at her for further directions as I wasn’t sure where to turn.

“Ziola, how do we get to your house from here?”

She kept on looking out the window as she spoke, “Just keep driving straight and turn left on the second turn you see. My house is the fifth house by your right.” I hoped she would have looked at me. I needed to see her eyes.

I followed her instructions and soon enough, we arrived at her house. She looked too serious as she proceeded to alight from the car and I was afraid to say anything else to her. The peculiar thing I noticed about Ziola ever since I met her is that you never take her for granted. As much as she tried to be friendly around me most times, she still wasn’t someone that could be disrespected. I thought she had a very complex personality but that didn’t change my feelings towards her or what I wanted from her.

I reluctantly watched her alight from the car without trying to stop her or say anything to her, all I could mutter was a whisper of ‘Good night Zizi‘ and hoped that she heard me as she walked away without as much as turning back to wave at me. I began to drive away and just as I peered at my rear view mirror, I saw her – looking back at me. I paused in my driving and looked back again, she was gone. Sighing, I drove all the way back home feeling sorry than I had ever felt in my entire life.

*********

ZIZI

Few minutes after I sat in the car, I sat staring blankly into space wishing I had called an Uber or a Taxify. This man was beginning to annoy me; everything about him, the incident that happened my agreeing to come out with him, in fact all the nonsense was upsetting! I thought I was going to see Omotayo standing somewhere in sight but unfortunately, she was nowhere to be seen. Such lowlife! I hissed in annoyance.

It was a very quiet drive to my house and I was not interested in saying anything to him or responding to all the apologies he kept giving me. I just wanted to take a shower and go to bed. When we got to the junction leading to my house, I wanted to come down and walk myself all the way home but I wasn’t going to let him drop me off at the junction after what his baby girl did to me. HA! No way was that happening…even though I wasn’t pleased that he finally found my house, that was the only way round it.

As I came down, I peeked at him one last time and saw his face towered towards me without an expression. I wondered how he could give no signs of showing any emotions after all that happened tonight. He was weird. He couldn’t even come down to walk me to the gate and give me a proper hug or goodbye, he just sat there whispering ‘Good night Zizi’. Eat your good night, I thought to myself. I don’t want it!

Just as he was driving away and before I fully got in through the gate, I turned to see if he was even looking but to my utter dismay, he was driving away. Pfft, good riddance! I went in, greeted my parents after warning them not to come into my room, closed the door behind me and headed straight to the bath. After my shower, I made up my mind to call Mimi and Lola all that transpired tonight. Unfortunately, I was still angry and somebody owed me an explanation.

***********

LOLA

I had carefully prepared my self for how the rest of the night would pan out. Now that Elvis’s girlfriend was here sharing the moment with us, my best bet was to be on the look out for any other person watching Deadpool 2 looking for company. There was no way I was going to sit together with this two bunch in the cinema hall. Better yet, I’ll kindly find me a corner at the back to watch my movie in peace and chew on the popcorn, hot-dog and water. I cannot come and watch two separate movies; one, Deadpool 2 and the other Elvis and his babe…no way.

As we silently made our way in to the hall, Elvis looked at me and asked, “Where do you want us to sit?”

I looked at him in surprise, what kind of foolish question is that? Why did he not ask his babe who was standing right beside him chewing like a dummy?

I pretended to smile as I responded, “Oh dear, don’t bother about me. Just pick anywhere comfy for you two. I will find a space for myself somewhere behind.”

He looked at me curiously, “Why should I not bother about you?”

I rolled my eyes inwardly, wasn’t it obvious or was he suddenly blind to the fact that his girlfriend was right between us? Fortunately for me, his girlfriend spoke out, “Stop disturbing the poor girl Elvis. Allow her to sit where she likes, how does that affect you?” She pointed somewhere towards the middle row, “Come, let’s sit there. The view will be better from that angle.” She motioned as she pulled him along while he kept turning to look at me in disappointment.

Oga, abeg shift with your bad luck. I don’t understand how your girlfriend could be right before you and you were still eyeing another woman…I thought, some men just don’t have any shame. I walked up a bit and decided to sit at the second last row towards the edge where I could be far off from them and never even remember that they existed.

Half way through the adverts before the movie started showing, I started pressing my phone replying to all my whatsapp chats and eating my hot-dog before it turned cold when a fellow young lady moved to sit besides me. I groaned in disappointment because I had hoped for a male companion, even if he wasn’t handsome. I fought the urge to carry my things and find another seat. I looked at her, she was wearing an orange crop top with mummy jeans. She was beautiful and had her hair up in a ponytail. Her cologne was strong but it smelled really nice. I thought she looked really seductive with the long artificial eyelashes on her eye which accentuated the flirtatiousness of her eyes. I looked back at my phone realizing I had been staring at her for too long.

“Hello…” She smiled at me weakly

“Hello…” I whispered just as much hoping she hadn’t noticed me looking at her.

“I don’t know how you do it but you look so good to be coming from the office.” She said leaning towards me still smiling.

I blushed, “Well you don’t look bad yourself. You look just as good.”

“I can afford to look good because I did not go to work today and I am coming straight from home.” She peered at me curiously, “or are you waiting for someone?”

I was surprised. I felt she was too audacious so I took caution and ignored her comments while I smiled.

“Oh my bad…do you need me to move somewhere else?” She continued

“Oh no, it’s fine really, you can sit here if you want.” As long as you won’t be a disturbance, I continued in my head.

She smiled again and brought out a hand, “I am Daisy. Nice to meet you.”

“Hi Diasy,” I smiled, “I am Lola. The pleasure is all mine.”

The movie started just in time to shut her up from any impending questions she had to ask or whatever she had to say as I silently chewed on my popcorn. Somewhere just in between the movie, I felt her look at me again as she asked, “pardon my rudeness but is this your hair?” I looked at he white painted finger nails pointing at my natural hair which I packed up in an afro bun.

“Yes, it is” I replied as I turned back to face the movie.

“You are so pretty.” She whispered again as she downed some contents of her sprite and plucked some popcorn into her mouth. I pretended not to hear what she said as I tried to focus on the movie. The situation was just getting awkward and I began to suspect that there was more to her which made me feel a certain type of way and very uncomfortable. Was she a lesbian? I banished the thought immediately from my mind.

Towards the end of the movie, he spoke again. I felt the need to suddenly disappear. “I really like you. I think you are nice and I will like to see you again.” She smiled at me as I nodded my head to her comment fixing my face squarely towards the cinema screen.

She pulled out her iPhone X from her pocket and pushed it towards me, “May I have your digits please?” She acted courteously yet she behaved strange.

I looked at her phone and said, “Sorry Daisy, I really may not have the time to see you again as you would wish.”

“It doesn’t matter. I will call you and we can fix a mutual time to hang out.”

I looked at her, this time as the movie had ended and the credits were rolling in, as I thought quickly of a way to deny her request without sounding too rude but none came to mind, so I typed in my digits reluctantly. “There.”

“Thank you Lola.” She smiled meekly “Friends?” She reached out to hug me.

Lol, which kind of rubbish friends. I already have my friends, I don’t need a sequel. I hugged her back pretending to share the same enthusiasm as she did before she stood up to walk down the aisle and out of the cinema hall. Just then, she turned back and ran up to me as I was coming down the stairs, “do you need a ride home?” I looked at her shocked, “we could go together.” She continued, “I’ll drop you off.”

Oh wow, she had a car. Amazing stuff. I smiled at her realizing I had forgotten all about Elvis and his girlfriend as I hurriedly told her I already had someone I was going with. “Oh…” she replied sadly as she reached to give me a peck. “I will call you later then. Be safe!”

I walked out trying to understand why a girl had fallen in love with me instead of the man I was craving for when I saw Elvis pacing with his phone in his ear muttering. I realized he was trying to call me as I digged into my handbag to bring out my phone. “She is here Elvis.” His girlfriend said to him, “can you stop acting like a mad man now?”

I almost chocked on laughter as we headed towards the car and drove away. What a night, I thought.

__________________________________________

Watch this space for more Episodes of Friday Nights.

Till I come your way again next time, this is ShiozeThinksOut.

Cheers!

 

 

 

 

Friday Nights; Sexcapades 2

Click here to read the first episode on sexcapades if you are just joining us…Friday Nights; Sexcapades

Enjoy!

___________________________

LOLA

I gawked at Elvis and his girlfriend who had just come to spoil our Friday hangout after she called to ask where he was; the one I didn’t know he had because I never cared to ask and he didn’t bother to tell me. I tried to wrap my head around this pending situation and the awkwardness I was facing at the moment being put in between the both of them trying to act all nice and goofy. I had definitely overstepped my boundary, what the hell was I thinking? And to think that he said I could invite my friends – well, that was before this bitch showed up!

Everything she did revealed that she was ratchet; I mean look at the way she was chewing her gum – inflating and deflating it like a balloon, and the tattoos on her neck and wrist – my goodness, why couldn’t she just have one? She even had large breasts. I looked at my semi-rounded chest as I tried to push them up for emphasis sake. Hers were so big, I doubt you could look at any direction without seeing them first. I sighed.

Elvis was trying to get us movie tickets but this crap of a girlfriend just kept distracting him from paying attention with her constant nagging. I mean, let the poor man breathe, jeez! I did not understand how Elvis was attracted to her, to be honest. I mean, I agree that she is very attractive and pretty but was that all he wanted in a lady?

One would think that a flashy, classy guy like Elvis would have a quintessential taste in women – sophisticated, intelligent, pretty, vision driven with warm personalities – but you all know what they say about sweeping statements. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t even know if this girlfriend of his was all that but I mean, she just looked different from the ideal woman. I mean, ever since I met Elvis, I tried to do my best to gain his attention – well, which I got until this mf arrived tonight!

I was so lost in thought, I didn’t realize Elvis had been trying to get my attention; “Babes…Yo Lola?”

“Yes…” I whispered meekly “Yes Elvis, what is it?” I asked coming back to my senses.

“Do you want to watch Deadpool 2?”

“Anything you guys pick out is fine by me.”

“Are you sure? You said you wanted to see a movie…what did you have in mind?”

That I would be alone with you in the hall, laughing and holding hands while trying to understand how you react to movies and how throaty your laughter can go…I thought but I didn’t say that instead I said, “Deadpool 2. You know it just came out 2 weeks ago and I haven’t had the time to see it.”

“Okay then, Deadpool 2 it is.” He said to the cashier at the other end, “3 tickets please.”

I put my palm on my forehead, this is definitely going to be a long night and at best, one of the worst I have had.

************

ZIZI

I knew I was doomed for humiliation when I saw Deji at the front door of my office on my way home. What the hell was he looking for at my office without telling me that he was coming? How can he treat me like this, appearing at any time he pleased, making my heart beat like I was a small child. I swallowed some spit as I continued walking towards where he was standing counting the seconds behind my every step. I should have just left a long time ago when Lola called.  I wondered what he had up his sleeves.

“Hello Deji…” I muttered weakly as I got to where he was, already standing full height facing me. This man was a real distraction and with the way I was feeling anxious, I might soon get high blood pressure!

“Hey you…good evening.” He smiled.

Why was he smiling? What was funny in all of these? The sight of him wasn’t even helping me at all. I was damn tired and I just wanted to get rest – at home.

“To what do I owe this unpleasant surprise?” I asked looking tartly at him.

“Unpleasant? Did you say unpleasant?”

“At least, I’m sure your ears still function properly.” I shifted my foot idly.

“Can I take you somewhere for drinks and if you are up to it, maybe food as well and we could talk?”

“Deji, not tonight please.”

“Please Zizi. I won’t take your time. Trust me.”

“You could have told me earlier you know. I am really tired and I doubt I can walk any further. I really need to rest.”

“I’ll carry you and maybe add a  massage as well.” He smiled as he reached to hold my hands.

I shook my head at him. “I can’t Deji. I need to go home. It is really late. I’m sorry.”

“Ice-cream then? It won’t take more than ten minutes and maybe we can talk on the way to your house?”

I looked up at him. This man that sometimes has my heart melting. This man that had me drooling at him with his gentility. How could I say no to Ice-cream and a free ride home? I smiled at him, “Okay, just ice-cream.”

“Yes my lady. Shall we?”

I walked in front of him to where his car was parked and got in. I looked at my wristwatch, it was 8.45pm. I wondered why I allowed myself to stay up at the office so late when I should have gone home earlier.

“Seat-belt please.” I heard him mutter softly as he started the ignition. I promptly obeyed laying back my head on the headrest and hoping I could close my eyes without any disturbance. We drove off quietly without saying a word as he slipped his right hand to cup my left hand. I didn’t even bother to pull my hand away, his hand was soft and soothing – I was warmed by his touch.

 

************

MIMI

We arrived at Coors Restaurant just as the minute was about striking to ten and walked in. The environment was serene and peaceful, warm and cozy. I busied myself with my phone while Dafe ran ahead to the other end to say hello to some of his friends. It seemed like a regular spot for them. I admired the way he smiled effortlessly, like he had no care in the world. I was almost drooling on him when I reminded myself that ogling someone could be a sin. I immediately readjusted my eyes to my Google Pixel 2 in front of me and opened my twitter page and just when I was gaining concentration, he walked up to me with a waiter behind him as he nudged me with his elbows gently.

“Hey sexy…what are you up to without me?”

I smiled without responding as I looked up at the waiter in front of us. Dafe picked up the menu and looked at me with eyes asking what what I wanted to eat. I picked out Jollof Spaghetti with shrimps and prawns while he gently ordered African Salad (Abacha) with two large fishes, a jug of juice for me and a bottle of beer for himself. The waiter left us and I asked why he had ordered me a whole jug of juice. He smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

I silently plucked out my phone from my trousers and started pressing on it. Dafe didn’t say anything, instead he reached out to my free hand and held on to it, gently caressing it. I pulled it free from him not wanting to encourage any funny ideas he might be having as he pulled himself closer to me. I smelt his cologne. Old spice, just as nice. I breathed it in and sighed. This man. He did smell nice and I wondered why I had a thing for a nice scent. He held me by the waist and muttered, “so tell me, when do I get to see you again after tonight?”

I didn’t respond. I stared at him suspiciously while he looked at me confused. “What” He queried.

“Nada.” I responded shrugging as I continued with my phone.

“You haven’t answered my question.”

The waiter walked in with the drinks, set them on the table and poured out some of the contents of the juice in a glass cup for me. I looked at him, who asked him to fill my glass? He stood upright and smiled, “the food will be arriving shortly. Please let me know if you will like anything else.”

“Thank you.” Dafe responded to him as a cue to tell him to leave. The waiter smiled and walked away.

I took a gracious sip from the glass cup and realized I was really thirsty. What was wrong with me and food? Just then, Dafe pulled me closer to himself, “I don’t know but I just want to hold you.” He looked at me straight in the eye.

I pulled away not liking where the conversation was towing or the reactions my body was giving.  I coughed. “So tell me mister Dafe, what do you do for a living?” I said trying to change the conversation.

“Ha, I thought you’d never ask.” He smiled as he poured his beer into the glass and took a sip. “Well, I do a lot of things, which would you like to know?”

“Well, maybe the basic ones. The ones that really, mostly take your time and attention and then maybe later, we can delve to the passive ones.”

“Okay then…that is a good start.”

Just then, the waiter arrived with the food accompanied by another waitress. After carefully arranging  the first set of dish on the table, he turned to her and picked the second dish, placing it in front of me. Apparently it was mine. He slid the covers open and placed them on the tray the waitress was holding. The aroma from the contents of the food filled the room. It was heavenly. Dafe looked at me enthusiastically, he could tell I was already salivating from the way I smacked my lips unconsciously. I suddenly felt embarrassed.

He continued as I put my fork to work digging into my food, “I work at an off-grid solar energy company. We deal with energy solutions and delivering sustainable solar power to all our clients and customers. We also try to, you know make optimal design solutions to businesses and start-ups most times upfront with no capital cost and as a way to get the clients in. So I work there from Mondays to Wednesdays and partly sometimes on Friday. On Thursdays, I try to supervise, monitor and manage the properties we have to ensure effective delivery of services to the tenants and occupiers of the premises. On Saturdays, I engage in software development and designing all the websites I piled up during the week for clients.” He cleaned his fork and knife with the serviette and beautifully cut up his fish placing some in his mouth.

I swallowed. “Wow, that is a lot of work that you do. These cannot all be tied to the same company, no?” I reached to dig my fork into his plate while scooping some of  the African salad into my mouth, it was real nice…I should have ordered this, I thought.

“No, they are not the same companies.” He guarded his mouth with his hands as he chewed a bit and continued, “they are different companies but I happen to work in all of  them.” He grinned.

“How do you do it? I mean, does your boss know that you don’t appear at work on Thursday and sometimes Friday or did you sign some sort of independent contract that gets you just 3 days of work?”

“Well, let’s say that  I typically have some sort of independent contract since I am the boss.”

“Oh I see, you own the off-grid?” I asked bemused

“Well, so it would seem.” He replied modestly.

“Oh wow…that is great. You’ve really done well for yourself.”

“I doubt I have.” He took another sip of his drink as he continued eating.

I realized I hadn’t eaten much of my food and that his plate was almost empty. I rolled my fork to accommodate more of the spaghetti as I pushed it into my mouth, chewing a bit before I asked, “hmm, how old are you mister?” I eyed him discreetly.

He laughed as he wiped his mouth clean with another serviette, “32.” He said looking towards me.

“Oh wow, you are  my elder brother oo.” I smiled sweetly at him.

“Lol, please don’t tag me already with that. Just take it back.” He chuckled. I smiled gleefully as he continued, “I see you are not a fast eater. I should teach you how to eat.” He leaned to take a forkful of my spaghetti and some of the prawns. “Hmm, this is tasty. I wonder why I never had this here before.” He looked curious.

“Please, join me.” I pleaded seeing that I might waste the food.

“No way. It is all yours to devour. No wonder you are so slender and sexy.”

“Lol, you should see how I eat. Then you wouldn’t be saying this.” I said as I returned to my food.

“I hear you ma. I can see you already, you don’t seem to like food.”

“Oh well, I cannot force you to believe.” I replied as I ate earnestly while he watched. After about twenty minutes, I was done with my meal. The waiter came in soon enough and cleared the table, returning later with some desserts. I wasn’t sure when Dafe ordered them but it was a nice distraction, as I scooped on the yogurt with some chocolate and nut toppings.

*************

ZIZI

We drove to Hans and Rene at Radisson Blu to get some ice-cream. I was humbled by his choice of restaurant. He looked at me with pleading eyes asking that we sit a while to discuss, I didn’t object. I wanted to sit down by the way and enjoy the serenity of this place taking my ice-cream in silent licks. As we moved to sit down, Deji took my left hand in his and kissed me on the cheek. I was startled. I jerked away from him trying to comprehend what had just happened.

He looked at me meekly as he pulled out a chair for me to sit. I obliged as I took a scoop from my ice-cream. I was still juggling the regret I was feeling for how I had jerked away from him when I felt ice cold liquid drench my hair and trickle down my face into my mouth. Everything was happening so fast, I didn’t understand it until I heard her voice.

“So it is you!” She snorted, “You this good for nothing low life…kissing my man and appearing with him in public. Have you no shame?”

I didn’t understand, what is the meaning of this rubbish? What was all these nonsense? What the hell was she talking about? I turned to face my opponent. It was a stupid attractive young girl with eyelashes the size of both my own. I looked at her as I screamed, “are you not mad? What is the meaning of this nonsense?” I looked at my soaking wet clothes

“You think you can take anyone’s man because you are fine and fair skinned? You lie…you bitch!” She screamed at me as she proceeded to take another ice-cream cup and down it on me.

Deji looked embarrassed as he tried to push the young lady from coming close to me with the ice cream cup. I couldn’t look up but I knew everyone in the room was watching. “What is wrong with you Omotayo? What is the meaning of all these?” Deji asked calmly.

Talk of humiliation at its peak. I looked at my body which was now enjoying the soaking ice-cream pouring from my hair. My reputation with this Deji has just been damaged, just when I thought I was beginning to develop feelings for him. Stupid girl, I muttered as I took the serviette to wipe my clothes. This wouldn’t cut it.

I grabbed my bag in annoyance as I headed to the restroom with the stupid girl screaming at me and Deji doing his best to hold her at bay before she causes any further nuisance. She was lucky Deji held her tight because I would have beaten somebody’s child today. Can you imagine? The Deji that is even disturbing me. The man that I don’t even want to spend time with is the same man someone wants to kill herself for? What a funny world.

I looked at my hair in the mirror as I wiped it with a wet tissue. Thankfully, I was on braids, so it was easier to clean. As I bent my head in shame wondering what the people outside would probably be thinking of me and hoping that the ground would open and swallow me so I would not have to come out, two things lingered in my mind;

Why did Deji Elizade Kiss me on my cheek so abruptly?

Who the hell was that stupid lady that had no public manners and how was Deji involved with that kind of crap?

Just then, I heard someone knocking on the door. I realized I had stayed in too long and that I had shut off others from using the restroom. I sighed as I moved to open the door for the ladies I might have locked out. Lo and behold, it was Deji…

“Deji, please just go away.” I said walking back in.

“I need to take you home Zizi.”

“I don’t want you to take me anywhere. Just go and tend to your lost sheep.” I said flatly

“I’m sorry Zizi. I had no idea this would happen.”

“Just like you will have no idea when she shows up here; I want you to leave me alone please. Have you not embarrassed me enough already?”

“Zizi please, don’t talk like this. Let me take you home. It is the least I can do.”

“Deji, the least you can do really, is to leave me the hell alone!” I walked away and stood at the running tap as I closed it.

This was the most ridiculous thing to happen ever to me. How would I share this insane story with my friends? My goodness! Just then, I felt Deji’s hand rub my shoulder and I realized I was tensed. “Deji please…just leave me or you won’t like what I’ll do next.” I turned to look at him.

“There’s something on your face.” He said looking intently at me as if searching my face. “What is it?” I asked wanting to turn back to face the mirror.

“Let me help you.”

“Deji don’t touch me.” I screamed.

“Calm down Zizi. Let me help you, I think it’s waffles from the ice-cream.” he said as he reached to put his hands on my face while I closed my eyes because I didn’t want to look at him. The next thing that happened shocked me. I felt his soft wet lips touch mine and for the first time in months, I willingly gave in without a fight as I let the tears pour down. He kissed them away as he said, “I’m sorry about tonight Zizi, I didn’t mean for this to happen. Please let me take you home.”

I looked at him, visibly more annoyed at myself for allowing this handsome nonsense man kiss me and for letting myself slip away at his touch. I let him take my bag as he led me to the car and drove me home silently.

*******

MIMI

We left the Coors at about 11.40pm as it started to drizzle. I hoped that the rain won’t come down heavy just so I could get home to avoid any potholes it might build. As I sat beside Dafe, I wondered why I couldn’t  just book an Uber – I didn’t want him driving me to my house. I looked at him, “hey, why don’t I just order an Uber so you don’t have to stress yourself.”

“Who said I was stressing myself?” He grinned sheepishly. “Don’t worry, I’ll take you home.”

“I don’t think that is a good idea Dafe. Let me just order an Uber, please. The road is really far from here and it’s looking like it will rain soon.”

“Do you just hate me so much or is there something I am not doing right?”

I laughed, “I don’t understand. I’m looking out for you. What does hate or like have to do with this?”

He sighed and leaned forward. To be honest, I cannot explain how but he kissed me and I pushed him away ever so lightly. For the life of me, it was good. Real good. Just that short moment and I was almost caught up. I tucked my hair behind my ears as I looked away. He reached to hold my hand, I pulled them free from his grasp. This was not meant to happen. The car suddenly felt hot. I couldn’t breathe. He sighed. “I’ll take you home tonight. The next time we see, I’ll take you home – my home.”

He started driving and I stared hard at him in disbelief. Did he just say that? So bluntly! What audacity! My heart felt like it was literally going to fall. I swallowed as he drove on, playing a soft tune. I couldn’t utter a statement. I feared this man was going to rape me – in a good way. As if he knew what I was thinking, he placed his hands on mine and softly began to caress it. It was soothing but also disturbing and so I pulled them away. He turned to look at me when we approached the traffic lights and smiled, reaching to caress my cheek…”sexy girl, smile for me.”

I pouted and ignored his comment. We got to my home area in record time and I requested him to drop me off along my home. He refused bluntly and said he was going to take me home, see me walk in through the gate before he drives off. I was tired of arguing so I let him take me home. When we got to my gate and I made to come down, he reached for me again and kissed me. I didn’t know whether or not to resist, as I battled in my head. I placed one finger on his lips as I gently pulled away from this man that was causing me to feel strange. He looked at me with shrewd eyes as he asked, “When will I see you again?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged.

“Can I come pick you up in the morning?”

“What morning?”

“Tomorrow morning.”

“Dafe, I have other appointments tomorrow and besides it is 12.38am. Go home already.”

“Do you want me to come drag you out?”

“I have appointments I can’t cancel Dafe.”

“Should I drive you there tomorrow? These appointments, I mean.”

“No, you are not allowed to do that. Thank you for the offer.”

“What does a man have to do to get to you?” he asked distraught.

“To get in my pants, you mean.”

“Either ways…what do I have to do?”

“Get away you dirty mind!” I responded as I flung open the car door and shut it behind me.

He came out from his end and shouted, “I’ll call you tomorrow morning. Goodnight sexy.”

I walked away hoping no one around my estate heard him call me sexy.

__________________________________________

Watch this space for more Episodes of Friday Nights.

Till I come your way again next time, this is ShiozeThinksOut.

Cheers!

 

Friday Nights; Sexcapades

Click here to read the fifth and last episode on reckless journey if you are just joining us…Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey V

Enjoy!

_____________________________________________________________

MIMI

Dafe was indeed full of surprises. Our first date was on Friday; three days after I agreed to see him again and it was really impressive, quite something. He did not even inform me on time, he just called me late Thursday night as I was ready to get in bed that he was going to take me out on Friday after work. He didn’t even tell me where no matter how much I persisted in asking. He just said ‘I prepared something for you, nothing really formal.’ I was amused.

The past really loves attention – that is the reason why it always creeps up to you especially when you just seemed to have moved on from it. 

I mean, I had forgotten all about Dafe to be honest till his call. I wondered whether to keep this secret further or just tell my friends. The next day, I went to work and purposefully did not pack a night bag because I was going to go home! Of course, I made sure I looked gorgeous to work – I didn’t want to be seen with such a classy man looking strangely dressed. If at all, I wanted to be ready for whatever the occasion was. So I wore a high-waisted navy green palazzo trousers with a grey off-shoulder ruffle-sleeve blouse. Thankfully, it was dress down day at work, so I didn’t have to bother so much about what I wore – although I carried a ‘parchmina’ to cover my open neck and bare shoulders.

I wasn’t sure whether or not I was concentrating at work but the day seemed to roll by very fast. I felt my heart racing as I saw the time approaching 6.00pm. I thought about calling Dafe to cancel our date. I wasn’t sure exactly how I felt at the thought of being seen with him. I wondered what he thought of me in his head.

Crap girl, just let go of those thoughts and have fun. Have you ever heard where going out with a guy killed a girl? Suck it up and wait for his call and stop acting like a child.

I sighed. As I sat before my office computer facing me, I realized I had not completely cleared my desk for the weekend. I definitely did not want to pile up any work for Monday, so I started working on the two files I had left unfinished. It immediately struck me that I had agreed with Dafe to leave by 7pm. “Shoot!” I said realizing it was 6.40pm. I still had a couple things to tidy and 7pm was not going to cut it for me. Just then, my phone began to ring. I decided to ignore it but it rang again severally.

I turned my phone to reveal who the caller was before I picked it, “Hello” I muttered

“Hello Mimi, what’s up?” Lola asked

“Hey Lola. I am fine. How did your day go?”

“Amazing I must say. Are you still at work?”

“My dear, you don see am now. That is where I am oo – I am trying to tidy up my desk.”

“You and work this young lady. Stand up and go home, it is a Friday babes.”

“I will, very soon.”

“So what are your plans for tonight?”

“I’m not sure what they are really, I am more concerned with clearing this desk in front of me and then I will figure out what next.”

“Do you want to hang out with Elvis and I?”

“Lola, did you say Elvis?”

“Yup. You heard me loud and clear. What say you?”

“Lol, I am not sure I can hang out with you guys, I am supposed to meet with someone by 7pm and it is already 7pm. Sorry.”

“Oh that is great then. Let me call Zizi and see what she is up to. Enjoy your night babes. I hope something eventful comes out of your strange meeting Mimi.”

“Lol, go away from my phone, you are a nuisance!”

She laughed at the other end, “why else do I know you, if not to be that nuisance, eh?”

I looked at my ringing phone, “hang up babes, someone is calling me.”

“All righty. Talk to you later. Bye.” She blew a kiss from the other end as she ended the call.

I quickly picked the call as I breathed, “Hello”

“Hey you…are you still busy-ish?”

“Sort of. Where are you?”

“I am just about to leave the office. I wanted to be sure you were ready for me.”

“Can you give me, say some 10 minutes extra please? I’ll just tidy and organize my desk.”

“Okay, what is your office address? So I know where to pick you at.”

“Okay erm, it’s at 36 Awolowo Road, Ikoyi.”

“36 Awolowo Road…right! Expect me in 30 minutes. I’m guessing you will be ready by then, yes?”

“Definitely.”

“Good. I will see you shortly.”

“Very well.”

I dropped my phone as I proceeded to round off my work and pack my bags. I pulled off the parchmina I wore around my neck and folded it neatly into my bag.

**********

I said my goodbye’s to the rest of my colleagues who were still crammed up with work before I heard my supervisor say, “Hmm, someone is looking dashing tonight! The person causing this much ruckus must be really worth it.”

I laughed at what I imagined to be a sheer sarcasm as I responded, “Goodnight Sir. Do enjoy the weekend.”

“I sure will and I trust yours will be more fun than mine. Do well to laugh a lot tonight and loosen up Mimi, you are always too uptight!” He finished as he peered back to his system.

I grinned as I shook my head, why does everyone think I’m too uptight?  “Goodnight Sir.” I said again as I blushed away.

I glanced at my wristwatch and saw that it was 7.28pm. Instinctively, I walked out and headed to the elevator. Just then, my phone rang. It was him.

“Hey you…” I whispered

“Hey stranger,” I heard him smile “I’m at your office building.

“Don’t worry, I’m heading down already. You won’t have to wait too long.”

“Ah, she’s courteous! I am grateful.”

I smiled to myself, “see you soon Dafe.”

“I’m waiting.” He replied as he ended the call.

*******

As I got closer to the ground floor, I felt more anxious and excited. I had never really had a proper date with anyone before – mostly because I turned down all offers that came my way – and I really wasn’t sure whether I wanted to go anywhere fancy with Dafe but somehow my mind kept reminding me that I was 24 and I needed to give myself some treat.

When I got to the office lobby area, I saw him seated by the waiting area observing the space. He looked effortlessly gorgeous in the purple shirt and carton colored trousers he was wearing, far better than I think a guy should look on a Friday night. After putting so much effort in my appearance, I still appeared as a toad before him, I thought as I walked up to meet him.

“Hey sexy one.” He smiled as he stood up to give me an embrace. I pulled my hand out for a shake and he tilted his head to one side and gave me a wry smile. “Oh I see how it is now, a handshake, huh?”

“Well, yes.”

“No, no…I didn’t come all the way for a handshake. Remember I said not a formal outing and I am a hugger. So please oblige me and bring that sexy body here.” He beckoned with both hands.

I moved to give him a side hug because I didn’t feel comfortable giving him a full hug. It just seemed weird and awkward. I felt awkward.  I looked at him again, he was smiling at me.

“Shall we?” he asked opening his right hand to receive mine.

“Where to please?”

“You will find out soon sexy. Just relax and enjoy the Friday.” He smiled at me again.

I loved the way he smiled at me; the way his lips lifted upwards to reveal his perfectly aligned teeth and the way his dimples creased. Oh, he had dimples – I never noticed. His smile was a meadow of green, a ray of sunshine; I feared I might get sunburn.

*******

We drove down to Lagoon and headed to a table he had earlier reserved for us by the seaside. The view of the beautiful water body surrounding the area was spectacular; I was glad I said yes to going out with him tonight. We sat right opposite each other as I tried to observe the people around me. It was my first time at Lagoon so it was okay for me to wonder how people behaved at this place, what they ordered on their tables, how they spoke and how they sat smiling with their lovers – I assumed everyone was with a lover since it was mostly a pair of a guy and a girl or three pairs of guys as well as girls all seated together.

All the while, Dafe wouldn’t stop staring at me. I wondered why he was looking at me so intently smiling that coy smile. I shook my head as I looked on at the waters seating beside me. “Hey sexy…” I heard his soft voice whisper

I smiled as I looked at him, “stop teasing me already. You know my name is Mimi. Just call me by my name.”

“What would you like to have?” I heard the waitress say as she looked on at me handing me the menu. Apparently, she had been standing there a while, I didn’t even notice. I collected the menu as I began to flip through the pages looking for my favorite mix when I saw what seemed to be fried ice cream on the menu; I laughed. “What the hell is a fried Ice cream?” I asked no one in particular.

“Well, I have no idea.” Dafe replied “Is that what you want to have?”

“Nah, do you guys make Pina Colada’s?” I asked closing the menu as I was too tired looking through their funny food names.

“Yes, we do ma’am. Is that what you would like to have?”

“Yes please.”

I saw Dafe look at me, as he took away the menu from me. “No, Let me order something different for her?” He asked looking at me

I looked at him in bewilderment as he continued to flip through the pages like I wasn’t there… “There is something I think you would enjoy taking. Ah, ha…I found it! Make her this one.” He said as he pointed to a part of the menu looking at the waitress.

“What are you ordering for me?” I asked “Can I see it?”

“So, I ordered a ‘screamy orgasm’ for you.” He grinned widely

“I have never heard of such a mix. Sounds really weird.”

“Just take it and then let me know how you like or hate it.”

The waitress walked away to get our orders and I looked at him wondering why he had made me that choice of drink. It sounded so nasty.

“So…” he started, “tell me, how was your day at the office?”

“It was okay, and yours?”

“It was great. The highlight of the day is seeing you.”

I was quiet for a while before I replied, “That is good.”

“So tell me about you Mimi.” He continued as he reached out to grab my hands.

“Me? What can I really tell you? There isn’t much to say. What do you want to know?” I asked looking around.

“Everything. Everything you have to say.”

“That is not an easy job. Ask me specifics and I will try to answer you honestly.”

“Okay, that’s fair but that is a lot of work for me.”

“Well, the price you have to pay if you want to know me.” I grinned at him as I flashed my tongue at him.

He smiled, “You should be careful in doing that. You never can tell what may happen to that tongue once it starts behaving wildly.”

I laughed at his comment. He was easy to talk to. I crossed my ankles as I rubbed my palms over my bare shoulders. The weather was cool and I was beginning to feel a bit cold.

“Are you cold?”

“No, I’m not. My body is getting used to the water’s weather.” I lied.

He seemed not to buy it, “If you are cold, we could switch seats to a place warmer. Somewhere in the middle if you like?”

“No,” I replied “I like the view here, it is amazing. Don’t worry about me, I’m not cold.”

Just then, the waitress came with our drinks. My glass was really large and I wondered why they wanted to drown me. It looked really nice, I hoped that the taste would be nicer. I took a sip; hmm, not bad, I thought.

“Do you like it?” He asked

“I don’t think I can judge that properly yet. I just took a sip, let me take a couple more and I will let you know what I decide.”

He shook his head smiling. He was always smiling, so beautiful, I could watch him all day.

“So, if I am permitted to ask, how old are you?”

“Well, take a wild guess.” I sipped some more of the really nice drink even though I refused to admit.

“22?”

“Really now? Well…you almost hit the nail on the head. I am 24.”

“Oh wow, that’s a perfect age.”

“That is your business, even though I don’t understand what you mean by perfect age.”

“Haha…” He laughed, “so missy, what do you do for a living?”

“Well, I make money from designing people’s buildings, homes and developing facilities. So I am responsible for the visual appearances of structures and buildings.”

“Wow, that is a really beautiful way to describe what you do as an Architect.”

“I see you are a smart man.” I chuckled.

“Well, my elder sister is an Architect; so yeah – I understand basically.”

“Okay, so you are trying to say you are not so smart? I get it – my bad.”

“You are something else Mimi. So, do you enjoy what you do?”

“Oh yes, I do. It is a really amazing job and it is fantastic how awesome people ideas are. I mean, I look forward to meeting new client on a daily. Some days, I just want to leave my desk and go for roadshows and conferences, where I can meet people, discuss ideas on facilities and create a design. My colleagues think I’m too uptight and serious but I think they are misreading me every single time. Like…I just don’t know how to sit in a day without coming up with a fantastic idea about a design or a plan for a structure to remodel or build. I mean, it is really amazing now that I think about it.”

I realize I was talking too much. I stop to look at him and he is grinning from ear to ear. “What is it?” I ask perturbed.

“I just admire your passion. I could literally sit here all day and listen to you talk, your voice is soothing.”

“You are not serious.”

“Do you want us to order something to eat or you want us to go somewhere fancy to eat?”

“Isn’t this place fancy enough? And yes I am hungry, I’ll like to order.”

“They don’t have real food here just so you know. Would you like to have the seafood platter?”

“Yes, I love seafood. Do they make it nice here?”

“I guess they do. That is what Deji and Jay loves to eat when we hang out here. I’d rather eat the pizza or beef stakes.” He beckoned on the waitress to come and ordered the seafood platter for me and some slice of pizza for himself. The food came in good time and I ate to my fill. The sauce was delicious, I was awed by the mastery of the chef. As I licked the sauce from my lips I heard Dafe’s soft voice whisper, “I didn’t tell you how ravishing you looked, did I?”

I blushed bright red even though I couldn’t appear red. “Is that a compliment? I asked

“No, it’s not; it is the truth. I don’t even know how to compliment you. I don’t want to say the wrong words.”

“Keep teasing me Dafe. Keep on, it can only get better.”

He laughed, “now she thinks I’m teasing uh.”

I glanced at my wrist watch, it was quarter past nine. I quietly wondered I should ruin the evening by asking that we leave so I could get home on time and avoid the traffic. I swallowed spit. This was not going to be easy. He looked at me as the waitress brought another round of drinks, “Are you tired?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Well, you seem to be looking desperately at your time. Am I bad company?”

“I wish you were.” I smiled, “I’m just worried about the time I’ll get home.”

“I’ll drop you off, you don’t have to bother.”

“My house is really far oo and there is a lot of traffic around the area, trust me, you don’t want to get involved in it when you will still head all the way back.”

“Did I complain to you young woman? Trust me, I think I am going to have a great time driving you home and by the way, we aren’t done with the evening.”

“What does that mean?”

“We have other places to go, so let’s get going.” He reached out to waiter and cleared the bill while I wondered if this was another episode of what happened last week.

“Shall we?” He stood up as he brought forward his hands to grab mine.

I stood up, smoothed my trousers as I allowed him to intertwine his fingers with me while we walked to the car and sped off into the night.

_________________________________

Watch this space for more Episodes of Friday Nights.

Till I come your way again next time, this is ShiozeThinksOut.

Cheers!

 

Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey V

Click here to read the fourth episode on reckless journey if you are just joining us…Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey IV

Enjoy!

__________________________

MIMI

As we drove silently towards Deji’s home, I watched the way he looked every now and then at Zizi. I silently observed them both and wondered if he was a fitting pair for my friend. I observed both their faces; Zizi kept pulling her hand away from Deji’s constant grasp.

My dear, quietly drive us to where the bed is and continue this love and affection later on, I thought.

As usual, Lola was fantasizing about Elvis and I wondered how long it will take before the crush for him wanes off. I shook my head as I watched her closely. She was obviously lost in thoughts.

*******

Soon enough, we arrived at Deji’s home. Apparently, he lived alone in one of his Father’s mansion since his father was not keen about returning back to Nigeria. I was bedazzled by the vastness and magnificence of the building. There were two other cars parked at the place reserved for parking and my, oh my, boy were they classy? Even the security guard looked classy, I began to consider the job. As we approached the living area just beside the foyer, Lola and I caught our breathe as if on cue. The space is a definition of lush, even my rugged sandals relaxed when they stepped on the rug. I look around and all of a sudden, I want to run and bury myself on the plush couch with feather pillows.

Deji takes us to the room where we can stay for the night and I quietly observe everything around me again. The bed is large, well laid out and fluffy with coffee brown sheets and plush apricot accent pillows.  The Alphano Beige walls have a calming effect, the walnut mahogany furniture used for the dresser and the closet gives the room a glowing warm, cuddly feeling. The lace curtains are a darker brown with Apricot colored tassels, it is exquisite.

I drop my bag carefully on the dresser and move to the restroom as I  need to pee. Everything is another shade of copper brown and ceramic, the shower head is Silver and the tub is polished brown. White towels are hanging on a railing in the corner, soaps and bottles of lotions, fragrances, shampoos and other things I know nothing about are in a transparent cupboard sitting just beside the copper mirror hanging above the hand faucet; my face looks sleepy.

I wash my face quickly. All these looks like I am inside a movie. I hear Zizi’s voice behind me.

“All these things in a guest room. Hian!”

I look up at her as I shake my head, “Please, allow us to enjoy the serenity of this place.”

“Better go to bed oo. We are leaving here before Noon.”

I hear Lola shout from the room, “You are alone oo Zizi. I am staying here till Sunday. You will tell me who is chasing you.”

She shakes her head as she moves to pee. “I have said my own oo. Don’t be deceived by all these beautiful things surrounding you. I have laundry to do.”

“I don’t understand you oo. We only just got here Zizi.” I said looking point blank at her, “Why the rush?”

“Can you not see the time? 6.15am. We spent the entire night partying and drinking. You still want us to waste our day sleeping here? Please, I have things to do if you girls don’t.”

“We did not exactly party and drink all night madam. Besides, you invited us here. How are we at fault in all these?” I asked opening my two hands beside me. By this time, Lola had also come in, struggling to pee and take a bath.

“I have said my own. You people just kept dancing like mad women. Instead of requesting that Deji take us home. See Mimi, I just want to get enough rest, wake up before 12pm and go home. I cannot keep piling my laundry and I have other meetings to attend.”

“Ah, so we are now mad women abi?”

“Yes oo. I don’t even know where you girls get the energy to keep on all night. My goodness!”

“Okay oo, if you say you want to leave early…no wahala. I will decide what I want to do when I wake up.”

“Please wake me up by 10.30am.” She requested

“Lol, did you ask me what time I will be waking up? I’m sure you are making a mistake by asking me to do that for you – that is, if I even wake up by 2pm.” I snort.

“You guys have fun planning your exit. I am here till Sunday bitches.” Lola chirped in laughing as she pulled her panties to take a shower. “Get out you two, stop looking at my bum.”

“Which one please?” Zizi asked “Because somebody looked your way tonight, we will not hear word.” She laughed as she smacked Lola’s right bum cheek.

“Ehn, is it your somebody? Please allow me enjoy this moment!” Lola retorted as she closed the glass doors of the shower tub. “Harassing someone’s child.”

I laughed at them both as I made to pull off my clothes.

“Ehn ehn, better wait your turn Mimi. I am taking a shower right after Lola.”

“Hian, you are not even ready to take a shower madam. Why are you acting like Nigerian politics?”

“Leave me like that, ready or not, I am taking a shower next. You can see, I have no energy and I need more sleep than the two of you. Please just allow me.”

“Who has your time? Take your shower and let me be.”

“You see why I love you?”

“You have seen someone you can manipulate now, that is why. I don’t blame you…” I said as I walked into the room looking for where to charge my phone. Apparently, one of my friend had plugged it on the power socket for me. I was relieved. I laid down on the bed trying to reminisce on the occurrences of last night and early this morning. My stomach grumbled and I realized I was hungry. Shoot. I will just have to wait it out.

******

At some point, I slept off. A warm hand reached to tap me, “Hey gurl, go and take a shower.”

I looked up and saw Lola staring bright eyed at me, “is she through?” I asked

“Yep. She is toweling herself dry.”

I sighed as I made to stand up. I was darn hungry. I looked at Lola. “What?” She asked

“I am hungry fa.”

“My dear, I thought I was the only one. We just have to wait it out.”

“Did I hear someone say she is hungry just now or am I the one thinking it?” Zizi asked as she walked out of the bathroom.

“Lol, yes you heard us say we are hungry. Come and beat us.”

“Beat ke? No oo, in fact, I am hungry as well. You won’t believe it.”

“If there is anything we can believe, it is the fact that you are hungry. After all, you were forming ‘I’m not hungry‘ when everyone was eating at the beach.” Lola laughed as I walked away to take a shower.

“My dear…if only I knew, I would have eaten something.” Zizi affirmed.

********

Just as I was stepping out of the bathroom, I heard a gentle knock on the door. I rubbed my eyes gently wondering what Deji wanted to say now that Zizi had probably gone to sleep. I looked towards the bed and saw my friends lying peacefully after they had reserved a corner for me by the left hand side facing the windows.

“Hold on a bit please.” I walked towards the dresser and wondered what to put on for sleep. I was tempted to uncover the duvet to see what my friends were wearing but I was more conscious of the fact that I was keeping someone waiting at the door. Shoot! I said to myself. I tightened the towel around my chest and walked towards the door, “Hold on…” I said as I opened the door puzzled that he didn’t knock a second time.

I was startled at first as I stared on. I stared at her for what seemed to be three minutes before I heard her say, “hello ma, are you okay?”

I swallowed spit  and pretended to smile as several thoughts ran in my head, who is she?

“Mister Deji asked me to bring you ladies some fresh shirts to wear.” She said holding forward her hands filled with three soft tee-shirts.

“Oh, thank you.” I could barely even whisper. A maid.

“Would you like to have anything before you go to sleep ma? Mister Deji said you all would be very hungry after the long night. I prepared some warm milk. I can bring it up, if you are too tired to come out.”

I smiled at her. She was gracious. “Yes please.” I responded without shame. “Bring anything you have my dear, my friends and I are sincerely hungry.”

She chuckled at me for the first time and I felt relaxed. “Okay ma.” She said as she walked away while I closed the door behind me. I did not like the idea of her calling me Ma, it made me feel old.

Apparently, she was the one who tidied up this room and laid out the towels for us because I was wondering how Deji knew to bring out three fresh towels. I walk up to my friends and yanked off the duvet, behold two set of naked humans! They did not even bother to put on something, my goodness! I thought. I tapped them individually as they turned to look at me, clearly upset.

“Deji sent us some clothes to wear naked people.”

Lola laughed, “Who told you we wanted to wear cloths?” Zizi asked covering herself with the duvet again.

“Stand up jhoor and wear the shirts your handsome prince sent us. By the way, food is coming.”

Lola jerked up suddenly, “where is it?” as they start to wear the shirts.

“Ode” I laughed, “I said it is coming and by the way, he has a warm maid.”

Zizi’s eye lit up. “A maid? How would you know that?”

“Don’t worry, she is coming soon with the food. She brought the shirts.” I smiled sitting on the bed as I half-crossed my leg. Just then, she knocked again, very quietly. “Hold on, I’m coming.”

I hurried to open the door as I let her in. She was carrying a huge tray filled with pancakes, maple syrup, jug of warm milk, sausages and eggs.

“Thank you…” I looked at her, “what is your name?”

“Aisha Ma.”

“Thank you Aisha. Please don’t call me Ma, my name is Mimi.”

“Yes Ma. Do you want anything else.”

I looked at my friends who were now standing by the table picking out what they wanted to eat on a plate. I shook my head, “No Aisha. Thank you very much.”

She smiled as she walked out. I grabbed a plate as I helped myself to some of the food. I was very hungry. Zizi looked at me, “You were there telling the poor girl not to call you Ma. Do you want her to get sacked? You will not allow someone do their job in peace, be there forming good girl.”

Lola laughed, “Zizi abeg oo, leave Mimi alone. You know it is not easy getting used to these things. It takes time.”

“Ha, very true. Lola your head dey there.”

I shook my head at them. I did not have their time. I was hungry and I could only talk after the hunger had been pacified. The poor Aisha girl did not even remove the ‘Ma’ from her mouth when addressing me. I wondered if I was acting like a ‘Ma’.

I finish the food on my plate and gulp down the milk I poured out for myself. I rub my aching stomach as I reach out to take the last sausage on the bowl. Zizi hits my hand as she takes it. I tilt my head and pout my mouth in a, why-did-you-do-that-to-me manner. I look to Lola for help but Lola is already hugging the pillow searching for sleep. Zizi takes two bite and put the other in my mouth. I am grateful. I yawn and know that my body is ready to sleep. I reach to put off the lights as I take up the space left for me. I go into oblivion.

_________________________________

Watch this space for more Episodes of Friday Nights.

Till I come your way again next time, this is ShiozeThinksOut.

Cheers!

Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey IV

Click here to read the third episode on reckless journey if you are just joining us…Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey III

Enjoy!

________________

ZIZI

I cannot believe myself. Everything is happening differently from what I imagined.  How did I get myself into this? All I just want to do right now is sleep. I look at everyone and I get a bit upset. How are they not tired? I know I am not the only one who went to work yesterday. I mean, can you even imagine? It is another day and I am still awake like the care-keeper of the humans! For Pete’s sake, can something happen already? I look at Lola and Mimi. They are playing by the water. What kind of friends do I even have? How are they not as tired of this entire jamboree like I am? I know I am not weird and neither am I anti-social; for all it’s worth, I think I am the only normal person here.

No rest for the wicked. 

Before now, I had never been to the beach at night. In fact, the only places I had gone to at night were karaoke bars, mini clubs, vigils and birthday parties that extended into the night but never lasted till after 2.00am. I had never seen so many people gathered in a beach like this and I began to wonder if the people in Lagos only come out at night. Everyone here looked super excited. As I watched the waters, I felt out of place as I didn’t see anyone who was dressed like me or my friends. Most people were clad on shots and mini dresses. The ones that looked like they came straight from their offices had pulled off their skirts and were wearing their shirts knotted into a kind of beach wear. It was funny how people used their creativity on strange things.

The music around was horrendously loud I could feel it syncing with my heart beat. A cloud of smoke filled the atmosphere and for a second I felt like running out and then realized I was in an open space. I observed the people around me again I think for the umpteenth time, most were busy making out, others were laughing in groups – drinking and holding hands.

I sigh sitting on the sand as I rub my palms across my legs. The night is cold and I wish I had some sort of cover-all. I look back and hope that no one notices that I had moved away. I begin to bury my hand dip in the sand making some sort of hand castle.

*******

“Hello babe” I looked up to see some sort of handsome man flashing a smile at me.

“Hello,” I responded casually as I turned my attention to my hand castle not wanting to engage in any discussion.

I felt him bend down towards me as he looked at what I was doing, “What is this? Are you sure everything is okay?”

I rolled my eyes ignoring his question, hoping that he would somehow disappear back to where he came from. He giggled and nodded his head. I wondered what was funny to him. He seemed like a gentleman as he just kept on smiling and stayed quiet watching me. I felt odd. I didn’t understand whether or not to continue what I was doing or just get up from where I was seated. I was impressed by his scent, he smelt really nice but I was not going to indulge in any conversation with a total stranger, even though I covertly admired him. I shoved back the random thoughts into the far part of my mind.  I felt him look at the waters and back at me when he finally spoke out… “so what is your name?”

“A girl has no name.” I replied coyly.

“A girl has no name but has a pretty face huh?”

I smiled as I carefully pulled out my hand from the castle I had built and dusted the sand off my hand still ignoring him.

“…so for a girl who has no name, why are you out here alone?” His voice reverberated and the alcohol in his breath the air beside me. When he saw that I was not responding, he didn’t say another word but carefully slipped his hand into my newly built hand castle, remodeling it. I was amused at him. Just then, I felt someone grab me carefully from behind and I already could tell it was Mimi.

“You!” She peered into my face “So this is where you are hiding eh?”

I smiled, grateful that she didn’t say my name out for this strange handsome man to hear. “I have come to join you.” She continued sitting by me and holding my hand. “What’s up?”

“I’m tired babes. I want to sleep.”

“I understand. Sorry. Thankfully, it’s a Saturday so you can indulge in sleeping all you want.” She said caressing the small of my back.

“I have laundry to take care of. Sleeping away my Saturday will not help that.”

“You can do it on Sunday after church.”

“No, Sundays are meant for resting.”

She shrugged, “okay Miss Efficient.” She looked past me smiling and looked at me strangely. I knew what and who she was referring to but I chose to ignore her. She nudged me imploring me to tell her who he was. I looked at her and whispered, “He’s a ghost! I don’t know how come you can see him.”

She burst into laughter, “Really huh?”

“Sshh!” I whispered “The ghost has ears.”

“I sure do have ears.” He responded, “hello you.” He waved at Mimi.

“Hello strange man.” She replied, “I see you have kept my friend company but now that I’m here, you can take a walk. Thank you.”

He laughed, “is that right now, just like that, you are sending me off?”

“Oh my bad, did you want me to through you a valedictory ceremony?” Mimi smirked, “I thought you didn’t like celebrations so I opted out of it for you, yikes!”

“My goodness, aren’t you just something now? You didn’t even bother to ask me even.”

Mimi looked like she was thinking a while and then she responded, “Oh wait, didn’t you sign the contract all by yourself? I remember asking you to read everything but you said you were used to contracts like those. Why blame me for your misconception?”

I was clearly enjoying this interaction between these two. It was something to watch and the Mimi I knew, was always a sight to watch during conversations as this.

“Okay, okay…I agree but I deserve some accolades.”

“Accolades? For keeping my friend company? Nah bruvh, you paid your dues but it sure isn’t enough to get you those accolades you think you deserve. Just bounce while you still have the honor to so do.”

“Am I being chased away?”

“Erm…literally no but somewhat yes. We are trying to have a girl’s time and you are ruining it.”

“How long do you want me to give you girls space for?”

“Forever maybe.”

I looked at Mimi. She clearly did not sound nice. I was glad that she was chasing him away but I wondered why she sounded this way to the man that we both didn’t even know toot about.

He took his hands out of the hand castle and said to me, “Here is a bigger castle for you, girl with no name. I hope you like it?”

I smiled at him in appreciation. He put his hands in his pocket and brought out a wallet. After a while,he dug out his card, looked at Mimi and said, “you should call me” as he stretched his card at her. I was shocked, I mean I was seated here all along, why didn’t he hand me his card?

She took it and looked at him, “I will not call you and this card will sit pretty somewhere in my pocket.”

“When you think of tonight, you will call me and I will expect your call. Take your time, don’t rush…let it come to you.”

What is wrong with this man? Acting like one important stuff. I thought.

Finally he stood up, dusted his shorts and said, “It was nice to meet you ladies especially you.” He smiled gesturing at Mimi, “take care and enjoy the rest of the morning.”

I looked at Mimi after he walked away, “You this young girl…you sure know how to make an entrance eh?”

“What?” She asked opening her palms “he looked like he was a disturbance to you and I wanted to clear the air for you. I am not sure I even understood what just happened.”

“So will you call him?”

“And tell him what kwanu?”

“I don’t know. Whatever you tell people when you call them.”

“Yeah right.” She looked at me again, “why are you seated here all by yourself? Have you now joined the marine spirits?”

“Ode, it is you that initiated me with your food now.”

“Small joke, you have gone to another level.”

“Where is Lola?” I asked

“Where else? She is at the hut dancing and having fun that you are clearly refusing to have.”

“Don’t you see what the time is? It is 4.20am.”

“And we will soon leave. Deji has been worried about you, you disappeared on all of us. I think he is a cool guy by the way.”

“And all of a sudden, you are Deji’s fan?”

“Lol, not exactly. I just know he does like you very much.”

“Please leave me, allow me to enjoy this cool breeze.”

“And talking about Deji will reduce the flow of the breeze to you?”

“Yes, it will.” I pouted at her as she shook her head.

Suddenly Mimi grabbed me and said, “Let’s go and play with the water. Just a few dips of our legs and we will run back once the wave comes at us.”

“Lol Mimi, are you crazy? Do you want us to die? Can’t you see that it’s so dark.”

“That’s the fun of it Zizi. Live life on the edge, try new things. I know this is your first time coming to the beach at night, enjoy the moment. Stand up.”

She stood up and beckoned to me to stand up, “No way Mimi. I’m not going to live life on the edge like you please. I still have other days to live for.” She dragged me up.

“Don’t be a lazy child. Come and feel the adventure.”

“Mimi, leave me alone.”

I followed Mimi towards the river bank. Thankfully, our shoes were left behind in Deji’s car so there was no fear of the water taking away our shoes. Mimi held me tight as we dug our legs into the sand and waited for the water to arrive. This was looking delightful although I was scared. I looked at Mimi, she was pretty confident, so I stood on till the water washed ashore. It felt nice the first time, so we dug our legs deeper again this time, beckoning on the water to come. It was nice to have Mimi around most times. She was always the daring one, never afraid of anything  always wanting to explore the adventures in everything.

Like a knight in shining amour, I saw Deji looking so handsome as he held hands with Fara walking towards the water too. I knew Michael was Fara’s boyfriend yet I was jealous with the way she held Deji. They looked so good. The weariness I was feeling earlier was suddenly replaced with desperation; desperation to get him to notice me just then. I tried to act like I didn’t care and hoped that they would walk right by us. By now, my heart began to pound heavily because I was nervous.

Before I could have a rethink, Mimi looked up and caught their eyes “Fara!” She waved. They walked closer to us and I took a closer look at him again this time, he looked so attractive. So as not to seem obvious that I was admiring him, I turned my gaze to Fara for awhile as I listened to her and Mimi talk.

I feigned laughter with them for a while and Fara looked at me, “Where have you been hiding yourself all night babe? You sure got Deji worried. Thank goodness I brought him right to you!” She smiled.

My stomach did a flip when Deji held my hand and I started feeling self-conscious. He looked at me and smiled, “so this is where you came to seek solace? Without me?”

“You were busy attending to your friends, you forgot about me.”

“How could I forget about my own?”

I blushed. He smiled at me again and it felt like magic. He narrowed his dark alluring eyes, “Do you want us to take a walk? If you don’t mind that is…”

“If you want to…” I responded coyly. What is wrong with me, I wondered.

*********

We quietly walked away with him holding my hands. I was so deep in thought that I forgot I was walking beside Deji until he spoke, “I never really did get to ask you how your day went last night. My apologies.”

I smiled, “It’s okay. At least you recognize the fact.”

“I am here hoping that at least the night out was fun for you Ziola.”

“Yes it was, although we spaced through three different places tonight but you did a great job trying to impress me.” I grinned.

“I intend to spoil you everyday, if you’ll let me.” He said sounding agog.

I felt emotions surge through me but remained quiet.

“I want you to know that I am in no haste and you will have all the time you want to think about the possibility of You and I and I promise, I’ll still be here waiting for your answer.” He spoke with so much calm and confidence I was intrigued.

“What can I say? You have tried all your best to make me feel special but I don’t think I am ready for what you have to offer me.”

There was along hush between us after I spoke but several unspoken thoughts cut through the silence. In that moment, I felt like if he pushed on, I would say yes to him; emotions I thought I did not have, emotions I though had died in me came spiraling – I realized this must have been some sort of spell. Deji had always behaved and acted like a man of few words and more deeds; a trait that made him appealing to me by the way.

“Let’s take you home Zizi. It’s after 5 o’clock. You need to rest.”

“Thank you for all these and for taking me out tonight. I am really grateful.”

“It is nothing really Zi. You should know that.”

We walked out to meet the rest of the gang who had obviously been waiting for us to arrive so we could go home. I looked at Deji as we drove out and started fantasizing about him. I felt some butterflies in my stomach as thought of his charm and chivalrous personality and his sweet words reiterated in my head. He was a matured man with an impeccable ego and a healthy dose of pride – I for one was attracted.

I was falling for him but it did not feel right. This didn’t feel right. I just needed sleep.

____________________________

Watch this space for more Episodes of Friday Nights.

Till I come your way again next time, this is ShiozeThinksOut.

Cheers!

 

 

 

 

Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey III

Click here to read the Second episode on reckless journey if you are just joining us…Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey II.

Enjoy!

_________________

MIMI

I am full to the brim and not sure if I can survive a walk. I look at my friends laughing at something on Lola’s phone. I am unmoved. I look around and get a feel of everybody’s presence at the cafe. It’s a mix-mash of several groups.

The guys with the tattoos, deep pockets and heavy laughs – they looked more like G boys to me. The girls with the really expensive weaves, sexy bodies, luscious lips and ready arms – I am not sure how to classify them. The older men with the fuller hair, grim smiles and cautious eyes – sugar daddy types.

I look around me and wondered how to classify us. We were also a certain mix of some sort and truthfully, my girls and I looked average. I felt like sinking deeper into my seat. I looked at Lola and then Zizi, they didn’t look that bad. They looked quite classy but I wasn’t sure how I looked. I’m sure I was looking like the only secondary school kid in the room. I sighed.

Suddenly I heard someone say, “why aren’t you dancing?”

I looked up and saw Jay looking at me smiling, “Oh, I didn’t realize it was dancing time.” I responded.

He grins at me and say, “are you going to stand up and dance at all? You look tired out.”

I look around and see Lola dancing with Fara, Micheal and Elvis. Zizi just kept moving her head while seated on her seat sharing some jokes with Mina and Dafe. I looked up at Jay again, “erm, just give me some time. My stomach hurts.”

He laughed, “You sure ate a lot, please don’t get sick.”

“I’ll try not to.” I chuckled as he danced away.

 

Suddenly the cafe had turned to a kind of night club and everybody was dancing to DJ Exclusive’s music. The guy sure knew how to keep it banging as people kept screaming with oohs and ahhs at his every track change. I was amused.

I didn’t realize that the guys kept ordering more drinks or that I had been drinking probably too much until I made to stand and dance when the song ‘Diet‘ by Tiwa Savage and DJ Enimoney started to play.

“Whoop!” I exclaimed almost falling

“Be careful.” Mina shouted through the music

“Thank you, I probably have had too much to drink.”

“You better watch it, especially when you are out with these men. They drink like fishes and they don’t even feel  it.”

“I can imagine.” I laughed dancing all the same to the tune.

“Come on Zizi, dance with me.” I pulled up my friend who was nodding her head and smiling at me.

“Mimi, I am tired and in no mood to dance. I wish we were out with our other friends. You know I would have danced my heart out.”

“Well, you invited us here, so slog it out and shake that bum with me!”

She laughed hard as I managed to pull her up towards me and we started to dance. “That’s more like it gurl. Enjoy the night, you only live once!”

“Ode, shut up before I sit down right back.”

“You have always just been a big bully.” I grinned at her.

She tapped me in the middle of our dance, “What is it?” I asked

“Look at your friend.”

“Who?” I asked looking around

“Ode. Lola, look at Lola. See how she found herself a man, that girl is sharp unlike you dancing beside me as if I will be the one to marry you.”

We both laughed. “Really Zizi? Abeg allow Lola to have her fun. If she caught a fish, all the better for us.”

I reached down to pour myself more wine.

**********

DEJI

As I think silently of where next we should probably go to, I look at Zizi and Mimi dancing. I see the way Zizi smiles at whatever Mimi is saying to her and wish that I were Mimi at that point. The day I first saw her, I knew I had a battle ahead of me which would be a key situation but I just didn’t know that it would take me this long to keep figuring how to win the battle.

I have to say that I am quite pleased that she has brought Mimi and Lola. I wonder how the night would have panned out were they not here with her. I sigh as I sip on my drink.

One step at a time Deji. One step at a time.

I scroll through my phone and call my guy at Sailors. After a series of not picking up the call, I dip my phone back into my pocket. I look at Zizi again. She looks so pretty, her hair neatly tucked behind her ears.

I stand up to dance with Dafe as he shuffles towards me.

“Guy, what’s up?” He started

“I’m good man. What’s up with you?”

“Nothing. You think we should head out to another place?”

“Yeah. I think we should. I was just thinking about it.”

“So I’m thinking the beach would be fun tonight. It’s the last Friday of the month!”

“Oh yeah, that’s true…how did I forget? Wait, let’s check out the beach here.”

“Naa, I already went out there with Lola and Elvis. Ain’t much groove going on. It’s just the same thing as inside here.”

“So what beach are we going to go to?”

“We can try Elegushi, the other ones are too far off. Don’t want to scare the girls off.”

“Okay. Let’s see.” I look at my watch. It’s 2.53am. “Say we leave in the next 15 – 20 minutes? Is that okay?”

“Sure! Let me just clear up all our orders.” Dafe smiled as he began to walk away.

“Thanks man. You rock!”

“Anytime fam.”

Dafe has been my friend for 12 years now, he knows almost everything about me and has always been an extra helping hand. I couldn’t have gone anywhere without telling Dafe or bringing him along. We had refined into something much more than friends. This included Jay as well.

I walk towards Michael and Jay…

“Yo guys, we will be leaving soon.”

“Oh where to?” Michael asked

“The beach.” I grinned at Jay as he grinned back.

“Way to go, it’s about that time.” Jay said.

I reached out to Zizi and Mimi who were fully engrossed with Fara, Mina and Ralph laughing, dancing and talking.

“Hey, we will be leaving soon.”

“Oh beautiful.” Zizi muttered “Thank you.”

“Erm, we are heading to the beach at Elegushi.” I whispered to her

“Oh…” I saw the downcast look in her eyes “I thought you meant we were going home. Okay.”

I reached out to hold her hand as I looked on at her, “Are you tired?”

“I guess but it’s okay. Everyone sure looks happy about the beach thing.”

“No it’s not – if you are not okay with it, we can head home.”

“Naa, don’t worry. I will suck it up!” She put her two thumbs up and smiled but I wasn’t convinced. “Really Deji. It’s okay. At least, I made some friends.” She smiled.

“Ziola really…I can take you home.”

“…and miss out on the night beach fun? No way…I’m definitely going. I just fear that I might give you a lot of stress tomorrow.”

“I am up for it.” I responded almost immediately, “I want your stress.”

“Lol. Go jare.” She said laughing as she hit me playfully

I liked that she hit me that way. I touched her cheek lightly but she brushed it off as she moved closer to where Mimi was standing taking selfies with Mina and Ralph.

“Yo Dej, are we ready?” I heard Dafe’s voice behind me.

“I guess.” I clapped “Okay guys, time to bounce out.”

“Yayy…” I heard them all scream in unison as Fara led the way holding hands with Lola.

____________________________

Watch this space for more Episodes of Friday Nights.

Till I come your way again next time, this is ShiozeThinksOut.

Cheers!

Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey II

Click here to read the first episode on reckless journey if you are just joining us… Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey 1. Enjoy!

We get to Hard Rock Cafe as the darkness envelops us, Deji’s other friends were already at the entrance waiting for us. He circles towards the entrances while we all get down from the car as Deji hands over his keys to the valet to park the car.

“After you.” Jay mutters at us signalling with his right hand.

We all moved in and sat right at the middle of the room facing the DJ. Fortunately, DJ Exclusive was playing. This is going to be fun, I thought to myself.

Deji’s and his friends suddenly burst into bouts of laughter and I look up to see that some other friends had just joined in too armed with attractive looking ladies. They all spoke impeccable English and had the sort of class that came with above middle income earners. I smoothed my skirt as I looked away trying hard not to concern myself with how pretty the two new ladies were looking.

“Hello,” I heard someone whisper towards our direction.

“Hello” Lola started

“Hello” Zizi and I smiled back at the guy that bent himself towards our direction.

“Which one of you is Zizi?”

Lola and I pointed our fingers at Zizi smiling her way.

“Hi” he said again. “Deji won’t stop talking about you. I’m finally glad to be meeting you in person.”

“Thank you.” Zizi smiled “This is a surprising news.”

He looked on at us and smiled back. “I am Michael by the way, nice to meet you all. That is my girlfriend Fara, over there.” He said pointing at the small slender attractive lady seated by Elvis. She waved back and smiled.

He finally sat down beside Lola as Dafe ordered for an ice bucket of 3 bottles of Moet et Chandon rose. The menu sat right by us and we all placed our orders. I, for one, was really famished.

******

DEJI

I watch Zizi and her friends and wonder if they will loosen up around my friends. I wasn’t sure whether or not to invite my other friends over but I thought they needed the extra crowd to relax a bit more. They looked like they were cautious or something, I wasn’t sure. I see Michael easing up his way with the girls but then again, I’m hopeful they will come around.

Fara and Mina were not helpful in this game as they resorted to talking to each other. I wonder why they weren’t exchanging pleasantries with the girls. I looked at Mimi – she was smiling at the DJ nodding her head to the beat. Hmm, she was the feisty one among them. I saw how she nudged Zizi and Lola prompting them to move to the beat. I liked that she had soul. I looked at Zizi and wondered if I was boring her out. I nudged her slightly…

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Yes,” she replied “why wouldn’t I be?”

“You look tired and bothered. Do you want us to leave?”

“No, I’m just hungry. Don’t mind me, once I eat…I will come alive.” She chuckled

“Are you sure about that? We can go home if you want.”

“Lol, after you drag out all your friends and mine? Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

“Just look at Mimi, she’s having fun but I’m bothered that you are not and Lola is just trying to flow with her.”

“Just leave Mimi…she’s a very happy person. I’m sure she’s more hungry than I am. Wait till the food lands on the table.”

“Lol,” I said laughing “and she’s so tiny?”

“Keep joking with yourself.”

I looked at Zizi and smiled, “Will you dance with me after your food?”

“Oga, please shift.” She said literally pushing me away, “ask somebody else.”

“Example?”

“I don’t know. There are so many other people here you can ask.” She reached to sip her glass of wine.

I paused a while as I studied her, “What do I have to do to make you be the one to dance with me?”

“Nothing oo, nothing.”

“That’s not an answer Zizi.” I reached to tuck her hair beside her ear as she shifted uncomfortably.

“I don’t know Deji. There’s really no answer to your question.”

“I don’t get it. Why do you keep pushing me away Zizi? Is there something wrong with me?”

“My goodness, no! I never said that.”

“You are acting like it.”

She sighed “Deji, can we not do this here please. At least, I agreed to spend the Friday with you and see,” she pointed at her friends “to show how committed I am to it, I brought my friends along. Can we just do this a step at a time?”

“Okay…” I breathed shifting a bit away from her. “I just…hmm, try to enjoy yourself okay.”

I looked around, the others were clearly talking to each other now. I noticed Mina and Mimi were laughing and Lola was busy with Elvis. It was a good start. I beckoned to Fara, “Hey Fara.”

She looked up at me, “Yep?”

“Meet Zizi. Zizi, Fara.”

“Yes, Michael introduced us earlier” Fara smiled as she stretched and shook hands with Zizi.

“Hi Fara…” Zizi started “that’s a lovely weave you have on.”

“Really?” Fara grinned widely touching the weaves again to lay emphasis. I moved aside to let her sit besides Zizi as she stood up from where she sat. “And Mina just won’t let me breathe. She keeps telling me to take it off.”

“Why?” Zizia asked “I think it looks pretty on you.”

“I don’t know. Mina doesn’t like long hair, so she thinks my hair should have been done in a ponytail. She only likes it when I pack it all up.”

“Yeah, I think it will be more prettier that way but that doesn’t change the fact that it still looks pretty this way.”

“Thank you Zizi.” Mina said hugging her for the first time. “Finally, a contrary opinion to Mina.”

“Lol, who else doesn’t like it?”

“Michael! He thinks I should pack it all up but he has gotten used to me having it on this way. How am I supposed to flaunt my hair if its all packed up?”

“I wonder.”

They both laughed and talked for a while about work and other related stuffs. I looked on and shook my head to the sound of the music playing.

*****

MIMI

The food finally arrived and we all focused attention on our orders. I was clearly relieved because I thought the orders took too long to get to us. I looked at the Spicy Jollof rice and shrimps I ordered, they were really small. I felt I needed another plate.

When I raised this concern with Lola, she suggested we eat and then ask for another round if we felt up to it. I definitely knew I was going to feel up to it, so I beckoned on Dafe and asked if I could make another order after my first round because I didn’t want to finish my food only to realize I will not be entitled to another round. I needed to prepare my stomach.

When he said, “sure why not? Feel free to order more if you are not satisfied,” I jumped inside.

It was a relief to know that I could order as much as I wanted. With that knowledge, I set to eat. Of course, I did order more because I was still hungry.

Zizi nudged me, “Mimi, why are you embarrassing yourself? It’s 1.45am and you are still hungry.”

“Zizi, allow me. It’s not everyday you get good opportunities like this, besides what has the time got to do with my order? I’m awake and I’m hungry, shouldn’t I pacify my aching stomach?”

“Lol, pacifier” Lola chirped in after rolling her eyes at me, “I will surely dig in when that second order lands just so you know.”

“Oh, I see how it is. I order and you both dig in just to make me look like what?”

They both laughed.

____________________________________

Watch this space for more Episodes of Friday Nights.

Till I come your way again next time, this is ShiozeThinksOut.

Cheers!

Friday Nights; A Reckless Journey 1

It was Friday and like every other Friday nights, I didn’t know what I would be doing after work. I mean, I was not in any fancy relationships neither was I in the process of dating anyone. In fact, I was just a tiny loser and my Friday night was just going to be uneventful as always. Even though my friends and I tried to hang out on weekends, it just wasn’t every other weekend because, well – no money.

As I sulked through my office chores and prepared to clear my table, my phone rang.

“Who the hell was calling me?” I thought as I looked at my phone screen and saw my friend’s picture beaming back at me. I was not in the right mood to talk so I ignored the call. Again, my phone rang. A second, then a third time and then a fourth.

“Hello,” I muttered in frustration

“Hello Mimi,” she whispered

“Yes Zizi, what is it?”

“Ahn ahn, this one you are talking like this…are you okay?”

“Mtschew, yes jhoor. What is it?” I asked blankly

“When are you closing from work today?”

“6.30pm. Why?”

“Come to my office when you are done, I will be waiting for you.”

“Hian, just like that! Is there a party at your office, this one you are inviting me? What is happening at your office?” I smirked

“Lol, come when you are done jhoor. My friend wants to take us out.”

“Us?”

“Yes now, you, me and Lola. I told him that I was supposed to hang out with you guys and he said I should bring you guys along so that we can all hang out with his friends.”

“Liar liar, pants on fire! Were we supposed to hang out today and I didn’t know?” I asked rolling my eyes.

“Lol, abeg I didn’t want to be alone with the guy and he has been insisting all week, so Mimi I am dragging you along. Don’t make me come to your office because I will so harass you!”

I laughed for the second time today “Lol, how did I meet you again? See I am tired, I just want to go home and sleep. Does he have money?”

“Ha, yes oo…plenty money. Ode, stop now, shebi you will come to my office when you are done?”

“Oh Zizi, come and pick me please. I swear by the life of me…I am tired.”

“I will tell your boss to sack you because I don’t understand how he employed someone as lazy as you!”

“In your face! The work I do here is amazing, beat that.” I stuck out my tongue to the phone grinning. “Okay, I will let you know when I am done.”

“Good girl and bring chocolates on your way.”

“Get out of my phone, nonsense!”

She hung up laughing and I wondered just how I got friends like her.

******

Sure thing, the day rolled by and it was time to leave. I looked at my watch, it was 6.40pm. Shoot! I hurriedly said goodbye to the rest of my colleagues, hurried towards the elevator and just then my phone rang – Zizi.

“Hello,” I breathed “Zizi, I’m just about to leave the office, you will see me shortly.”

“Ode, shut up jare. I’m in front of your office with Lola. You are very lucky because I was just about to get a pass through to the 5th floor to come in and harass the daylight out of you.”

“Oh well, my God is still alive.” I laughed “I’ll be with you girls shortly.”

“Beautiful!”

I reached the ground floor just in good time and saw my two friends grinning at me. After we exchanged hugs and pleasantries, I looked at the both and asked, “so where to now?”

“Call an Uber or a Taxify, we are going to Lekki.” Zizi said

“Naa naa, not Uber – call the Taxify.” Lola chirped in

“Why? What is the difference?” Zizi asked

“Because Taxify is cheaper!” Lola and I responded.

“Whatever, sha call us a cab to take us out of here.”

“Wait,” I said looking at Zizi “why am I the one calling us a cab?”

“Lol, because you made us come here to get you; so you will return the favor by paying for our ride.” Lola responded.

“How is that playing fair?”

“Question for the gods.” Lola said while kissing me by the cheeks.

“Friends like this are not good for my account balance, I need new friends!”

Lola and Zizi burst out laughing as I tried to get a Taxify. “As if you can get rid of us babe, we are stuck for life.” Zizi said smiling as she hugged me.

Soon enough, the Taxify driver arrived and we headed out into the Friday night-life of the Lagos troops.

******

We arrived at Twin waters in good time as the Taxify guy maneuvered through the building traffic all the way from Ikoyi.

“Zizi, where is he?” Lola asked

“He said they will be at Rufus and Bee.”

“Erm, Zizi but we are at Twin Waters, shouldn’t we be at Rufus and Bee?”

“Fowl!” I laughed “Rufus and Bee is inside the Twin waters building.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Sia’s club.” Zizi chuckled as we walked into the building and took the escalator to the first floor.

True enough, Zizi’s friend and his friends were at the bowling game point having a good time when we joined in.

“Hey Zizi,” the semi-tall guy hugged her, “hi…you made it. I thought you wouldn’t come.” He said laughing into Zizi’s ear.

She pulled away, smiling back. “I said I was coming with my friends and you said that was okay, so here we are.”

She pushed us forward and started, “Meet my friends, Lola and Mimi. Mimi, Lola, meet Deji; the guy I told you about.”

“Hmm, I see someone has been talking about me. Hi Lola.” He reached to shake her, “nice meeting you.”

He looked on at me “Hi Mimi,” stretching forth his palms “nice to meet you as well.”

“Pleasure is all mine Deji. By the way, your palms are so soft!”

“Thank you Mimi. These are my friends – Dafe, Jay and Elvis.” He said pointing to each one.

We all exchanged pleasantries and sat down at the cozy spot the guys picked out. Lola and I were not sure if this was a good idea or if the mix was a good mix. Trying not to show our concern before Zizi who was playing catch up with the other guys and getting to know the game, we resorted to pressing our phones.

Just then, we heard Deji say “What will you girls like to have? Should I signal the waiter to get the menu?”

Zizi looked at us while we signaled back in the affirmative with our eyes. “Yes please…let’s see what they have.” She said to him.

The Waitress took our orders and left. After a while, Deji looked at me and said “I see you are like the head of the group. Why don’t you tell your girls they can have something to eat? I doubt you just want to drink after a long Friday at the office.”

I looked at him and smiled “Oh thank you for your concern, drinks will be fine for now.”

“Okay if you say so.” He stood up and clapped at the guys “So who is winning this game? Is it my turn yet?” They laughed at him and told him he was up after Dafe.

******

Our orders came in soon enough and I was glad for the distraction. To be honest, I needed to sleep and sitting down looking pretty didn’t cut it for me. Jay came to us and smiled, “Hey, you girls want to bowl with us or what?”

Lola and Zizi smiled him away but I was going to sleep anytime and I needed the distraction, so I stood up after saying yes and decided to play the next round which was Dafe’s turn. He looked at me and asked, “have you bowled before?”

“Naa, I replied but I can try.”

“That’s the spirit girl. So let’s get you your pair of shoes.”

I looked at him and he pointed at his feet. I suddenly noticed that everyone bowling had on the same kind of shoes, so I asked pointing at his feet, “Why are we made to wear these?”

“For comfort and balance on the bowling floor. It tends to be slippery sometimes, so they give you a special kind of sneaks for the game.”

“Oh, right.”

We got my size of shoes after paying for it and I headed to the bowling floor with my friends cheering right after me. After learning the basics of how to choose the right ball and how to swing my arm, I set myself in motion and swung the ball at the 10 pin target. Behold, I was able to hit out 8 pins at once, I was excited! At the second round, I hit off just 1 pin leaving 1 pin out and I just thought to myself, what a loser!

The guys looked at me and Dafe asked again, “are you sure you are a first timer in this game because you hit the pins right at it.”

“What can I say? I am just a talented lady even though I didn’t hit off on all the pins.”

I smiled back to my seat as Zizi decided she was going to play the next round. The night finally took a fine turn and we found ourselves relaxing and having fun. We played several more games from the car race to the basketball dunk to the tennis table to the dancing lights etc., and forgot that time was rolling right by us.

Just then, Lola said to us “Guys, are we not going home today? It’s already 11pm oo.”

“11 what?” I asked as I looked at my wrist watch and looked back at Zizi. “Zizi what’s up? We have to go oo. These guys don’t look like they are going anytime soon.”

“Yikes, I totally forgot. Let me talk to Deji.”

******

Lola and I began to wonder what to tell our parents and how these guys would somehow convince us to stay the night playing and partying. True to our words, Zizi returned with Deji and Elvis.

“Hey girls, you want to go home?”

“Yes,” I replied “we didn’t plan to stay out Deji, I’m afraid.”

“Come on, the night has not even started and you girls are yet to have a proper dinner. Can’t you call home and tell them you may not be coming till tomorrow?”

I sighed as I looked on at Zizi and Lola who clearly were waiting on me to say something. “I don’t know Deji. I mean we didn’t pack extra clothing and stuff. How are we supposed to stay out?”

“Is that the only problem?” Elvis chirped in “I can arrange something for you girls to wear tomorrow. Toiletries, we can buy them on the way.”

Lola started grinning and I looked at Zizi who seemed to not be considering the idea. “Well” I started “I can call my mum and tell her I’m with Zizi and I won’t be coming home but I don’t know if Zizi will like to stay out, so look on at her.”

Zizi looked at me like she was going to kill me and Lola, as she tried to smile it away at Deji and Elvis who were waiting for her answer. “Okay fine, so where will we stay?” She shrugged.

Deji laughed, “At my place of course, I have a large apartment and two extra rooms I never use, so feel free.”

“So it’s settled then?” Elvis asked.

“I guess.” Lola responded.

“Right, so where were we?”

“Something about food…” I said.

“Oh yes, let me get the rest of the guys and we will head out to where we can have dinner.” Elvis answered walking away with Deji.

******

“You people are not serious oo” Zizi started.

“Who invited who?” Lola asked.

“You are really mad I swear.” Zizi continued. “What is wrong with you people now? We barely know these guys!”

“That makes all of us Zizi.” I replied opening my palms to the air. “Let’s just try to have fun and look out so that nobody poisons our drink and food or try to rape us.”

“As in eh.” Lola laughed.

“All right girls, let’s get out of here!” Deji’s voice echoed and so we all left the building with us riding in Deji’s Mercedes Benz SUV while the others drove their own separate cars.

_________________

Watch this space for more Episodes of Friday Nights.

Till I come your way again next time, this is ShiozeThinksOut.

Cheers!

 

Love & Heartbreak Series: No 2

This series is a compilation of beautifully crafted writings by members of the Literary Cafe (TLC) Plus as part of their daily tasks. So the second series is from Chiamaka; the lover & Saheed; the heart-breaker. I hope you enjoy reading it.

PS. This is a work of fiction. However, the characters are real.

If you did not read the first series, you can click here – Love & Heartbreak Series: No. 1 to read. Cheers!

———-

FROM CHIAMAKA:

Dear Lover,

You know
How high and fortified the walls were
How beaten and shredded and broken my heart was
How strong the resolve- not to fall victim to love’s vain promises- was
How intensely I fanned the fear of vulnerability.

You came
Wielding Cupid’s famed arrow, pointed and precise
Neglecting how the signs screamed red
You shot directly at my core
Permeating my pneuma with the ingenuity of your love,
Like the Trojan horse, sans the deceit

Your deep throated laughter,
Whilst your head is thrown backwards,
With your eyes glistering with tears,
Has become my favourite sound

And you know what my favourite sight has become?
Watching your face light up,
With the blush cutting through your dark skin,
When I call you mine

You, my hot glass of dark chocolate,
Topped with honey and hazelnut
Our destinies have become so intertwined,
Like Siamese twins defying all neurologic procedures

And just a stare in your eyes,
Gives me a wholesome glimpse of our forever
Filled with laughter and friendship
And surfing on sandy beaches

And even as I write this,
I long for you with all my being
Your warm, alluring lips,
As they press against and interlock mine
Your soft, sweaty palms, as they enclose mine

And as they rummage through my frame,
Sending sparks of pleasure throughout my body
And the way my body helplessly submits,
And my defences collapse like a pack of cards,
whenever we are together

And in our most intimate moments,
When you look into my eyes…
And hold my gaze…
With your warm breath falling on my skin…
And say you love me,
Saheed,
I am so convinced it’s not a bromide.

 

SAHEED TO CHIAMAKA

Dear Paramour,

Indeed I felt the jab of Cupid’s arrows.
I laugh, and my face lights up.

The flames of destiny passed a warm loving heat for me.
My heart is stirred by a meeting of the lips.

Those intimate moments are the highlights of my day.
The gaze into the eyes of my true love,
The whisper of my genuine affections,
The sweetness of embrace.

But. Alas, you were right.
It’s not you, it’s me,
You were right and I was wrong.
Mere cliches and platitudes,
Unfortunately, these are not

You were right to have fanned
The flames of fear and fortifications.
You were right about the Trojan horse.
All of this, I did to get your sweet sister.

You were just a means to an end…
Every passion I feel,
I feel not for you
My affections are really for your sister.

 

Kindly remember to drop your comments below. Thank you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love & Heartbreak Series: No. 1

This series is a compilation of beautifully crafted writings by members of the Literary Cafe (TLC) Plus as part of their daily tasks. So the first series is from Debbie; the lover & Daniel; the heart-breaker. I hope you enjoy reading it.

PS. This is a work of fiction. However, the characters are real.

————-

FROM DEBBIE 

Letter 1

Daniel Darling,

If I were to tell you how much I loved you,
Then the waters of the ocean would dry up
The lands would be empty of sand
And I would still not be able to quantify
My love for you.

If I were to add you and me
I would subtract our clothes
And maybe let you divide my thighs
So we can multiply the times you make heavy
My love for you.

If I were to whisper in your ears
The strong passionate love you make me feel
Every time our breath shares a common space
It would be that my tongue has lost its mind
And I am prepared to explode in satisfaction
Of my love for you.

If I were to take the shape of your hands
I will gladly roam your body at every bath
At every scratch of your itchy face,
I’ll caress your cheeks and let you bite
The fingers that is me when you feel nervous
Because of my love for you.

Oh Dan, the night is getting cold without you by my side
But then I remember I met you yesterday
And that you left your warm hugs with me
So I run to grab the shirt I wore to the event
And lay it beside me…it smells of you
It smells so good my heart burst with excitement.

Oh Dan, let me paint your body with my love
Let me drink of the alcoholic goodness served by your lips
Oh please wrap me in the spell of your warm embrace and cuddles
For even though nothing lasts forever
My memory can last forever in your embrace
Just hold me tight, please.

SHE  STILL GOES ON:

Images culled from Google.
Letter 2

Daniel Sugarplum,

I have never felt this way before
For someone I really truly adore
No matter what I get from you
My passion won’t vanish anymore
For I am wildly in love with you Dan.

Your abs and beards are just a masterpiece
For which I will give my life and more
Your smile just shines up my day
When nothing goes the right way.

All I need right now Dan
is just to embrace you with the pretty face
Just a sip of your almost pink lips
While my arms wait around your hips
Oh how madly in love with you am I Dan

I want to feel your body shiver
Your heart jumping off your chest
I want to smell your gorgeous scent
Kiss you in each and every inch
I want to feel you rise below
Only at my presence & every touch

Oh! Dan, I love the way you hold your lower lip
Between the jaws while you think
I miss the act I repeat to tease you
Your words echoing all the time
Still, I die to hear those words from you

Oh! My love where are you? Where are you?
Come Daniel let’s consummate this love already!

 

DANIEL REPLIES DEBBIE:

Dear Debbie,

Is it you?
Is it me?
As far as my uncertainty goes,
one thing is sure,

I do not love you
Never have, never will
I read your letters,
The words made my eyes roll more times
than a pair of casino dice on a Friday night

Could I love you?
I can’t do the impossible
I was like you once,
Young, foolish and in love

I loved a woman
a woman who said she loved me,
She left me in a pool of tears,
and with a black hole where my heart used to be

I know you will say you love me enough for both of us,
Your love, surplus as it is, means nothing to me
When you say you love me and all my flaws
I laugh,
Life is not a romance novel or an Ed Sheeran song

Some things cannot be fixed
I am not a pet project or a sick puppy
I am a Yoruba demon,
a thing to be exorcised not cuddled

Sister Deborah,
this is not me breaking your heart
this is me setting the records straight,
you fell in love with a wrecking ball
now your heart is just like mine,
in pieces.

——–

Please don’t forget to leave your comments below, the writers are happy to know what you think.

Thank you.

 

FACADE – It all makes sense now!

This is a post written by a friend of mine. I loved it and I thought to share it with you guys. Enjoy!

*****

I was fascinated by the way he writes. His well articulated diction, the compelling aura of his message and his astounding imagination. I asked him where he learnt to write and told him how I wish to be taught. He said, “Depression made me a writer. I put my trauma in writing, listing all the things I’ve gone through. They applauded it as a work of art but unknown to them, I was a dying man. It all makes sense now!

She always laughed so hard. The blistering dimples on her cheeks that pull her perfectly shaped lips which always give way for the revelation of her sparkling teeth, enchants every onlooker. I told her how I admired her laughter and she said, “That’s the only tool I’ve got to fight cardiovascular disease. I lost my baby a few minutes after birth and my life never remained the same thereafter.” I was shocked. It was not just laughter after all. It all makes sense now!

He is always mean. His fierce face dispels any slightest acquaintance. He is like evil. I summoned the courage to ask him why the display of such repelling identity. He said, “I’ve always had a receptive psyche, putting up smiles even in the midst of adversity until the people I cared about called me triviality.” Now, that’s painful. It all makes sense now!

He was consistently late to class. Sometimes, he was never there for weeks. He was always the last to pay tuition fees. He is often moody. I felt concerned and confronted him. He said, “Those times I never came to class, I was at the building site, mixing cement and gravel to raise my tuition fee. Except I missed those classes and consistently come late to class, I would be in class no more.” I was move with so much sympathy. It all makes sense now!

Her dad is extravagant. Spending lavishly on anything he felt would satisfy his crave for happiness. He is extremely wasteful. But it doesn’t happen without a disturbing cause. He lost his beautiful wife to a strange ailment. Not even his envious wealth could save her. The cold hands of death stole her from him. Wealth meant nothing to him anymore. “Life is a roller coaster,” he said. It all makes sense now!

“I am committed to my job” she said. She executed her task with excellent performance. I was fascinated by her diligence. But I noticed the speed at which she abandons her “committed job” each time she gets an invitation for any social event, even at the risk of being sacked. I shared my observations, stating my scepticism on her perceived fondness for her job. She said, “I’m really not obsessed with my job as it seems entirely. I am getting old and I so much yearn for marriage. I want to have a family but the antipathy from men as a result of my independence and career success often confine me to my office desk.” “Is it a transgression for a lady to be purposeful” she asked. It’s so unfortunate for such mediocre men who find such women in our society as an anomaly. What an antiquated mindset. It all makes sense now!

We all virtually live in disguise, tinkered and conquered by situational occurrences that threaten our genuine identity. We are all at war with self revelation. I hope we find peace. Even if they don’t make sense, find a way to understand.

–

I just hope I made sense.

Edwin Ugwuodo.

———————-

PS: Thank you for stopping by!

I hope the above made sense to you?

Cheers.

Black Panther: My Wakanda Romance

I am overly excited to be writing on this topic, so I will get straight to it. If you haven’t watched the movie, beware – SPOILER ALERT!!! If you have, chill and take a ride with me – leggo.

CREDIT: Google

This movie begins in the early 1990’s and shows us some really mystic scene. There are strange projections afterwards and some little kids left amazed wondering what is going on. Fast forward to the present day, we are rewarded with the Black Panther himself being told by the head of the Dora Milaje to come home and assume his throne since the king – his father- is dead. The interjections between his going back to Wakanda – his hometown and helping Nakia finish off her mission in Sambisa Forest – Nigeria, is truly spectacular [no one should start off on telling me how maybe Sambisa was poorly portrayed, I haven’t been there].

CREDIT: Google

Quietly but emphatically, the movie Black panther shows and portrays Africa as the cradle of human endeavour from architecture and design, to fashion and tool-making. The amazing show of traditional power and the African myth on the power of herbs, the lands of the forefathers & gods and the power of our very surroundings – water, air, sunlight and plants. The role of Forest Whitaker as the traditionalist throne-crowner and his costume blew me away. Wow!

CREDIT: Google

The entire film was a romance journey for me – a trip down Africa lane. It showed me just how rich the African culture is. It showed me how much strength we possess. It showed me the power of love for our motherland, our people and how far that can take us. This was portrayed by the character of Okoye [Dania Gurira]; the head of the Dora Milaje, Nakia [Lupita Ny’ongo], the Black Panther’s love interest, Ramonda [Angela Basette] the mother of the Black Panther and Shuri [Leila Wright], the Black Panther’s sister and amazing tech designer.

CREDIT: Google

Wakanda showed how beautiful the different tribes in Africa look when they embrace each other in love and become one reckoning force. Wakanda became that true love for Africa that we never truly have, that has never really been united until we Africans embrace our differences and harness it as one. This guy below though, made me wonder how he ate, talked or even brushed!

CREDIT: Google

In as much as the Wakanda romance – love map amongst the various African tribes – was truly abounding in Black Panther, it also showed me just how much and how far we Africans can go when anger fuels our drive. This was portrayed by the amazing character cast of Erik Killmonger [Michael B. Jordan] who felt betrayed by the Wakanda people because the last king had murdered his father and decided that he was going to overthrow the Blank Panther’s throne. See how much he studied, the military school he attended, the tricks he pulled and the manipulative acts he perpetuated to gain the hearts of the Wakanda people into letting him in to Wakanda. Also by the character of W’kabi [Daniel Kaluuya], Okoye’s love who felt the Black Panther was not the kind of king that needed to sit on the throne.

 

CREDIT: Google

The movie also showed the power of alliances and International relationships. This was portrayed by the character of M’baku [Winston Duke] and Everett [Martin Freeman]. It showed just how great the Africa man is in hospitality, forgiveness and empathy. The movie portrayed that the Africa man is able to form international friendships to help in time of need and crisis and just how far we can go in synergy with one another if we all accept our individual strengths.

CREDIT: Google

M’baku was clearly one of my favorite character in the movie and I particularly enjoyed the scene where he told Everett that his people eat human beings [Lol]. Plus the part where he kept barking in disgust after Everett said something. Lol, I couldn’t stop laughing. This guy is just the best surprise I got from my Wakanda romance – I’m in love.

CREDIT: Google

From this movie alone, I fell in love with the mind of the African man all over again. The desire to be innovative against all odds and show to the world just how great we too can be. The desire to defend our own and stand up tall no matter what.

CREDIT: Google

The power to recreate at will what our minds can conjure and damn the odds. The power to love and yet not allow it crush what we know we ought to do right. The power of diplomacy.

CREDIT: Google

See how Okoye defended T’challa even when Erik Killmonger and W’kabi were fighting against him. She stood by the throne and defended her king without fear or favor.

CREDIT: Google

Did I forget to tell you how amazing my Wakanda romance went when it showed and portrayed to me the power of the black woman? How the saying wherever a successful man, there beside him is a woman was truly showcased? Oh, the Dora Milaje’s were a sight to see, a force to reckon with. I mean, I literally could not take my eyes off the cinema screen for want of not missing a single scene or hear a single word.

CREDIT: Google

Anyways. Let’s talk about the use of cinematography. The entire scenery was fantastic, from the beginning till the end. The choice of music was very good. I particularly loved the waterfall scenes, especially the initiation day. I felt really present and it felt real to me, I was literally been romanced by the setting [lol].

The way the entire cast was arranged on that scene was something spectacular. During the fight with M’baku, I thought Prince T’challa would be thrown over but to my utter dismay, he won. I guess the scriptwriter and the producer had something else in store for their audience and boy, was it amazing?

CREDIT: Google

Now let’s chat about the cast Black Panther gave us. This incredible, marvelous, fantastic, amazing cast.  Unlike most giant comic book blockbusters, the cast of Black Panther is a true ensemble – the producers did a great casting job. Each cast is a true heavyweight of acting, but each allows the other cast to breathe; no-one dominates at any time unless it is part of the story-line.

CREDIT: Google

Prince T’challa – the Black Panther was amazing in his role. From the beginning till the end – each time he appeared on screen, I didn’t want him to leave. My favorite line of his was when he said to his father in the ancestry land – I am not ready to leave my people to join you here, I will go back to Wakanda and right your wrongs [I may not have gotten the lines right…].

CREDIT: Google

Anyway, this post has gone on way too long. See Black Panther. See Black Panther in the cinemas. This is one film that needs the audience experience.

Oh by the way, here are some of my amazing lines from the movie – SPOILER ALERT!!!

Shuri to T’challa: Hit it again. One more time.

T’challa to Shuri: What are you doing?

Shuri: I am recording. For research purposes. [She smiles to herself knowing what next and then T’challa gets kicked off by the panther suit and falls to the floor].

T’challa to Shuri: Delete that footage you recorded

________

M’baku to Everett: Oh we eat humans…if you say one more word, I’ll feed you to my children [and then he fell into a feat of laughter seeing how shocked Everett was]. Oh, I’m just kidding – we are vegetarians!

Okoye to T’challa: Don’t freeze when you see her.

T’challa’s response: I never freeze!

King T’chaka [T’challa’s father] to T’challa: You are a good man, with a good heart and it is hard for a good man to be king.

Everett to T’challa: You are telling me that the king of a third world country runs around in a bulletproof catsuit?

Erik to T’challa: Our forefathers knew death was better than bondage. It is better to die than to be in bondage.

Shuri to T’challa: This corset is really uncomfortable, so can we all wrap this up and go home?

T’challa to Nakia: You would make a great queen if you are not so stubborn.

Nakia to T’challa: I would make a great queen because I am stubborn, if that is what I wanted.

Okoye to T’challa: I want to get this ridiculous thing off my head [Lol, she was referring to her wig during a fight].

Shuri to T’challa & Nakia when they brought in Everett: Great, another broken white boy for us to fix!

Shuri to Everett when he finally wakes up from his coma: Don’t scare me like that, Colonizer!

Everett to T’challa: I have seen gods fly. I have seen men build weapons that I couldn’t even imagine. I have seen aliens drop from the sky. But I have never seen anything like this.

Shuri to T’challa: When you said you will take me to California, I thought you meant Coachella.

*****

CREDIT: Google

Movie Title: Black Panther

Director: Ryan Coogler

Nigeria Release Date: 15th February 2018.

Major Cast: Chadwick Boseman – Prince T’Challa [The Black Panther]

Dania Gurira – Okoye [Black Panther’s loyal guard – head of the Dora Milaje]

Lupita Nyong’o – Nakai [Black Panther’s love interest]

Letitia Wright – Shuri [Black Panther’s Tech sister]

Michael Jordan – Erik Killmonger [Black Panther’s outcast cousin]

Plot: After the death of his father, T’Challa returns home to the African nation of Wakanda to take his rightful place as king. When a powerful enemy suddenly reappears, T’Challa’s mettle as king — and as Black Panther — gets tested when he’s drawn into a conflict that puts the fate of Wakanda and the entire world at risk. Faced with treachery and danger, the young king must rally his allies and release the full power of Black Panther to defeat his foes and secure the safety of his people.

CREDIT: Google

PS: Have you seen Black Panther? Did you enjoy it?

What are your thoughts about the movie? Was it amazing or just there?

I will love to read your comments below.

Wakanda Forever.

Flirty: Will You Shoot Your Shot?

Hey guys, will you shoot your shot even when the odds are really against you?

Yeah you read that right and I agree that this is now a budding sector this year…the act of shooting your shot whether career wise, in creating a fantasy relationship or even pitching forward a somewhat crazy idea.

If you don’t still have an idea of what shooting your shot is, it typically means taking the bold initiative to getting what you want no matter the circumstance or the possible outcome. For instance, when a basketballer dunks the ball, he is not entirely sure whether or not the ball will succesfully dive into the net, right? But he takes a shot anyways and hope the outcome is a great dunk-goal. So also it is in life, you do not just sit, wait and see what happens – you take your shot at the possible opportunity.

Now like I stated above, you can shoot your shot in different levels. The game you choose to play on, is entirely up to you. So for career development or growth, I will totally shoot my shot with all bravity. If the opportunity available is something I see as great, I wouldn’t even think twice. If I am rejected, I will try and try again till I am successful. I will use a different approach if I don’t get it the first time and I will totally go for it!

However, when it comes to relationships, I doubt I will ever shoot my shot. I know that rejection doesn’t mean I’m not a great person but I will rather the guy shoot his shot at me. Yeah, I agree…I am definitely old school, sorry to burst your bubbles. I mean, if I ever have a crush on a guy, I will definitely kill that feeling especially when I know that the guy has someone else or that the feeling will never go any head way. Thankfully, I am able to kill a crush feeling on the onset without losing my mind.

Hey but if you think you can take a go at it, why not? Don’t be afraid to shoot your shot – you never know if the guy/girl is the shy type that cannot come forward or has not really noticed your existence because somehow, well they just aren’t that observant. [Well, that will be odd.]

So here are a few tips to take a possible shoot at your potential shot – who may eventually be a spouse…

1. You could send an SMS or a DM to that crush via IG, Twitter, Snapchat, Whatsapp etc. Follow them on social media, stalk them if can – I know people that do this tbh. Sometimes the first shot doesn’t go rfight but don’t take this personally – Thomas Edison didn’t succeed on his first try.

2. Do a little research about that crush so you can get aware of what you are getting into. Is the person a person you can interface with properly on social media or just personally? If yes, choose the suitable option.

3. Shoot your shot with a purpose and not basically for the fun of it. Think about what you want from it and go on from there.

4. When shooting, choose the right greeting. Don’t start with a basic ‘Hi’ or ‘hey You’ because there are chances that you will receive a ‘Hi’ back…so how do you continue from there? The easiest way to do this is usually to continue from a recent conversation or responding to a particular post made by the person – the shot becomes easier from there, especially when you key into what they were trying to say.

5. Keep your shot more on the person’s personality rather than on the physical. Research shows that when you compliment someone on their choice on something, it sticks deeper rather than a regular ‘oh, I love your smile’ or ‘oh, your butt is amazing’.

So there guys, 5 tips on how you can shoot your shot. YOLO right? So here are my questions to you…

• Would you shoot your shoot?
• If yes, have you ever tried to do that? Did it create something good? Was it worth it?
• If no, why not?

Oh and  for the relationship aspect, there is a new game called ‘Shootyourshot’ to test how smooth your game is at http://www.shootyourshotgame.com.

I will love to read your comments on the box below. What are your thoughts? Yes, Rofiah did a post on this here and Temitoria here as well. You guys should totally check it out.

Thanks for stopping by.

 

 

 

 

10 Signs That You Might Be a Cat [Cee-C]

Hey guys, so with the on-going trend of controversy and drama going on in BBNaija 3 – tagged Double Wahala 2018, it is no doubt that ever since the show this year began, Cee-C, [our cat for purpose of this post] and Tobi has been on everyone’s lips.

If you don’t watch the show, at least you would have heard or read people’s nagging about the duo on social media via either Twitter [being the most current and active], Instagram, Facebook and even whats-app.

It is even assumed that Madam Cee-C has locked Tobi up in a bottle somewhere in her luggage and the Yoruba Demon Association of Dapper Men [YODADAM] have painfully denied that Tobi is a member of their prestigious group.

Now with further ado guys, here are Ten [10] signs that you are actually a cat [Cee-C].

1. You are secretly judging people all the time and guilt tripping them into feeling that they did something wrong to you. No matter how much they try to apologize, you remain irritated.

2. You always like people begging you no matter the circumstance as you are always right. However, you hardly forgive as they come begging right back the next day for the same offence. You are always the Jury and the judge!

3. If you had it your way after any argument, your job would be to nap without a care. Your Partner must join you because they will have no choice. You are the cat and they are the mouse. It’s your perfect game-plan.

4. You prefer to be left alone regardless of how the other person feels. You prefer to ignore the other person’s emotions and your job is to constantly curve making them feel they are dumb. Of course, they are…why else are they with you? Love? Pfft!

5. You are constantly angry and aloof for no apparent reason. Your partner just needs to stay loyal at every point in time. They are not allowed friends other than you and they are to nod at your every word.

6. You suck at making decisions. To love or not to love? You hate to show your partner how much you desire them but you hate any other person doing that in your stead. You always want your partner to touch you but you don’t understand why you should touch them back or reciprocate the feeling. You kind of hate PDA even in private. Sigh.

7. You are always hungry and wanting people to feed you. Even if they cannot feed you, you want them to always be there while you prepare your meal. You don’t care if your partner has other things to do. Once the cat is hungry, the mouse just has to stay put.

8. You are constantly on the look out for what your partner is up to. You hate when people look at your partner with deserving eyes. Your jealousy is 250% over 100% and you do not even care to hide it from anybody.

9. You are possessive and never give your partner breathing space, even if it means suffering yourself. Your partner dares not stray far off. The cat keeps watch on the mouse after all, innit?

10. You will hurt anyone who care to stand in your way and that of your already suffering partner. He can only be yours and nobody else! Yes, that is right and anything that tries to put asunder will be striked!

There, you have it. Ten signs that show you might or are even a Cat [Cee-c]. Oh and by the way, Temitoria wrote something like this on her blog post here. Just click to read.

Do you agree? Please leave your comment in the box below. Thank you for stopping by.

Enjoy your Friday.

Public Proposals – Fancy or Nah

Hey guys…so it has been a while up in here. *Clears the dusty air* Phew, I know I have not been as active I should have been on here and I hope that I will do better this year. Happy new year guys, by the way. I hope that this is THAT year for you…yes YOU!

So there has been this recent trend of people proposing to their girlfriends and some to their boyfriends in public where people in turn, video and post on social media for all to see the tremendous joy of the newly engaged couples – and the both parties are happy about the outcome obviously.

However, the problem becomes – what happens to the person proposing when the subject of the proposal refuses to accept the ring embedded in a box?

Does it put their relationship in a fix?

Does the relationship cease to exist?

Does it mean there will have to be some sort of break period before the proposer proposes again – this time maybe more planned?

All these seemingly questions that should be thought through before the act of public proposal commences and yet we still see so many public proposals. What would you do if you were proposed to publicly – be you female or male, as is the trend nowadays? *eyes-rolling-till-it-falls-off-towards-the-floor*

Would you scream, cry and then shout for joy?

Would you act surprised as should be the case or maybe you already knew it was coming?

Would you say no to the proposer and walk away from the embarrassing scene?

Would you rather gather up the proposer, hug him/her, not say a single word and lead him/her away from the scene of crime?

What would you rather do in such a situation? Question then becomes, how sure should you be before proposing in public?

Let’s note that proposals can be of three types – Nigerians we are definitely too much.

1. Secret Proposal – This is a proposal done secretly between the two lovebirds in the privacy of a hotel room, the man’s place, a quiet dinner for two with the entire restaurant reserved for them both, on a boat cruise with the two lovers alone, a private jet – where the man gets to fly the jet w/o interference from one hostess or pilot or better yet, his pilot is that loyal, so the word will never get out. There, you get the picture.
2. Private intimate proposal – This is a proposal done in private between the two lovebirds in the presence of family and friends in a serene environment specially picked out for the occasion. Usually organized and arranged by friends of the female party or male party – if it is a male that will be proposed to *rolls-eye*. This could occur in a private beach, at a family and friends weekend getaway/vacation, on a boat cruise with mutual friends, at a friendship reunion – where all mutual friends will be present but away from the eyes of the entire world, at a special restaurant or at the girl’s or boy’s [I really don’t like that I have to keep putting male in the picture] home or at the place where the lovebirds first met but this time with only family and friends present.
3. Public absurd proposal –   This is a proposal done in OPEN public my people. A proposal where the entire masses are involved, irrespective of whether or not mutual friends are present. This kind of proposal is usually an open surprise or a planned surprise – I don’t even know. This usually occurs at the public shopping mall, at the Airport, inside a public airplane, at a bus park, at the Church, at the cinemas – sometimes during a movie [goodness], at the office, on the main express road/by the streets, at a game, at an event/public show, in a public eatery – maybe inside cold stone ice-cream, somewhere on her pizza, inside her jollof rice or inside the wine glass [sigh], at a resort, at the amusement park – anywhere that is public as long as the heart want what it wants, right? Yeah, right!

I definitely do not ever want a PUBLIC proposal because they are not fancy or cute and it seems like utter blackmail. It is a manipulative and awkward way of getting me to say yes – if this ever happens to me, I will walk away without a single word to the proposer.

So here are pictures of public proposals gone wrong…

Picture Credit: Google; YouTube

Please proposer’s, know your partner. Do your due diligence – I cannot emphasize this enough. ALWAYS make a hint of what you are likely to do, understand what your other half would want and like, discuss the possibility or not of a proposal, respect their privacy and save yourself from the embarrassment of a ‘NO’ or from the person walking away from you and leaving you to the masses to ridicule and pity. Don’t go overboard with your emotions, please keep them in check. Don’t be like the lady who proposed to her boyfriend at ICM [Ikeja City Mall] of all places. Nada!

So, I ask again…what kind of proposal would you rather prefer guys?

I’d love to read your comments below, so please leave me a message in the comment box.

Thank you for stopping by.

 

Ten Things I would do If I Become President…

So I was just on my own, when a colleague of mine asked me this question “I am kind of conducting a poll and I will like to know…what would be the one thing you would do if you became the President of Nigeria?”

I looked my colleague, half thinking that at least, this could be some trick question but alas it wasn’t. So after thinking, I thought to write up a post in response to the question.

Here are 10 things I would love to do for my country if ever I became the President. I know that they may be hard to achieve but they are genuinely what I pray any president would at least, think of to do.

So here goes:

1. First, I would re-model the Educational Curriculum in the Secondary schools: I believe that kids in Nigeria are made to study irrelevant stuffs, way too much than they should.  In Primary schools, kids will be taught the 1999 constitution and history of Nigeria. I would put in place a system where kids go to secondary schools where they can pick up their interests right from day one [whether it be flying, reading, making inventions, solving arithmetic, discussing political issues, understanding the human body, creating new designs, dancing/acting, talking, building things, writing, learning new languages etc.] The common entrance exam will be a test of the kids natural and true interests – activities the child would naturally enjoy and then excel in. When the kid is graded based on his/her interest, he/she will be given schools of choice that accommodate such interest and the parents will determine which of the schools to pick based on their pocket. Of course, I would naturally need the assistance of a bright educationist to achieve the right curriculum.
2. I will build a water dam in the six (6) geo-political zones to help generate access to electricity 24/7.
3. Then, I would put in place Social Security Numbers for every member of the Country: I believe that we need to get this SSN to enable us identify each and every Nigerian citizen who will get a Tax Identification Number [TIN], enable the government verify where they work and live, and then give them access to state WIFI and Light, give entitlements where need be [to certain age groups of course] and in turn, provide the adequate protection and security.
4. Also, I would stop people from driving personal/private cars on week days, let them commute on a designated bus instead and drive their private cars on the weekends and public holidays. I would use this as a forum to encourage drivers and conductors that they need not be touts but can also be professionals in their fields. So in this bid, I will create several kinds of buses for school kids and professionals in the Banking & Insurance industry, Legal Practice, Aviation Sector, Real Estate development, Trade Sector, Business Men/Women, Police Men/Women, Judiciary, Political Field, Entertainment Field, Market Women/Men etc. The drivers and/or conductors will be professionals in Driving practice and will be treated with utmost respect. An Agency will be created to regulate their activities, tickets will be sold to each bus with timing and bus-stop locations. This will reduce the anyhow parking of cars on the streets, encourage walking [which is a good exercise], causing traffic commotions and so much cars on the road on official working days.
5. I would build viable ports and buy lots of ships and ferries to encourage water transportation which will be cheap and accessible to all who require it. This will also help with the Nigerian Maritime practice, the sailors we have in Nigeria who have no work here and have to travel back abroad.
6. I will encourage the use of ‘made in Nigeria’ products and ban the importation of ridiculous items such as toothpick, pencils, pens, rice, nuts, cutleries, plates etc. I will in turn create farms with adequate machinery and  a good factory for the boys/men/women/girls in Aba creating duplicate American/UK items and tagging it ‘Gucci’, ‘Dolce & Gabanna’, ‘Fendi’ etc. because Nigerians will not ordinarily buy their products.
7. I will put all street beggars and stray kids in the Nigerian Military Service/Nigerian Army – they are better off there rather than begging on the streets and creating nuisance. The country will make better use of their agility and because they really have no one, they will be better committed to doing what they ought to do – to serve and protect the nation.
8. I will create a Police Academy where all police men/women will be taught the use of logic and clear thoughts, proper defense mechanisms, act of proper investigative ability, code deciphering and use of forensics in any crime scene.
9. I will make the National Youth Service optional for youths in the country but compulsory if you wish to engage in any public service for the Country [i.e government work]. If they decide to so engage in the NYSC scheme, they will be required to join the police Academy for 3 months of their service – scrap the camping activities in various states. They will also be made to travel round the states in the Country for 6 months to learn about the diverse cultures and heritage – this will assist them to settle in any state where they are deployed for the public service they wish to engage in. The remaining 3 months will be spent in apprenticeship of wherever they desire [of course, they will receive entitlements and benefits].
10. Lastly, I will re-introduce the Kobo and make items affordable. How? I will put the Naira and Kobo on the Forex reserve and with the help of brilliant Economist, make the economy stable. All locally made items will be sold at an affordable rate [the manufacturers will get adequate benefits to encourage more locally produced goods] while imported goods will be sold at a far higher rate because of the payments made at the customs and excise duty [the rates at the customs will be made to discourage unnecessary imports into the country].

There. I have a lot of things to say but I feel these are urgent and necessary [my opinion].

What do you think about my list? Do you have better things you think I should have said?

Please feel free to share your comment on what you think is really lacking in Nigeria.

Cheers!

Alpha Series: E’s Empathy Lack

You can read my previous post here on Alpha Series – ‘A’s story  , Alpha Series – B’s Beast , Alpha Series – C’s Catastrophe and Alpha Series: D’s Debacle. You can also check out similar posts on the Alpha-series on Kofo’s blog here , here, here, and here . Enjoy!

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“Can you try to see with the eyes of another? Can you try to listen with the ears of another? Can you feel with the heart of another? If you can…congratulations! It means you can walk a mile in someone’s shoes and not just stand there feeling sorry that their shoes hurt.”

‘Enough is enough!’ Ereya screams at me. I look at him with utter shock; he does not believe a word of what I say. I scurry off like a mouse to my room. I am feeling unwanted and disliked. I am feeling all by myself. I do not like this feeling. I peer out the room window looking at the nearby sea and feel the distant breeze. The rain is coming again and I smile sardonically.

Eagerly I have been staring at the edge of the water for as long as I can remember and never really understanding just why; I want to be the perfect daughter – I wish I could, but it is really hard. So maybe I will just roll away, to a place far far away because no matter how hard I try, my body still leads me back to the water.

Enthusiastically, I run my palms across my hair with thoughts that the rain is falling on me, as I continue to look out. I want to cease from existing. I am not sure how I can achieve it but the rain gives me hope. I hear my name being called. I dive underneath the bed. ‘Berema? Berema?’

Ereya’s hard feet are thumping the ground. It is sounding like drops of heavy coco yam. I shake off the thought to smile and keep a grim face. He is looking at my box. ‘Ha! I do not hide there any more, you big goat!’ He continues pacing for a while and stops, muttering something I cannot hear. He moves away to another room. I stay put for a while. I know how tricky Ereya can be.

Evolving from my trance, I hear noises in the background. I realize I had slept off underneath the bed. I am not sure how long I have stayed put but as I stifle a loud yawn, I know that it must have been really long. I hear Jaja talk with somebody. That somebody does not have Ereya’s voice. What are they saying? I wonder. I try to listen but my heart beat is interrupting the voices. I strain my ear a bit.

‘Exactly what I am saying, Ereya should have applied more caution in dealing with the situation. I wonder where she might have run off to; poor child, having to go through all that in silence.’ I hear the ‘somebody’ sigh. I wonder if my elder brother is around. I want to get up and run. Run very far away where no one can see me but I am not sure where to run to. I hope that my brothers will keep this information amongst them. Perekule cannot hear that I let them know. I know what wonders he will perform if he finds out.

Expectantly, the four feet began to move away towards the outer door. I bring out my head and scan the arena. The coast is clear. I breathe in a bit too quickly. The sun hits me. I realize the weather had changed. What a pity, I mutter…I was hoping on the rain.

Eagerly, I prance about my room. My head is singing a happy song. I stop to listen a bit. I smile sheepishly. I know what I want and I will do as I please. I sit on the edge of my bed and twist my hair into Bantu knots. I am overly excited. My jaws begin to hurt. I refrain from smiling as I let my thoughts wander. I hear my name again; I reach for the floor again and dive under the bed.

‘Employ other means.’ I hear Jaja say ‘if we cannot find her in this small house, it is because we are acting inefficiently. Let us be calm about this and pretend that you and Berema did not discuss this sacrilege we hear. Let her tell us more succinctly what she is saying. At least, I will be present too and confirm if she is lying or not.’ I hear Ereya hiss out loud ‘Berema is just a coward! I have no idea where she ran off to but if I catch her, I will beat her brains out.’

Empathy is for the brave at heart and I know how uneasy it is for Ereya to wrap this strange idea around his head. He looks up to Perekule and sees no ill in him. How dare I spoil his so perfectly built up image?

Emotionally drained and exhausted, I hold back the tears that threaten to fall off my face as I stretch my full height underneath the bed. I am no longer in doubt as to what I need to do. I am no longer afraid of hiding the truth; after all, it will still be a lie in the ears of everyone. So much for holding it in, pretending to be the strong one; needing no help. So much for carrying up a front, leading everyone to believe that my life is happy and sweet.

Existing in sizes and bits is what I have been doing but no more. I will live my life to the fullest, just as I please. No more will I dance to the whims of anyone. I know everyone on this island seems so happy, everything is by design and I will not be satisfied if I play along.

Every turn I take – every trail I track, every path I make – every road leads back, to the place I know where I cannot go, where I long to be – see the line where the sky meets the sea? It calls me and no one knows how far it goes. If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me, one day I’ll know. If I go away, there’s just no telling how far I’ll go.

Even if I’ll be satisfied when I play along, the voice inside me sings a different song. What is wrong with me? Can you see the light as it shines on that sea? It’s blinding but no one knows how deep it goes and it seems like it’s calling out to me. So I will let it come find me and let me know what’s beyond that line, if ever, will I cross that line?

My cousin has grown without me…

Yes, you read right.

So about a week ago, it dawned on me that everything was moving and nothing was waiting on me. I mean, did I really expect ‘them’ to wait on me? Lol. I know how many of us don’t keep frequent touch with our family relations except the ones that we think really matter; like our parents, our direct siblings, our parents favorite siblings and maybe three (3) to five (5) cousins plus some nieces and nephews but I try to, even though I have tons of them because my heart is bursting from too much love for them.

My story? Well…where do I begin? I have always been a lover of anything family – from my parents, to my siblings, to my uncles and aunts, to my cousins and my nieces and nephews. I mean, I grew up around family, I breathed family, I lived family, I wore family, need I say, I did everything family.

What happened? Truth be told, I am not exactly sure if I want to share that part which is very much a long story and will mean me baring my heart out but I want to say that I did my fair share of the job – which was keeping in touch as much as I could. However, life reared one of its’ ugly head and stepped in the way.

It so happened that while I was growing up, the family brand I grew to know and love, started fading away. I lost my family relations to their different school activities, their own childhood friends and colleagues, their own spouse and family, or to their various jobs. So in as much as I tried to keep in touch with no positive feedback, I started getting exhausted.

Little did I realize that time was moving at its own pace, leaving me behind with my family worries. Recently, one of my cousins graduated from the university and when I saw the post on Instagram, I was very happy but yet sad. I was happy because it was a step to bigger things for that cousin of mine but I was sad because I realized that I did not even know this cousin of mine who had grown up without knowing me too.

This cousin of mine that I did not know had grown to be something amazing and beautiful, a source of inspiration to others, a source of joy and a role model to many younger ones. I was foremost ashamed and really hurt that we do not know ourselves as much as we should have. I don’t know why I was but I just was.

I called up my brother who ought to be closer to this cousin of mine than my very self but he was wowed and excited by the fact that our cousin had graduated [how the years had run by] and promised to call up this cousin of ours in a bid to send his warm congratulations.

I know some of you may say…’hey gurl, it’s not that serious‘ but I think it is.

Family is something worth celebrating and every special moment that they have should be something happy for every other member of the family. So be it a wedding, a baby delivery, a birthday celebration, a naming ceremony, a matriculation, a school graduation, a first class celebration, a job promotion, a special appointment, an anniversary, a home warming event, a funeral or even a memorial…family should always be present.

Now I know everyone has a different definition of who they term family and I do not disagree with your opinions, I for one would and still think that one’s direct cousins should be a part of this list. We should grow in as friends, strengthening the family bond we already share – I think this is one thing the Hausa man knows how well to do.

However, I will not end this post without properly congratulating my cousin, even though we grew apart, on the university passing out.

Congratulations darling…I know that this is another step to a greater path you have chosen and  I cannot be more grateful to God for letting you go through your University years with His grace surrounding you and His mercies. I believe that you have grown to be a strong-minded, intelligent, good and well-rounded person and I cannot but stop here to wish you extremely well in your further life endeavours. I love you, always and forever. Cheers to a new phase in your life and I pray for many more good things to come your way.

 

NEW MUSIC ALERT!!! Turn-Up

Just two (2) weeks ago, the Gangster Property announced the release of a 3rd single by Dina titled – Walking Away. The new release was the hype of the week.

If you did not hear about her previous single or could not download it, do not worry – we have got you covered. Just click on here to see her previous singles.

Now just this Friday, Dina has released her fourth (4) single titled ‘Turn Up‘ produced by No Limits. This is another jam for the season. Scroll down to download ‘Turn-up’.

If you have not heard about Dina or her recent singles, then buckle your belts because she is hitting the music industry fast and hard. You may want to store up her name in your music memory.

Stay positive to the Hype!

Click here to download Turn-up by Dina

 

Alpha Series: D’s Debacle

I apologize for taking too long to continue this series. I have not had the proper time to think.

You can read my previous post here on Alpha Series – ‘A’s story  and Alpha Series – B’s Beast. You can also check out similar posts on the Alpha-series on Kofo’s blog here , here, here, and here . Enjoy!

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“Do not waste time with your explanations, people only hear what they want to hear. Your escape is just to get on the boat and run away on the water…sometimes you need to run away, just to see who will really come after you!”

Dawn was near and I knew that the youths would be awake watching and waiting for the sunrise. I moved stealthily about the room not wanting to disturb my children. I went in search of Berema. I peeped at the far left corner of the room but I see Jaja and Hariye instead, snoring away. Where is Berema? I wondered holding my area.

Debating on whether or not to wake Jaja, my grand-second son and ask for Berema, I stumble on a moving crab. ‘Ula li mena yo!‘ I squealed out squinting my eyes and reaching downward to pick it up. I look at the heavy creature and throw it into the nearby drum of crabs we have stocked, it must have escaped…I thought. “Perekule, Ogi ne bekwuor?” I hear Hariye’s faint voice. “Go to sleep my son, it is nothing.”

Deciding against my initial move to ask for Berema, I quietly go back to my bed and lie down facing upwards, looking at the thatched roof I made 51 years ago. The morning dew had started to fall, the cloud a melancholic grey; I felt the gush of fresh air, and I assume the river banks must be housing a party – for they are far too generous this morning in releasing the air filled with loamy soil, fish skin smell, decayed oysters and fresh crab. I sigh as I try to welcome a fresh round of sleep.

*********

Daring to be different most times is as hard as ever. Looking at the hungry youths all in wait for my continuing tale gave me a sense of pride, a sense of belonging, a feeling of love. I whiff in the smell of the river as I approached the youths. I can taste the salt of the water in my mouth, I realize just how old I have become.

Drifting my mind to when I was 15, I remembered the island were free, the people happier without a single care. There were no need for closure, there were no need for what if’s; just a bunch of people living life as it came. What changed? Colonization! The island had changed from what it used to be decades before now. There were more fancy huts and resting corners than we had in the ’80s. As I sat on the mat facing the Bonny waters, I sight Suwana; Awusa’s mama bringing a covered bowl of something.

Delighted at this offer of generosity, I washed my hands and began to eat slowly, the food that Awusa’s mama had prepared for me. The meal was a tasty concoction of traditional spices, steamed crabs, alligator pepper, boiled lobsters, scent leaves, palm oil, soft coco-yam and baby croackers – all boiled together to form a mouth watery seafood pepper soup. It looked like a healthy river, the one that could be rich for colonization.

Deliberately delaying the tale, I randomly picked on a crab, crushing the hard core and sucking the white meaty juice. I hear Awusa sing his usual tale with his baroque voice while the other youths chant along. I am drawn by his sense of responsibility. I cough intermittently watching them sing as mama Awusa hands me a cup of water. Other women her age are seated by the other side of the water, watching the strong men, row away their boats and canoes in search of a sea prey to sell for the day to the market traders.

Directing my gaze at the eager youths, I continued my tale – just after Suwana had cleared the empty bowl before me. ” Callistus endured for 4 more years in England, each day plotting his escape back to Bonny Island. Rev. Fr. Pepple was beginning to annoy him by his constant reminder of why he should become a priest. Callistus wanted to get married and not to the soft looking red girls who did not even care if he existed but to the thick looking black girl in his village who could cook him a spicy African meal.”

Destroying himself to please the Queen, Rev. Fr. Pepple and his mother who agreed to let him be sent off was not something Callistus would do. At age 14, he had become his own man and was ready to fight for his freedom. Cowardice did a man no good and he would not allow himself be subdued like his father. One cold night, when Rev. Fr. Pepple was tired from all the missionary training that occurred that week and was about to sleep, Callistus served him tea in his favorite saucer with a douse of rat powder.

Derisively, Callistus went in to lay on his mattress. When he was sure that two hours had passed, he went to Rev. Fr. Pepple’s room and called his name. After he heard no response, Callistus carried his well packed bag and headed to the sea. He had stolen Rev. Fr. Pepple’s torchlight, mirror, some kilo of rice, few quality spoons, a jar of biscuit, his cassock, four tins of whole milk, some packs of nuts, fruits and large quantity of meat. He was not ashamed at his doings, he had what he was going to show his people that he had brought from the white man’s land.

Dragging his foot on the cold England floor, he thought of how best to board the ship back to Bonny. He was not sure which ship to follow. He looked at the ships in the harbour, laying quietly without any passenger on board. Carefully, he perused each ship deciding which to enter. He finally came across one of the ships labeled ‘Bristol Queen’. Running his hands on the body of the ship, he decided that was the ship that was going to take him back to Bonny Island.

Deftly, Callistus walked around the ship, climbed the stairway provided and jumped into the ship’s cabin. Carefully, he roamed round the ship looking for a perfect hiding spot. Just then, he found a puller leading to the under cabin and moved in. Verifying that the spot he had chosen was safe till the morning, he tucked his bag under his head, pulled out the cassock and covered himself to sleep.

 

 

The Sunshine Blogger Award

YAYYYYY!!! I am overly joyed…I doubt you will understand.

So I was looking through my site for anything new and inspiring and the Budget bella‘s post caught my eye. I clicked on it and alas my people, she nominated me. Someone explain to me how I can contain this joy? This really means a lot to me because it shows that there is someone out there who appreciates my work and sees me fit to be nominated for an award, even if I do not get it. I am so grateful to the Budget Bella for nominating me. If I see her in person, I am going to give her a really really warm embrace. Okay…enough of my excitement *sorry guys, it is really hard to contain*.

All right, so now that I have been nominated, I have been asked to do a certain number of things. I am not exactly sure what it takes to finally win and get the awards but I will follow the rules as stated and hope that I am considered or maybe re-nominated. [I really do not know how this goes, please if you know, kindly inform me, so I can vote for my favorite favorite blogger].

Okay guys, the ‘Sunshine Blogger Award’ is given by other bloggers, to bloggers who are seen as inspiring and creative. Once nominated, a blogger is required to:

1. Thank the blogger for nominating them and link back to their blog.
2. Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger who nominated you.
3. Nominate 11 other blogs and give them 11 questions to answer
4. Notify your nominees; and
5. List the rules and display the sunshine blogger award logo in your post.

The questions I was asked by Budget Bella and my answers to these questions:

1. WHAT’S THE MEANING OF THE NAME OF YOUR BLOG?

My blog name doesn’t necessarily mean anything. It is actually my native name with ‘thinks-out’ saying that I actually have lots of thoughts and now I want to think them out to the general public to read and see.

2. WHAT ARE YOUR BLOGGING ACHIEVEMENT SO FAR?.

So far, I have achieved a lot!!! First, I have received so many offers telling me to make my works into a script, I have just been too lazy to re-draft into manuscripts. Secondly, I have really really committed readers and critics who call me weekly asking why I have not put up anything or why my stories do not continue or why I have to keep them waiting.  Finally, before I say too much, too many, I have been able to put smiles on people’s faces, been able to build a loyal audience and I have been able to communicate with people’s emotions and feelings.

3. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR BLOGGING STYLE?

I swear love, I have no style oo. I write as the spirit leads and hope really that my readers can relate and understand what I am trying to pass across. I think it is high time I garner a definable writing style. However, I make sure that in all I write, two or more persons out there are able to relate and nod in their mind saying ‘true that…very true, I agree with what she is saying’.

4. OUTDOOR OR INDOOR?

Lol, I think I am in between. I am a pure mixture of both. Some days, I can love to hang and play with friends, go to the beach and jump around, see a movie and eat two large pop-corns, or even go about traveling and networking with other amazing species of the earth. Other days, I can just want to lie on my bed all day, day-dream and think of what I will be like when I am 65, watch movies on my laptop, surf through the net, play need for speed, or even try to experiment cooking different foods.

5. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?

If anyone knows me by now, it is the fact that I do not have a favorite food. It is like saying, ‘Porridge yam and Plantain…shift, it is only Jollof rice and Fresh Fish that I will eat because it is my fave.’ No way, that is doing a disservice to all other great food out there. I mean, how can I say my favorite food is ‘Spaghetti, boiled egg and meat-sauce’ when there is something like ‘pounded yam with Egusi and Fresh fish’ or something like ‘avocado pear, toast bread, bacon and coffee’ or something like ‘Starch and Banga’ or even something like ‘Pepper stew with crabs and boiled potatoes’? Kai, do not let me start going on a food spree, biko. I love food, that is all.

6. WHERE DO YOU SEE “YOUR BLOGGING SELF” IN THE NEXT FIVE YEARS?

OMG!!! In 5 years from now, I see my blogging self as a renowned travel and photography blogger, making great best-selling novels from my travel experience and possibly amazing cinematic films from my written works.

7. FRUITS  OR VEGETABLES??

So now I have to choose? Kai, oh well then, fruits it will be.

8. WHO OR WHAT  INSPIRES YOU ??

I am inspired by a lot of things but most importantly, I am inspired by my self-motivation to grow bigger and satisfy my waiting audience.

9. SNEAKERS OR HEELS??

Sneakers please.

10. IF YOU WERE GIVEN A PRIVATE JET TO FLY TO ONE COUNTRY,  WHERE WOULD IT BE AND WHY?

This is not fair oo, why one country? Well, I would fly to Russia because I hear it is the coldest place apart from the Atlantic and I would very much like to see where my parents schooled and where exactly my god-parents lived.

11. MOVIE DATE OR MEAL DATE??

*Tear-stricken-face…all these options that limits me, na wa oo. Meal date, please. Thank you.

NOW MY SUNSHINE BLOGGER AWARD NOMINEES ARE [GHEN GHEN]:

PS: If you haven’t heard about these blogs, you should check them out!

Natural Girl on a Budget

Cat Eguh’s Blog

Ekaete Hunter

The Kink and I

Aminu Habibat’s Fancy

A & A Nature’s Touch

Sheedart’s Space

Kofoworola Toriola

Budget Bella

The Rains Asylum

Miniscule Diary

NOW MY QUESTION GOES:

1. Why did you start up your blog?
2. What keeps you pushing and inspires you to publish a post?
3. Do you blog as a hobby or because you intend to make it a vocation where you can earn?
4. When did you realize that you needed to start blogging? And if you could write a book about yourself, what would the title be?
5. What informed your decision to name your blog the way it is?
6. Are there times you said you were going to stop blogging? If yes, why did you feel that way and how did you overcome the temptation?
7. What is your biggest achievement since you started blogging?
8. How do you feel when you put up a post and nobody drops a comment or two? Do you look out for comments or you just post?
9. Are you happy with your blog? If yes, do you intend to publish some parts of your blog posts for sale, maybe?
10. What do you intend to do with your blog in two years time?
11. Finally, are you a foodie like me? If yes, do you even have a favorite food?

Thank you Budget Bella again for nominating me. I sincerely appreciate you maami. Kai. Okay, for my nominees, do well to answer your questions and nominate others you feel should get this award. It was fun answering the questions I was asked and I hope the people I have nominated will respond to my question. I cannot wait to read them!

Cheers.

 

 

 

 

Lagos Hustle 5 – Rain and Traffic

“The best thing one can do about the rain is to let it rain, because the nicest thing about the rain is that it stops…”

“You will never get to work on time sitting in traffic, so prepared to be annoyed. However, sitting in traffic is not bad as long as your lane moves faster than the lane beside you…”

This week has not been my best week in months so far and it is okay because of course, life goes on. So this is a rare situation of me catching a cold that I have hardly ever caught. I guess my red blood cells are asking for another nine [9] lives injection.

Anyways, this Monday, I woke up to the rain. As it is in Lagos, especially for all workers in companies, Firms and organizations, 4am is the normal time to wake up and get ready to set about the day’s activities. So when I woke up this particular Monday morning by exactly 4.04am to the rain pour, I thought ‘it would stop before 5.10am, it has been raining since about 2am‘.

I was wrong. It rained throughout that morning and into the afternoon. Myself and my friend who stayed with me had to find our way through the rain to get to our separate offices. Unfortunately for us both, we had no umbrella [Long story about how my umbrella got forgotten and later taken by the ‘Nigerian owner’ and so I have no umbrella].

I do not want to tell you the sordid detail of how we left home by 5.30am in spite of the rain after hoping that it would be mild, did not get a bus out of Badore to Ajah till about 6.35am, finally got to Ajah by 7.50am due to the heavy traffic and there was just no bus to our destination. How we waited on the BRT queue for another 30 minutes and then another 2 hours journey from Ajah to VI, before I finally got to work that Monday. I remember clearly getting to the office by 10.42am dripping wet and shaking like a 1 year old leaf!

My post is to tell you what happened to me this Wednesday and how the struggle in Nigeria and in fact Lagos, is very very real. So as usual, I woke up by 4am on the dot and prepared to leave the house before 4.40am. It was raining this particular morning as usual but I was getting used to it. My friend and I left home by 4.50am and walked under the rain to the estate gate, hoping to find a quick keke to Ajah/Ilaje to meet up with my other friend who was driving to work.

Now my other friend was coming from Thomas Estate, Ajah and we knew her chances of getting to Ajah/Ilaje before us was very high so I called and asked her to wait for 5 -7 minutes, if in any case she gets to the meeting point before us. My people, we waited at my junction for a keke to Ajah till 6.30am.

I was very scared. My heart beat was racing. I knew I was going to get late to work. It was raining on us, the roads were clogged with water, deep pot-holes and there were just too many cars coming out at the same time. I let out a deep sigh and crossed back to the other side of the road with my friend to enter a keke that was coming from the other side. That was the only means of getting a transport that was not already filled with people. By this time, my other friend had already left for work.

Admist the traffic, we got to Ajah by 7.45am and queued up to join the BRT since there was no fast hope of getting a bus by that time without having to fight with all the other frustrated Lagosians and getting dirty from muddy water. The BRT began to move by 7.55am and by 8.45am, the BRT broke down before Osapa London -Jakande. My chest began to dance the samba and tango at the same time. My head was speaking in so many tongues I couldn’t even hear. My hands began to speak gibberish to my body.

I did not know what to do. At this point, there was no bus that was half full or empty going my direction. All the buses kept screaming Ikate/Chisco. For the love of God, I begged in my heart for an Obalende or CMS buses or even a Lekki bus. None came. The BRT driver disappeared.

I could hear complaints from left, right and center. Some people did not even have the complete fare to continue their journey, so they started fighting to enter any other BRT that was coming even if it was extremely full. I was afraid to stand under the rain seeing that I was already shivering. My insides were rumbling from cold and I could not even keep warm. I decided with my friend to resort to street begging of private cars.

My people, it was not an easy something. No car owner/driver/passenger even looked our direction. They were either pressing their phones, making up, eating their breakfast, talking on the phones, jamming to their radios, talking to their next passenger, sleeping or reading papers or office documents or whatever those people reading, were reading.

I was inside the BRT trying to communicate like a lost puppy to any driver that cared to pay attention. I waved, I hissed out loud, I knocked on the BRT windows, for where!?

Not a single human being heard me or even paid attention. Not one. I began to fear for my safety. What if I was in a very bad situation that needed somebody’s attention. Just anybody. What if I was been assaulted, harassed or even in the process of being kidnapped? Nobody would have observed. I fear for what this country has done to us. We care no more about anything or anybody.

My friend sighed and came down under the rain hoping to maybe see a free bus with even one space. We were prepared to lap each other. Not a single bus.

I looked at my time, it was 9.45am. What was I going to say at the office? That there was traffic? That was nonsense! It is just like saying there is no light. Really? Who does not know that there is traffic in Lagos or that Nigeria generally does not have light? Is that an excuse to be late? Who cares? Get your self together, understand your area and come out by 2am if it means you have to, to avoid any unforeseen contingency. Just make sure you get to work at the appropriate resumption time. Some bosses may be nice during the rain and give you a 30 minutes or 1 hour grace but not all bosses would so do. In this Nigeria? When the economy is hard and everybody is trying to find a living, you now want to spoil someone else’s business with your lateness? Biko, stay your lane and they will stay on theirs…

Anyways, I had already informed my colleagues at the office that I would be late due to the happenings around me but I was still very scared. I was late on Monday and Tuesday, now I was adding Wednesday to the picture. Very hilarious. My throat was clogged with tears. I came down from the BRT into the rain and began to shiver and shake like a worm that had been poured salt. I ran back into the BRT and looked out again, this time hoping to find a good samaritan.

I noticed a black jeep and just somehow my eye caught the eye of the owner at the back making a phone call. The man just kept staring at me as I made several hand gestures in a pleading form and mouthing ‘anywhere you are going’. He just looked on, looked at his driver and then looked at me again. My friend mouthed ‘VI, Obalende‘ but the man was just looking confused as he was making his call. I was really hoping he would wind down his windows and say ‘I do not understand you’ or ‘Come in or ‘No, I am sorry’ but this man said nothing and the car zoomed off. I was highly disappointed.

I stared on and just then, my friend said “Oh look, another BRT is coming” and I said in reply “let’s go out and see if we can smuggle ourselves into it.”

So we came down, told the other lady with a baby that there was a BRT coming and that it would be nice to smuggle our way out of this terror plus her baby was getting wet under the rain and I felt bad. So the BRT came and miraculously, I saw our BRT driver who pleaded on our behalf to let us in.

I let the woman and her baby go in first, while I followed after my friend. There was no space to sit in the BRT bus so we had to stand. This was my first standing experience in a BRT so I was not sure how exactly to position myself. I kept hitting the lady in front of me and having to apologize so many times till I was finally able to figure it out. I felt so embarrassed. However, the lady was kind to me and later showed my friend and I, how to sit on the rail covering the engines close to the BRT driver, so that I did not have to stand

Phew! This post has become a rant.

Anyways, I got to my work place by 11.10am, said a quick prayer and ran up the stairs to my office room. When I got in, my colleagues were so nice to me and my boss just smiled me off and said “I heard your bus broke down, it’s okay. Just settle in and do your assigned work.”

I ran back to my desk, tried to dry myself even though the AC was on and pretend that everything was normal. Going back home that day was a night mare. Another friend of mine who I had followed on the way home had a car break down and he did not know just what to do. His mum who was in the car as well had to call in the dad to come to where we were parked to help out with the car. I got home that day by 12.17am.

I just swallowed spit and resolved that come what may, tomorrow was going to be better but Thursday and today being Friday, still turned out same. Even though I woke up by 3.50am to get out early, I still arrived work later than my 8.00am resumption time but I still believe that each day will be better than the last and I will not stop believing that.

NB: If you are living in Lagos and you understand the tactics and judgment here, you will agree with me that every individual needs to own at least if not two [2] but one [1] umbrella for this rainy season and a rubber slipper, you cannot afford to get your shoes wet and your socks for the guys. The ladies, it is not enough that you own an umbrella, add a rain shower cap to the list. The umbrella may just spoil, like mine did on Thursday. The rain blew it up and over. Thank God, I had something to cover my hair in.

As for the traffic, we all know that Lagos is no child’s play, so be an early riser and in situations like this, be prepared to rise by even 3am if it so means. If you get to work too early, catch a good amount of sleep by your corner before the time for resumption. Don’t worry, it will be better…maybe. I understand that you like your bed but hey guys, let’s make hay while the sun shines so that we can later lie on our bed as we have laid it. The evenings, I still have no prescription because I always get home late. I am even used to it, be it even by 1.20am. If you live by Badore, I am sure you will understand what I am saying.

Cheers to a good weekend guys.

PS: I have not had time to follow up on my previous post on Alpha series and I apologize for the delay. I have been busy and I promise to put up something soon.

Alpha Series – C’s Catastrophe

You can read my previous post here on Alpha Series – ‘A’s story  and Alpha Series – B’s Beast. You can also check out similar posts on the Alpha-series on Kofo’s blog here , here, here, and here . Enjoy!

“To first control a people, you must first control what they think about themselves and how they regard their history and culture, and when your conqueror makes you ashamed of your history and culture, he no longer needs prison walls or chains to hold you – John Henrik Clarke”

“To colonize people’s minds, you must first demonize their cultures, then their traditions…”

Cold heartless stories always began here at my community under the mango tree by the moonlight with stacks of fire-woods built like an army raving mad, shinning red and yellow, providing warmth.

Crouching my old heavy weight towards the small mat on the wet floor, I settled before the youths lingering around, waiting for my weekly night tale especially the ones I told after today’s festival.

Carefully, I looked around them hoping to find Berema seated somewhere in the crowd, she always avoided my weekly tales. I could see Awusa sitting with the drums, waiting patiently for the time he would have to beat us a rhythm in between my tales. I smile at him. Such a handsome, promising young man.

Casting my mind back to when I was younger, I decided to tell a tale of myself. So I forged names and locations, obviously the youths will be too engrossed to even think it is real and so I began…

“Callistus was his name…very odd! The white men had named him Callistus saying he would one day be a priest of his people; even though the white men spoke funny languages, people still looked up to them like some sort of gods.” I hear Awusa as he beats his drum in a thundering rhythm. I continued smiling…”his mother laughed after she was explained to, saying the white men gods have chosen her son as his beloved. She gladly handed him over to them to train him in the way of their most high god.”

“Considering the path his son was chosen for, Callistus father hated the white men and their funny language the more. He revered the gods at Bonny island. He revered the gods of his people. His son would never bear Callistus. His son will never be a priest. His son will speak his native tongue. The white men tried to deceive him by buying him fancy items…but Callistus father never agreed. He fought to keep his son from the claws of the white men. He fought to keep their language.”

“Callistus father was unfortunately killed in the dead of the night. No trace on who did, no clue. Callistus mother gave him up the very next day to the white men, saying Uba n’uwena…uba funie wulu puena. He hated his mother for that, and he swore never to become a priest.”

“Colonization became a fun game. The white men had taken over the shores of their island, teaching the people in Bonny island the language of the Queen; English language, threatening to shoot when the people antagonized. It became an arrogant form of patriotism. The Britain were seen as great people. Their god was the one true god irrespective of the people’s gods.”

“Captain Hart was appointed a chief, right after Callistus father passed on and he agreed to send off some of his youths to the British consul for special training and empowerment. Of course, the community was greatly rewarded for the exchange and that was the day Callistus forgot what it meant to smile.” I stretch my tired back as I let Awusa sing a sad song, beating his drum at intervals.

Curiously, I look around again for Berema. This time I sight Finima and hope that Berema will be somewhere around. I continue. “Callistus was taken with some other youths out of the Bight of Bonny and straight to England. Somewhere along the line, they were divided and he was sent to live with an old priest…Reverend Father Pepple.”

“Constantly, Callistus tried to find the greatness in the England that he found himself. Every day, he would attend the mass with the priest and constantly be reminded that Jesus loved him. Callistus did not know about this Jesus. He had heard that the Queen’s god was superior to all the gods at Bonny Island. He was trying to understand that…now Rev. Fr. Pepple was talking about Jesus.”

“Clueless about Jesus and mass, Callistus approached Rev. Fr. Pepple one night and said…Father, I not a knowing your Jesus but if you are take me back to my people-ing, maybe your Jesus will be understand. Rev. Fr Pepple had replied saying, do you not know that Jesus loves you?”

“Callistus responded saying…I not know this thing you have say all the time but maybe if I go back to my people-ing and I tell them about your Jesus, we and I can coming to love him too in our village?… How dare you say you want to go back to that evil forest of yours? You will stay here and be my server and learn the way of the Lord, else I will hand you to the Queen.” I waited for Awusa to beat the drum, but boy was long lost in my tale waiting on my next line. I sighed as I continued…

“Capable of being killed just like his father, Callistus stayed and endured. One night, he sat up, ran to Rev. Fr. Pepple and spoke of marriage and when he realized priests don’t get married, his resolve of running away from the prison became stronger. How would they choose him for a life of suffering without his people, without a wife, without children? All for who? Some Jesus that he did not know. He began to wonder, is Jesus a woman?”

“Casually, Callistus would take a long stroll at the water port when Rev. Fr. Pepple went to say mass for the sailors at sea and hoped that someone would come to rescue him. He hated his life here in England. He missed the water crabs, the fishing games and the people. He wondered what his mates would be doing. Some would have married. He missed the Kalabari dish and spices. The British people ate too many rubbish, he could not understand. They fried their fish and baked their beans. Nonsense cooking style. He kicked a stone.” I stretched for ease…I was tired of my story.

“Continue grand Perekule, the youths all murmured. Don’t cut the story short today please.” I look at the tale starving youths all looking like me back then…I wonder what they will do if the white men came now to gather them away. I stand to full height watching Tamuno as he clasped his hands in desperation “I will continue next week…my weak bones are tired and need some rest.”

Composing myself regardless of the burning sensation I felt in my chest, I strode calmly towards my hut. The night was cold and almost over. Today was a busy day. The children needed sleep. I hear footsteps running after me, I know it is Awusa. “Grand Perekule, should we come to your hut? We could give you a massage as well while you tell us the remaining story…”

Craving the need to succumb to his request, I swallow a nudging smile. I turn back to see him surrounded by the other youths, all with pleading eyes. I know I need the massage but I do not want to continue the story tonight. Taking a deep sigh I respond “Grand Perekule will continue the story tomorrow…we all have had a long day, let us take a good rest, dreaming of our fore-fathers while we return afresh in the sunrise for the first time, to complete Callistus story…Aba nu’punella lolo.”

Catching my stick which was about to fall, I continue to my hut “Nu’punella Grand Perekule…Sleep well” the youths shouted after me. I reach my hut. It is dark. I reach out for the side lamp. Where is Berema?

007: The Man with The Golden Gun…

“My name is James…James Bond! – Roger Moore [1974]”

So yesterday while on twitter, I read that my favorite ‘James Bond’ character died of cancer. At first, I thought it was some sort of new movie in the Bond series, so I went straight to Sahara Reporters site and lo and behold, the man with the golden gun had truly died. I was devastated! When I told my mum about it, she screamed! I can imagine why, we loved the guy.

Roger Moore was my dad’s favorite James Bond character and my siblings and I grew to love him the same. We had a stack full of James Bond movies when I was younger. I remember my dad would buy us toy guns and nice suits and say, ‘now you can look like 007 – James Bond!’ It was such a thrill in my little days when my dad would drive in a sudden way during our travels making us yelp and he would suddenly shout ‘get ready…James Bond 007 is on the move!’ I remember how my dad would race cars on the road whilst we were travelling and my siblings and I would keep count of all the cars my dad drove faster than. We would even encourage him with constant shout of ‘daddy, go faster…the blue Benz is catching up with you! We cannot disappoint James Bond.’

My siblings and I would grab our seat belts and glasses and get ready for the worst kind of action from my dad, all in the name of playing like Roger Moore. I remember my siblings and I would dress up in suits, pour water into our guns and act like James Bond and M. We would create secret codes and behave like foolish spies, all in the name of acting as James Bond, lol.

It’s a pity I did not get to see the real Roger Moore as I claimed I would have. May God rest his soul.

So in his honor, I will tell you all the James Bond movies I watched as a kid featuring Roger Moore and maybe you could try to see them too. Though the movies were acted a long long time before I was born, my dad kept a box of these movies, so we got to enjoy them as well, when we came alive. My dad made sure we saw all the movies…well, I haven’t seen ‘SPECTRE’, the last James Bond movie by Daniel Craig, acted in 2015.

The first I saw of Roger Moore as James Bond was… ‘THE SPY WHO LOVED ME‘. I remember I used to refer to it as Russian spy because the lady spy was Russian who later fell in love with James and one of her lines that made James Bond like her after he realized that she knew him well was… “Waiter, give James some Martini, shaken not stirred.” I also remember when he drove his car underwater and came out on an Island beach and stuck out a baby fish to the onlookers. Ah!

The second one I saw was ‘THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN’. I can still remember the song from the movie and the horrible looking man with metal teeth named ‘Jaw‘. He was so tall I thought it was a joke! My dad later told me he was made like that.

The third one I saw was ‘OCTOPUS‘. I browsed it out today and found out that the real name of the movie was ‘Octopussy‘. All I knew it as then was Octopus and I remember it was a lady who was very deceitful and wanted to obtain information about M16 and thought that James would get confused by her body to reveal the sensitive information which he almost did. Jamie sha ended up loving the octopussy. #smh. I wish I could do a review on each movie though but I will have to re-watch.

The fourth one I saw was ‘FOR YOUR EYES ONLY‘. I remember the video CD had legs of a girl and James Bond standing in between with his gun, the legs looked so high I wondered what was happening. Most days I’d study the Video paper to understand the illustrations and how exactly legs were taller than Jamie. I am not exactly sure the plot of this movie before I mistake it with ‘THE LIVING DAYLIGHT’ or ‘DIE ANOTHER DAY‘. They all seem to have mostly the same girls so I am a bit confused. I think I need to re-watch these movies but the problem is where to buy the CD from.

The fifth one I saw was ‘A VIEW TO KILL’. I loved the cars he rode in this movie and his suave attitude. I remember the ski scene and the incessant shootings. Nobody dies, yeah…I don’t even know if the song is for this movie, lol.

The last one I saw featuring Roger Moore as James Bond was ‘MOONRAKER’. I remember I kept on telling my dad I was going to be an astronaut after this movie. I even said I was going to be a Russian spy so that I could travel anywhere and be anybody just so I can get information for the government. The job of a spy seemed so cool, I just wanted to be a spy already but fast forward to some sixteen years later and here I am, a tiny blogger, no spy, no astronaut, no nada!

I realized yesterday that I missed out from watching one of his James Bond series titled ‘LIVE AND LET DIE‘. I kept seeing the hashtag #LALD on twitter following his name and I was wondering what that meant. Only to browse it out and saw the movie. I was heartbroken. Yes, this is how much I feel about him.

By the way when I was much younger, I always thought Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton and Pierce Brosnan were the same people. I just felt that James Bond grew from Timothy, to Roger and then Pierce. I later realized sometime in life [I think I was in Junior High], that they were different people.

I also thought Sean Connery was Roger Moore’s brother because they had the same nose and they had the same poise as Bond men. So when I saw Sean Connery in ‘FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE‘ and then saw Roger Moore in ‘THE SPY WHO LOVED ME [Russian spy]’, I thought “ah why are these two brothers acting the same character in different movies? Why not just pick one and stop confusing people?”

Well, now I know better.

ROGER MOORE

SEAN CONNERY.

At that point…they looked the same. Now they don’t. Oh well! Rest in peace Roger Moore. I will miss you.

PS: I had always thought Ian Fleming was also one of the James Bond actors. Later found out that he is actually the character creator/Novel writer of the Bond series.

Bloody Savages: Our Father

“If you oh Lord should mark our iniquities, Lord who could stand? – Psalm 130 : 3″

PS: So we had been given a task about Domestic Violence on the TLC [The-Literary-Cafe] whatsapp platform and I had drawn up several ideas. I tried to reduce it in bits to make a poem but the  more I tried, the longer it got. So I gave up and decided to do a story instead. Fortunately, my story coincides with the Lenten celebration and season of Easter. Maybe I can finally use my Talent in a way that praises God. Enjoy!

Preye darts her eyes across the end of the room as daddy’s belt swifts the air landing on her back for the seventeenth time. She gnashes her teeth, recoiling in pain as another stroke hit her. Jero, Uye and I stand still at the naughty corner as we watch Preye shrink in pain from daddy’s constant beating. We know too well than to interfere, after all we had just received our share of the spanking. Mummy stands at the kitchen door shouting and crying at the same time.

“Don’t kill her for me oo, leave her, I beg of you. You have beaten her enough. Preye, can’t you run?”

“You will tell me if I was the one that gave birth to you...” Daddy states in anger as he hit her another lashing round “Ask your mother who your father is!” He finishes as he instructs her to join us at the naughty corner and walks into his room.

Uye wipes the tears from her eyes as Preye joins us with a stiff face. She never cries when daddy beat her. Mummy says she has a heart of stone and I seem to agree as well.

“Everyday daddy will be beating us as if we are sticks because of a common mistake. Is it our fault that Uye broke the glass painting of Jesus on the wall?” He hisses as he finishes, sniffing back catarrh from his nostrils and examining the welts on his arms.

I look away not wanting to be dragged into any side murmuring because daddy could just spring out from nowhere and hit someone based on incessant murmuring. I pout my lips as I begin to scan my arms and legs for any bruises or red marks. There is none. I am lucky today.

I look up at Preye, my elder sister. She keeps tapping her foot on the floor. I wonder what she is thinking at the moment. Her face holds no emotions, no remorse. I want to sleep, my body is tired from all the beating and standing. My stomach growls of hunger pangs. I look at Uye who is still crying like drops of rain.

Mummy comes out with a big tray and looks at us…”next time, you all will be careful in this house. Don’t you kids know that that painting was very expensive? You people keep annoying your father all the time. Do you like the way he spanks you constantly?“

She looks at Preye and I as she continues “You two, why do you keep standing in one place when your father is beating you? Do you want to injure yourselves? Can’t you run or beg? Standing like a statute! I don’t know what is wrong with the both of you.”

She hisses as she set out daddy’s food on the dining. I silently prayed the food to choke him and hand him a share of our pain. A while later, daddy comes out smelling fresh from Extract soap and water. Jero who is squatting for ease quickly rise up to full standing height. Daddy looks at us before he proceeds to sit on the dining chair.

He sits mute for a while before he beckons on us all to come over. I move grudgingly as I watch Uye scamper to him. He asks us to sit, which we did and then he carries Uye on his laps. He looks at us individually and asks, “Do you know why I spanked you today?”

Nobody makes a move to reply the rhetorical question. He looks on at Jero and continues “Jero, you are the first son and I expect everything to be right when you are around. I cannot have you around and still come home to little mistakes here and there. Preye is a girl and will always move away to another man. You on the other hand, will continue this family when I am gone. Forget the fact that she is your elder sister. I will continue to beat you and Preye for any mistake more than the others, till things get steady in this house. Don’t expect me to overlook anything…do you hear me?”

“Yes daddy.” Jero replies looking up

Daddy looks at Preye and continues “Preye?”

“Sir…” She murmurs without totally opening her mouth

“I don’t expect you to notice some mistakes but I believe that there are some that should not be overlooked. Example is today’s mistake. Where were you when your little brother was playing with that painting that he had to finally break it? Are you not supposed to take care of your junior ones? One day, you will have children, is this how you intend to supervise them? Do not let this repeat itself again. Do you hear me?”

“Yes daddy.”

He looks at me with a warm smile and asks “Do you have a headache?”

“Yes sir…” I reply still pouting

“Come let me touch your head.”

I rush over to where daddy is sitting and bend my head. Daddy touches my forehead and Yelps. “Ouch, your head is hot. Go to my drawer and bring the pack of Alabukun.”

I slide away as I head to daddy’s room and bring out the pack of Alabukun. I start to smile because I know that daddy will offer me food after I take the Alabukun. I come back to the dining and hand over the pack of Alabukun to daddy. He looks at Uye on his lap and queries “Small man, why did you break the glass Painting?”

Uye starts to cry without saying anything. Daddy looks at him “I will beat you again if you do not tell me how you managed to break the glass painting. Will you stop crying and behave like a man.”

Uye wipes off his face with his left palm and starts “I was playing with the computer in the study and then I heard Jero shout my name downstairs. I was now afraid that he will beat me if I don’t come out fast fast, so as I was rushing out, I use my back to hit the Altar table. The painting now fell, after I looked at it a little, I now wanted to carry it and put it back up on the Altar table but it was very heavy so It fell again and broke.”

Daddy shakes his head “So why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“Because Preye and Jero will spank  me if I did and Preye will lock me inside the fridge and Uncle Amos and Auntie Glory will not give me food.” He shouts. Daddy shoots a glance at Preye who looks away.

“How come you ran close to the Altar table, Uye? Did I not tell you people not to touch the Altar when I am not around? Next time you make such a mistake, make sure to tell people around you. Whether your brother or sisters or house-helps or mummy. Do you hear me?”

“Yes daddy…” he replies sniffing back a tear “but Preye will lock me in the fridge.”

“Preye why do you lock Uye in the fridge? Are you okay?”

“I’m sorry daddy. I will not do it again. He just keeps misbehaving all the time.” Preye responds.

“Uye the next time I hear that you misbehaved or acted funny, I will not take it lightly with you.”

Uye nods in affirmation after which daddy gives us all Alabukun to drink and thereafter, asks us to join him in his dinner. Mummy had been so gracious to add extra meat and soup in daddy’s meal. Preye declines daddy’s offer and goes off to bed.

I, Uye and Jero join daddy in his meal. Preye only agrees before going away, to take a chunk of daddy’s meat after daddy asks her to smile.

NB: Somehow, I am tempted to liken the ‘daddy’ in this story to God. When we do something wrong, He punishes us as well as those around us who were aware of our mistakes. Later, He forgives us and uses His right arm to gather us back to Himself by showing us His mercy and love. Most times, we act like ‘Preye‘ and refuse to acknowledge His mercy because to us, we have suffered unjustly and at that moment of His mercy, we just want to be angry at God. Other times, we act like ‘mummy‘ and blame people around us. We even go ahead to suggest easier illegitimate ways to avoid any sufferings that we feel are “Devil-inclined’. Some of us act like ‘Uye‘ and hide all our bad habit, thinking that God will not know or find out and when He eventually does, we blame the Devil.

How many times have we remained angry at God because of our sufferings?

How many times did we neglect to acknowledge by praise, a blessing because we feel that our sufferings are not commensurate?

How many times did we blame others for sins we ourselves committed?

Do we not feel it the right time to kneel before ‘Our Father’ and ask for his Divine mercy? At this season of lent, we should come before God in reverence and repentance. Remember, the Lord Listens and forgive those who are willing to submit.

Have a great day!

ONE DAY…

One day, you shall be an old person. An ancient human being with a back bent from severe arthritis. You will be hard of both hearing and sight, as most ninety year olds normally are. Anything more than three feet away from you will appear as a shadowy haze. Anything more than two metres away will be invisible, the scales in your eyes having rendered it so. Your eighteen year old grandson will have to shout a statement several times into your ear for you to get what he is saying (that’s if you are lucky enough to have gotten married early). Even then, it will be shouted only into the right ear, for the left would have completely died by then.

You will have only your incisors left in your mouth, the joys of eating “Goat meat or Isi ewu” as it’s called, will be gone, having been extinguished by your losing your canines roughly say like ten years earlier. You will only have the pleasures of still been able to take fresh fish pepper soup and whatever they make with it at that time.

You will be living alone in your house, save for your eleven year old dog(That’s around a million in dog years), if you even decided to have one earlier, you know Nigerians can be a bit funny about pets and your man/Woman-servant (I’ve always wanted to use that word), who will be completing his/her thirty-second year of service to you (That is if you have money to pay for the services or if your grown up kids are extremely nice to afford you one).

He/she will be called Itseme, not because an angel revealed that name to his/her mother, but because the mother’s first boyfriend was called Itseme, though she had lied to her husband that she had gotten the name from the Bible. Your dog will simply be called “Captain”, as your mind will be too tired to name it properly and also because it refused to respond when you called it “Malcolm”. Arrogant dog that.

You will be living in a duplex or maybe a mansion (if you had a lot of money back in your days to build one) somewhere on the Island. Somewhere far enough from town as to provide a delusion of peace and tranquillity, but at the same time close enough that you do not feel out of the loop. You are an urbane, old person, so there is no way you are going to punish yourself to the boring rigidness of rural life. Most of your friends will have been long dead by then. The few that remain will either be comatose in an ICU somewhere or too loopy for you to have a decent conversation with.

Your sole companion, apart from your dog, Captain, shall be your man/woman-servant (That word again) Itseme. Sometimes you will forget the story of his/her mother’s first boyfriend and call him/her “Ogbeni” instead. This is because, in your head, you will deem it unfair that you have never known anybody called OGBENI but have an uncle, a son, a grandson and a great-grandson all called Itseme. 4 Itseme’s’ in your direct line; 3 sired from your loins. Now, your man/woman-servant.

Haha! No, the bastard shall be called “Ogbeni”. Maybe the dog should be called Itseme…

Ogbeni (the one formerly known as Itseme) will cook all your meals for you. Your diet shall consist of mashed foods, Wheetabix, Cerelac and Golden Morn (that’s if they still exist by then); because that is the only thing the mouths of toothless bastards can muster.

Ogbeni will also be in charge of your hygiene (Read that he/she will bathe you.) You will be vexed that a fellow (wo)man has to wash you, and will once in a while stubbornly insist on showering by yourself. Only when you are slumped on the clod bathroom tiles after your legs have given up on you, will you then call Ogbeni for help. Ogbeni will refuse to come saying that that is not his/her name. You will be forced to call the bastard Itseme, and instead of the man/woman-servant coming, your grandson called Itseme will come running, see you on the floor and then run back to tell his father, also called Itseme, that he has seen Granny’s Pee Pee Thing.

Once in your while, your grand-kids will ask you to tell them how life was like in the early part of the 21st century. You will regale them with stories of your early years; you’ll tell them all about whatsapp, bbm, Instagram and Facebook. You will tell them how everybody with a phone/tab and an internet access had a blog. They will look at you with shock, wonder and ask you what a phone/tab is. You will shake your head and pray to God to take you away because you would have been tired of everything new.

By that time, you will be an old respected citizen of Nigeria and you will feel like “Ken Saro-Wiwa” felt in his days. You will be one of those rare people who existed when Justin Bieber & Wole Soyinka was still alive. By that time, Bieber will have been dead for 50 years, having died of a drug overdose, as every other person in his type of business does and Wole Soyinka will have died even before you became 50 out of a severe heart attack. Fortunately, he will have a statue to himself placed somewhere at the outskirts of Lagos and a plaque of him in every theatrical house in Nigeria.

There will be a new type of music people will be dancing to, a music genre which you cannot fathom, with artistes bearing names such as Abu the Cockroach and Ekuns the pregnant Butterfly. Some sort of translating device will have been invented, and people will stick mini versions of it in their ears at night, so as to have those pristine night-time conversations with mosquitoes and all sorts of squirming, frillings insects.

You will stay in your house all day long, because the environment outside would be too harsh for you to bear. There will be flying cars all over, which at the press of a button, turn into easily portable briefcases. People will communicate with their minds, because some sort of thought transmitter will have been created. You will be an old fogey, or as is called in our times, an analog bastard.

You will reminisce about your earlier life when you could eat Goat meat/Isi ewu, because all of your teeth were still intact. You will remember the drinking binges of “Alomo bitters & Origin”(which will no longer exist at this time) when you were in the University campus, when you got hang-over for days on end. You will remember Walter, Ama, Nnamdi and Tuoyo, your drinking buddy, those people who could drink a whole bar by themselves. You will start to take out your phone to call them, but then remember that phones no longer exist, and that they are already dead anyway. Walter died of liver cirrhosis in his late fifties, Ama had Alzheimer and got hit by a moving car, Nnamdi had died on a plane coming back from Tokyo and Tuoyo, you remember the last time had Cancer and was supposed to die a while back but because you couldn’t keep in touch, you don’t know much about her life anymore.

You will remember Anita or maybe Michael (if you are female), hot Anita/sexy Michael; the one who made your blood boil like mad in your youth. The first girl/boy you ever truly loved. The girl in the yellow umbrella, the boy in the gorgeous three-piece suit. Yes, that one. You will start crying because his/her funeral was five years ago and also because your eldest grand-kid looks so much like that person.

Captain will come into your room and find you crying. She will climb up onto your shoulders and start licking you. You will be comforted, but only for a bit, because you will realize that dog is very old in dog years, and will die very soon. Your great-granddaughter will come suddenly into the room to show you a ladybug she caught outside.

“Look at it, it’s so pretty.” she’ll say

You will see her lips moving and smile sheepishly at her. She will flash a pretty smile at you, oblivious of the fact that her great granny is ninety years old and cannot hear what she has said.

By this time the sun will be setting. The sun’s rays will cast their shine over the hills in the horizon, lingering, almost daring you to believe that it will stay. The whole place will be a pale red, as the sun casts its last gaze over the land. Captain will still be perched on your shoulder. Your great-granddaughter will still be showcasing the wonders of the ladybird to you. You will think that now the time is ripe for you to pen your memoirs, write about your childhood, your friends, your life. You will lie grossly about events as the people who would have called out your falsehoods are all dead. You will start crying again at this thought. Captain will lick you as she wag her tail.

One day you will write about this place and time.

Relationships: Best ways to respond to ‘I love you’

Most people find themselves in several kinds of relationships ranging from family, platonic friendships, romantic affairs to/or Godly/Christlike relationships and sometimes, there is that need to show and tell the next person that you care – whether you self started it or they did. Either ways, it will finally bee-hove on you to show back that you care just as much and so when those people you have a relationship with in your life say the words ‘I love you’, how best should you respond?

There might be several approaches to this statement and quite also, various ways to respond depending – of course – on the relationship you have with that person. The scenarios might play differently but I have listed below several types of responses in several relationship types…read on.

Please keep in mind that it took a lot for this person to tell you how they feel – especially if they ACTUALLY feel that way. If you are not ready to say “I love you” back to a person you are romantically involved with but you do care about them a lot; I recommend looking them in the eyes, smiling, and then making out with their face. A passionate kiss will feed their ego, while subtly letting them know that you’re not quite ready to say it back.

Or you could say:

• “Hearing you say that makes me so happy.” OR
• “It means so much that you’re opening up to me like this. Thank you.” OR
• “I’m so happy you told me.”

If you’re dating this person however and you have crossed the 3 months wait-line (which is most times, the probationary period in your head to see if ‘this‘ will last a while and not just a crush), the main thing to remember is that you want to appear HAPPY that they told you this. If you seem scared or upset, things are going to go downhill. So here are instances of the kind of response to give…

Person: I Love You.

You: ‘Sometimes I feel like my heart will burst with happiness when you say those three words!’

_________

Person: I love you.

You: ‘To the moon and back.’

_________

Person: I Love You.

You: ‘And I’m crazy about you!’

________

Person: I Love You.

You: ‘If I could say how much I love you in mere words, I might be able to talk more.’

_________

Person: I Love You.

You: ‘Me too and I’m yours, forever.’

_________

Person: I Love You.

You: ‘I know, I love you too.’

________

Person: I Love You.

You: ‘You’re the only sunshine of my life.’

_________

However, if you’re not dating this person and don’t have romantic feelings towards them, tell them you love them too but as a friend. While it sucks to hear that, it’s a good way to let them down easy. So for instance;

Person: I love you

You: ‘Lol, thank you and I love myself.’

___________

Person: I love you.

You: ‘Awwn, now you are going to make me cry. I hear that a lot!’

__________

Person: I love you.

You: ‘I really like you too but just as a friend.’

__________

Person: I love you.

You: ‘You are so on your own my dear friend.’

_________

Sometimes the statement could just come when you do not expect to hear it and you are thinking of how best to process it and give a worthy response. It may not all be that easy at times but here is what you could likely say if you truly adore that person. So for instance –

If the person is family [a sibling, a parent, a relative]…

Person: I love you

You: ‘When did you become so soft? Are you okay?’ (If the person is your elder sibling/relative) OR ‘You know I will do anything for you.’ (If the person is a cherished cousin/twin) OR ‘I love you too dear one, so what do you want this time?’ (If the person is your younger sibling/niece/nephew) OR ‘I love you too.’ (If the person is a parent).

If the person is a platonic friend…

Person: I love you

You: ‘You know I love you more and nothing can change that.’ (If it is a really close friend) OR  ‘I hate you forever!’ (If the person is a long time friend) OR ‘Awwwn babe, I love you too.’ OR ‘Much love dear.’ (If it is just a mutual friend you met three months ago).

If the person is someone you don’t even have an actual LIKING to or someone random…

Person: I love you

You: ‘What kind of nonsense is that?’ OR ‘When did this rubbish start?’ OR ‘I love myself too’ OR ‘Everybody does, get over it!’ OR ‘And God loves you too my dear.’ OR ‘Ehya…you will snap out of it soon, don’t worry.’ OR ‘Very funny, please shift biko.’ OR ‘Thank you.’

Other possible reactions to the question – when you actually do LIKE the person so much but you are not sure if they mean what they say – may include –

1: When you’re tired of hearing “That was a joke. I was only flirting. You really thought that was serious?

Person – “I love you”

You – “Hahahahaha what? Very funny! Please shift make I see road.”

2: When you’re tired of hearing “ I don’t know what I was thinking then. I was so sick. I am really sorry if this hurts you.”

Person – “I love you”

You – Feels their forehead. “Are you sure you aren’t sick? Say it next week when you feel okay.”

3: When you’re tired of hearing “I loved you then, I don’t love you now.”

Person – I love you

You – “and this mode lasts till…? Abegii” upturns an hourglass in your mind.

4: After almost two decades on the planet, several images of previous dates on social media and you hear it from the person you always knew. Please.

Person – “I love you, you’re my only and first love”

You – “I hear you! Linus Linda Mba” *smirk smirk* (Come on, liar)

5: When you really wish to see where it goes and stay polite.

Person – “I love you.”

You – “Don’t say, prove it!”

NB: No, proving doesn’t mean someone has to jump off a cliff for you, that is not being in love, that’s insane.

6: The epic ones you get to hear

Person – “I love you, I cannot live without you.” *Sad face*

You – Leaves. “ Please die before you kill me.”

I love you is 95% a promise, and 5% a confession, most people never seem to understand that. It needs to be proven everyday, in small subtle ways, not just for days, months or years, but for a lifetime. Period.

What would be your ideal response to the words ‘I love you’? Are you the kind of person to lead someone on with your response or would you just smile and wave away the statement without an actual response? I’d love to read your comments and thank you for stopping by!